School banning banter

Yes definitely ban banter. It’s often used as a way of displaying social hierarchy amongst boys. Deeply unhelpful in school environment where it’s hard for kids to avoid. Save it for free time. Let them jostle for precedence over each other then. At school best to foster the level playing field approach and keep the popularity politics well out of the way of learning. Plenty of time to ‘banter’ amongst themselves out of school if they so choose.

We live in Ireland and it’s called ‘slagging’. It’s just a polite name for emotional bullying IMO. It’s always at someone’s expense who usually feels humiliated, embarrassed and helpless to stop it. I think this is a great move forward!

The ‘banter’ used by men in male dominated working environments is really a form of bullying. It starts with boys. This is a good move by the school.

We need to teach our kids the difference between banter and bullying, and banning banter isn't going to do that. My workplace thrives on banter, but we're comfortable enough to mention it when it crosses the line.

Over a 30 year career I have seen too much casual misogyny explained away as “harmless” banter. It’s not harmless banter its casual bullying and can be the thin end of a wedge. the school are right to have the conversation with the children , the 4 strikes and you are out however shouldn’t be in relation to defined banter but to the underlying problem - bullying/ racism / homophobia etc

Well that's good that you can manage your classroom well. There's zero chance of ever having classes in silence and I'm not suggesting that. There's definitely a balance needed but I don't think my son's school have got it right and behaviour is an issue.

Fine line between bullying and banter and disruption and banter if you ask me. Hard for those students with behavioural problems to grasp nuance too.

Autistic people are well aware of what they have to tolerate and as parents of course we're constantly supporting them to cope in a neurotypical world, but I'm not telling him to put up with bullying or disruption to his learning and I won't accept it either.

It feels like the quiet minority are the casualties of tolerating laddish banter and poor disruptive behaviour. I'm fed up with it I'm afraid and think this new focus is interesting and has merit.

I think this is probably pretty sensible if it's during school time.

Kids need discipline. Piss taking is all very well and part of being British imo but kids need to know when it is and is not appropriate

Context is everything, it really depends upon what is said as to whether the banter is acceptable and of course we all have different opinions. I believe that once we start policing one to one conversations we have a problem as people have a right to express their own views.

If you cant communicate without bants, you're a shit communicator

oh yes we do...its just that free speech, like every other freedom, has consequences.

No, I'd call them hate speech and I would presume that a well run school identified them as such and dealt with them appropriately.

He was angelic for the rest of the lesson. He'll probably need prompting in the future, but he knows the boundaries of what is and what isn't acceptable.

I also have an autistic child and we work hard at him having to get used to "annoying" people in the classroom, as that's what real life is like and he needs to learn to tolerate it.

All kids are different and learn in different ways. An autistic child's silent lesson with hands raised and no background chatter is many kids idea of awful and would make them feel uncomfortable.

It's about trying to strike a balance between respect, fun, humour etc...

Some parts of my lessons are quiet and serious discussions with hands raised only, other parts we have a good laugh and it can be quite loud.

@TwinklyAmberOrca I can see how that benefits the pupil in question, but does he get the message not to do it again? I feel for autistic kids like my son who are totally stressed out by low level disruption and poor behaviour and then have the excuse of 'bants' when they are bullied too. It's not banter if one person doesn't understand and is upset by it.

My son is not learning anything in some classes because of this disruptive behaviour.

I think it's difficult to be relaxed and jokey like this while giving pupils clear boundaries.

I can imagine that they mean the sort of ‘banter’ that verges on bullying and is defended as mere teasing, even though it can be fully intended to hurt.

In my day you were told to stop being so sensitive, you ‘need your corners knocked off’, - ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, words can never hurt me’, etc.

I would hope that attitudes have changed.

I guess one example would be the other day when a teenager who likes being centre of attention and a "lad" was being a little overly chatty, so I said that as he loves being the centre of attention, then he could use his voice to show how the pitch and volume of the sound changed and sing for us. Obviously he didn't want to so I asked was it because he had a voice like a toad being strangled. It was all light hearted and jokey and an opportunity to remind him that if he wasn't so keen to participate, perhaps he could stop interrupting.

The alternative would have been him having his name multiple times on the board for his interruptions and irrelevant comments and him being sent to the isolation room on the third interruption.

With some kids "banter" and keeping things light and jokey can be the difference in them remaining in the classroom and learning something rather than being removed and missing out on education.

I know the kids I teach well and use relevant strategies to get them to do the right thing.

The whole point of banter is it being light hearted and between people who know each other well so no offence is ever intended.

Banter would not happen between two people that don't know each other that well. It wouldn't be banter, rather bullying, and that's fair enough to stop and punish.

Words such as retard, spastic, puff, gay, slut, slag, whore or racial slurs. Even behaviour such as wetting girls shirts so boys can see their bras - this happens. I don’t think my prejudice or opinion really comes into it. We all know it isn’t right. You wouldn’t get away with that in the workplace or in Asda or Morrisons. It should be no different in a school. We have a duty of care to teach children right from wrong and that also includes the language they use.

@GrouachMacbeth I would assume they would be mainly targeting racist, homophobic, disablist and misogynistic banter. Would you call those a teacher’s prejudice?

Have they defined "banter", or does it rely on a teachers option/ prejudices?

It does yeah. They’re also doing it within their friendship group who all share the same humour. It is self deprecating humour, Brits are experts at it. This humour (I’m going to call it that instead of banter as that is what people are getting caught up on) used by some boys in schools is often directed at girls outside their friendship group and vulnerable students. It often goes unreported and therefore that’s why the school are highlighting it as an issue that won’t be tolerated.

I suppose its the context of the banter being used. My son and his friends, all Deaf, when at school would be 'to an outsider' quite offensive and disabilist to each other using their Deafness . But if another person non deaf was to do the same, then that would be unacceptable.
Not sure if that makes sense or not?

My children's high school banned it years ago but it's hard to police and of course still goes on. I think the main idea is to make kids think what about what they say and saying something as a joke isn't always harmless.

It is insulting to gay people though as your friend would be suggesting there is something wrong with looking gay but also how does someone look gay? It is based on stereotypes.

I am gay. I grew up hearing all of those kind of comments and was therefore terrified of being myself. Dyke cut etc. It may be “banter” to you because you’re a heterosexual. It isn’t banter to someone struggling with their sexuality who can hear it. You don’t need to put down other groups to make someone else laugh. It is very damaging in schools for teenage boys who may be struggling with their sexuality when the words puff or queer or gay are constantly used as negatives.

But if someone is offended by someone commenting on their new hair cut then it’s not banter.

People shouldn’t be able to use banter as an excuse to insult or bully. People shouldn’t throw around words like gay as a joke or an insult.

Completely agree. Unfortunately some of the posters don’t seem to understand the issue and are seeing it as school’s stopping humour or laughter in general. They are not seeing that “banter” is code name for offensive and derogatory language. They are probably the same people stating LTB when these boys grow into men who are abusive/unkind/offensive/lazy. But no, we are just easily offended! Boils my blood to be honest.

I'd not class any of those as either. Calling someone fatty or gay is insulting, if done multiple times could certainly be bullying.

Below is the definition of banter. As you can see the distinction is 'good-humoured'. If I had a friend who I knew well and she commented on my new haircut and called me gay, it would be banter. She know's I'm not gay, she would have said it in a jokey way.

banter /băn′tər/

noun
Good-humored, playful, or teasing conversation.
The act of bantering; joking or jesting; humorous or good-humored raillery; pleasantry.
Similar: pleasantry
Good humoured, playful, typically spontaneous conversation.