School banning banter

Errr ribbing and mocking shouldn’t be part of everyday life.

And what characteristics did his 'friends' have that were endlessly ridiculed in the way his hair colour was?

That isn’t playful for many ginger haired people and would impact the self esteem of many.

So humiliating someone for a bad haircut, big nose or short stature is fine?

That's what I would call bullying.

Banter is where everyone is enjoying it. Not one person being humiliated for everyone else's enjoyment

A lot of banter I’ve heard is homophobic, mocks disability, sexist etc. I mean it’s probably ot a bad thing to ban the bantz. They are going to have to learn how to behave on different situations, may as well start now, what they do at home etc is up to them. Doesn’t mean they can’t be funny or have a joke around.

I think I am not a banterer by nature but this is totally the kind of stuff my DH would find funny.
I think if you are all enjoying it, then there's no problem.

Gosh, what a terribly sanitised vanilla world we live in now. My nephew was (and still is) carrot top ginger. He was regularly told by his school mates to get back in your biscuit tin ginger nut. He’s now 25 and has the same mates, he got married a few months ago and his best man still ribbed him about his ginger hair during the best man’s speech. Guess what…we all laughed.

Please let’s not ban all good humoured ridicule, that would be awful. Proper bullying needs to be tackled but playful banter is a wonderful way to connect with people.

Yes, if the person involved finds it funny. Otherwise no.

This

Many years ago I worked for a charity supporting refugees. Many of the conflicts involved had refugees from both sides, plus there were people of all sorts of religious and political beliefs.

The policy was that respectful discussion and debate was encouraged.

But the point at which someone was hurt or offended was the point at which the discussion/debate had gone too far.

The initial response was simply to say that it had gone too far, and shouldn't happen again, an informal conversation. But if it continued to happen there would be consequences.

If protection from being teased re your family and how you look, present, speak etc is sanitised so be it.

Well had a similar thing at work. We can banter between ourselves but have to be aware of our surroundings. We can get in trouble if someone over hears and is offended

@TwinklyAmberOrca can you give examples?

Any policy that protects children isn’t ridiculous. 🤔

I think people's definition of banter might vary.

As I said, if it is light hearted for everyone involved then it won't be reported and won't get consequences.

The policy will kick in when 'banter' is not light hearted for everyone I.e. when it has become bullying

The most recent problem with banter we've had in our school is around insulting people's family members! It has caused huge issues, we've had to increase the sanctions for it!

Whaaaaat?!?

I'm a teacher and I quite enjoy the banter with my Y11 classes! I join in. It's kept respectful and light hearted, and often linked to what we're learning about.

So it's a good thing I'm not a teacher at that school as they would have had my parents in and the police called already this week!

What a ridiculous policy!

And what about the bullies who say 'it was just banter' when challenged?

Well, if no-one is hurt then no-one will report the conversation.

If someone is hurt then it means the others can't hide behind 'it was only banter' when it is reported.

It sends a clear message that 'banter' is not a get out clause for bullying.

I’d love to know how kids engage in banter that isn’t focusing on looks, presentation, gender…. It always is and as a result is ableist, homophobic, misogynist or just down right unkind.

Rubbish. You can and schools do for good reason. It’s always the same kids giving out and the same receiving.No child should have to put up with teasing re how they look, present or anything. Those who are incapable of socialising without teasing others need to learn better methods. And as regards resilience.🙄

I think it's right that they educate the students about how banter can be, and often is, inappropriate.

I knew of a group of close teen male friends who used to banter each other. They were of mixed ethnicity (inner london) and used to all 'jokingly' call each other names that we would label racist and ableist.

It was all 'bantz' until one got in trouble for something unrelated and told the staff he was being racially bullied by his friends.

There was a huge investigation, parents called in, boys heavily sanctioned (they all remained friends after this I might add). The teachers luckily recognised it for what it was, and that all the boys were as bad as each other, but I agree that the boys did need educating about what is and isn't appropriate, even amongst friends.

I think the school banning banter is their somewhat simplistic way of trying to pre-empt having to deal with the fallout. If banter is banned, then there won't be these issues ( I mean of course the kids will all carry on regardless, but will be less likely to report comments to the staff as they'll get into trouble themselves for taking part, which is win-win for the school staff).

@MyUmberSeal so if you had a new team member who had been raped, do you think that would go down well.

Do you encourage your DC to use 'banter' to tell females to make the coffee, or do you only use that mindset in your team?