Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School banning banter

359 replies

Citrusblast92u · 10/09/2024 07:45

DS is in year 11. They had a whole school assembly yesterday's entitled 'banning bants', this includes banter between friends. One strike and they're in detention, 2 and they have to attend a workshop, 3 and parents have to attend the workshop, 4 and the police are called.

I asked him what they meant by bants and he said anything that anyone might find offensive. His mates have spent many hours at our house. They're a lovely bunch of lads, very polite and kind but their main form of communication with each other is piss taking.

Just after some opinions really rather than an AIBU.

Yabu-banter should be banned
Yanbu-they can't ban banter

OP posts:
SoTired12 · 10/09/2024 20:59

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

😂
Careful now, one of them will report you for that 😱

Combattingthemoaners · 10/09/2024 20:57

Why are you trying to suggest we are the permanently offended gang? Listing every comedy ever made like we would be offended at that too because we are so sensitive.

Schools are micro climates of society. If you worked with teenage boys at all you’d realise there is a massive issue with misogynistic and homophobic language, in particular. Language reflects values. Look at the threads on here over and over again about how husbands treat their wives. It starts when they are young. Surely you want a better society than that? Cracking down on the language they use as “banter” is a start.

It is depressing how you have trivialised this issue by making out me or anyone else who supports the school’s message as being an overly sensitive MN’er who needs to get a life.

crumblingschools · 10/09/2024 20:56

Interesting that many old comedies that are blatantly racist or homophobic are frowned upon now, some aren’t even shown anymore or haven’t aged well at all, but comedies that are misogynistic are perfectly fine. I suppose that explains why the majority of girls in school have experienced misogyny and that misogyny is still rife in many workplaces

Createausername1970 · 10/09/2024 20:55

StarDolphins · 10/09/2024 20:25

Along with Only Fools & Horses. Del should be ashamed, sexist pig!🤣

Edited
Show quote history

Radio 4 extra should come with a free fire extinguisher, as a lot of the comedy dates from 60/70s and some listeners may run the risk of self combustion.

MyUmberSeal · 10/09/2024 20:54

SoTired12 · 10/09/2024 20:52

Women like you do more damage to children.

You raise girls to believe all men are sexist/misogynistic creatures who do nothing but take advantage and rape

You raise boys to believe they are inherently evil and need to be completely emasculated in order to be worthy

Show quote history

🙌

Pinkyponki · 10/09/2024 20:53

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

SoTired12 · 10/09/2024 20:52

crumblingschools · 10/09/2024 20:32

@MyUmberSeal but if these boys were going full on Andrew Tate in their banter but not actually directing it at anyone, would you think it was fine. Absolutely not going to cause problems is it having a group of lads with toxic misogynistic mindset

Women like you do more damage to children.

You raise girls to believe all men are sexist/misogynistic creatures who do nothing but take advantage and rape

You raise boys to believe they are inherently evil and need to be completely emasculated in order to be worthy

Hereforaglance · 10/09/2024 20:48

Ladies we must not forget the carry on. Films. And the song fairytale of new York either or open all hours last of the summer wine and for goodness sake let's throw keeping up appearances in there someone please think of the children

Hereforaglance · 10/09/2024 20:45

DoreenonTill8 · 10/09/2024 20:41

@hereforaglance...
Allo allo; Dad's Army; hi de hi....
Prepare for shockery...!🫣😆

Omg hi de hi sue pollard who could forget def rewatching that not for nostalgia purpose mind but to be offended I promise

Must nip to Asda n get some snacks being offended gonna be hungry work now I think about it

Hereforaglance · 10/09/2024 20:44

MyUmberSeal · 10/09/2024 20:41

Every series of the Inbetweeners too. Full of boys bantering and making terrifyingly misogynistic comments about women. You will be horrified. Enjoy.

Show quote history

Ooo def the inbetweeners yes I promise to forgo the snacks in favour of a notebook and pen

MyUmberSeal · 10/09/2024 20:41

Hereforaglance · 10/09/2024 20:38

I was looking stuff to watch so far got Dell boy vicar of dibley n the office obviously all research purposes I promise to uphold the mn code and be completely offended throughout and I will not laugh scouts honor lol

Show quote history

Every series of the Inbetweeners too. Full of boys bantering and making terrifyingly misogynistic comments about women. You will be horrified. Enjoy.

DoreenonTill8 · 10/09/2024 20:41

@hereforaglance...
Allo allo; Dad's Army; hi de hi....
Prepare for shockery...!🫣😆

Pinkyponki · 10/09/2024 20:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Hereforaglance · 10/09/2024 20:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Brought my mate that CD for her birthday she liked the sing lol

Hereforaglance · 10/09/2024 20:38

StarDolphins · 10/09/2024 20:36

Don’t forget the Christmas special too for full research purposes…

Where he goes on the date🤣

Show quote history

I was looking stuff to watch so far got Dell boy vicar of dibley n the office obviously all research purposes I promise to uphold the mn code and be completely offended throughout and I will not laugh scouts honor lol

StarDolphins · 10/09/2024 20:36

Hereforaglance · 10/09/2024 20:32

I need to watch it all again for research purposes before joining the bandwagon

Show quote history

Don’t forget the Christmas special too for full research purposes…

Where he goes on the date🤣

Pinkyponki · 10/09/2024 20:34

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Hereforaglance · 10/09/2024 20:32

StarDolphins · 10/09/2024 20:28

And The Office…….

I’ll just watch one more episode then I will burn the DVD.

Show quote history

I need to watch it all again for research purposes before joining the bandwagon

crumblingschools · 10/09/2024 20:32

@MyUmberSeal but if these boys were going full on Andrew Tate in their banter but not actually directing it at anyone, would you think it was fine. Absolutely not going to cause problems is it having a group of lads with toxic misogynistic mindset

Hereforaglance · 10/09/2024 20:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

I think we need to meet Jason statham a'd let him know mn r coming on the bandwagon lol

Bubb13Wrap · 10/09/2024 20:30

MyUmberSeal · 10/09/2024 20:24

Such as…
spotty, pizza face, fatty, shorty, speccy 4 eyes, spas, twat, shirt lifter. All things we used to say to our mates at school. And they were mates!

Listen, kindness is importance and there is no doubt that the world has changed and we have become hyper alert at not offending people. Whether that’s made the world a better place is another matter.

But the constant catastrophising and policing of childhood experiences is quite bonkers. Bullying is horrid. Context, friendship groups and all manner of things need to be considered before we double down and castigate any kid, or adult for that matter, that engages in a perfectly normal conversation dynamic, that is banter.

Show quote history

My son constantly hearing his sexuality and ND in negative banter has had a catastrophic impact .

Combattingthemoaners · 10/09/2024 20:30

MyUmberSeal · 10/09/2024 20:24

Such as…
spotty, pizza face, fatty, shorty, speccy 4 eyes, spas, twat, shirt lifter. All things we used to say to our mates at school. And they were mates!

Listen, kindness is importance and there is no doubt that the world has changed and we have become hyper alert at not offending people. Whether that’s made the world a better place is another matter.

But the constant catastrophising and policing of childhood experiences is quite bonkers. Bullying is horrid. Context, friendship groups and all manner of things need to be considered before we double down and castigate any kid, or adult for that matter, that engages in a perfectly normal conversation dynamic, that is banter.

Show quote history

I mean, if you want to live in a world where you think it is a perfectly normal conversation dynamic to call anyone a “spas” or a “shirt lifter” then I don’t think anything I say will make a difference.

Bubb13Wrap · 10/09/2024 20:28

StarDolphins · 10/09/2024 20:00

This isn’t my experience. Sorry it’s yours.

Show quote history

You need to Google and then you’ll see how prevalent it is. The figures are awful.

StarDolphins · 10/09/2024 20:28

MyUmberSeal · 10/09/2024 20:26

I was just thinking that! Vicar of Dibley rips the piss out of gays and homosexuality so that needs to go too.

Show quote history

And The Office…….

I’ll just watch one more episode then I will burn the DVD.

MyUmberSeal · 10/09/2024 20:26

StarDolphins · 10/09/2024 20:25

Along with Only Fools & Horses. Del should be ashamed, sexist pig!🤣

Edited
Show quote history

I was just thinking that! Vicar of Dibley rips the piss out of gays and homosexuality so that needs to go too.

Swipe left for the next trending thread