School banning banter

Sorry OP, but they might speak differently when they're not with you. Also, there are other folk in the school so it's not just about DS and his friends.

My work place without banter would be miserable as hell. If the c**t word hasn’t been used or directed at someone or everyone within the first hour on shift, something is up.

Banter is not bullying. It’s very different and is often how people bond. Offence is taken, not given.

It isn't.
It's a form of bullying, most of the time.

Banter is all too often code for bullying, or for really grossly offensive jokes
And yes, we can do without those.

They're not banning normal sense or humour, or even mildly sarcastic comments.

And yes, everything to do with controlling bullying is based on the perspective of the recipient of the action/comment, not those dishing them out. It's the same basis as diversity issues - so for example it's the minority communities who say when something is unacceptable to be said/done to or around them; not the people who are saying/doing it

@stripybobblehat

neither would a lot of things. Totally irrelevant.

banning genuine banter is ridiculous. Expecting a level of decent behaviour isn't. We managed banter without being OTT
, but that was in an era where we weren't 'offended' by someone else breathing I suppose.

sorry for the accidental double-posting

Banning 'banter' in school/ on school transport = fine. That's their decision - potentially a good strategy to prevent bullying. In most workplaces, there are limits as to what is considered acceptable behaviour/ language/ 'jokes'.

What happens within your own family/ house is up to you. If two siblings attend the same school, the school cannot reasonably control how they treat each other at home. However your DS isn't related to these friends, and you don't know how they/ their parents will react to 'bantz', so it's probably a good time for him to learn to be more considerate and less of a piss-taker, and think before he speaks.

Daft question here and I know no sensible parent would do this but here goes
Have you actually spoken to the school to find out why or have you just taken your kids word for gospel and being the sensible adult you are jumped on a bandwagon with only half the information

If its genuinely good natured banter between friends then its not going to be reported is it. Its only when its an issue that it becomes an issue. It may make kids think more about what they say.

In my workplace a lot of “banter” would be classified as offensive and we’ve all had active bystander training to speak up against these micro- aggressions. I was a bit eye rolly at first but it’s really tamped down on the “male banter” of showing each other smut on phones with accompanying commentary. I always thought it was a bit off but not directed at me or any other colleagues so didn’t feel I could raise it as it’s just “banter”. Possibly teach them that banter is for outside of school.

In my workplace a lot of “banter” would be classified as offensive and we’ve all had active bystander training to speak up against these micro- aggressions. I was a bit eye rolly at first but it’s really tamped down on the “male banter” of showing each other smut on phones with accompanying commentary. I always thought it was a bit off but not directed at me or any other colleagues so didn’t feel I could raise it as it’s just “banter”. Possibly teach them that banter is for outside of school.

I think it's also making a statement about casual homophobia or racism and (please) misogyny not being tolerated.

Then ban things that are offensive and insulting - not all banter is like that.

Between friends is ridiculous, that's often how groups of lads communicate. They need to realise the difference between banter and bullying and if it is banter I can't see the police being remotely interested.

I'm assuming they are saying you can't use 'it's banter' to justify something that was experienced as offensive or abusive by those on the receiving end or by those overhearing if its generally considered offensive and discriminatory. They wa g the children to think about what they are saying more. I guess quietly in a group of friends you might say things not quite OK, so its about knowing your audience and not expecting others to let it go. I think it's a good thing but poor teachers policing it.

Nail on the head! Banter is basically a bully's opportunity to bully and get away with it. Good on the school for taking a stand!

So many kids are bullied and then the bully will say 'calm down it's only banter'. I think banning it makes it clear. Everyone knows where they stand. No gray areas

I’ve heard teens “banter” and mostly it’s nasty, offensive and insulting. It often leads to an escalation and fights. The school are trying to avoid this.

Banter between friends is just the British way of communicating. I agree banning it between groups who the school feels aren't linked/friendly is a sensible precaution but between friends is a bit much.

Banter is often another way of bullying imho. If the school feel the need to ban it then there must have been issues of some sort.

I suppose on it's hard to say when banter stops being banter and starts being mean. Nobody knows how the "banter" is effecting the person it's directed at. I get offended by banter easier than other people and it really annoys me, I really wish I didn't! 🙈 But on the other hand this is going to contribute to the overall problem we have of young people being protected from any form of negativity and then going into adult life with little to no resilience or ability to stand up for themselves because they never had to. (Not that I think bullying should be used to teach this but hopefully you know what I mean by this).

All it takes is one comment too far and someone is annoyed, could lead to someone being upset or could lead to a physical altercation then! It has obviously been risen as a problem by some students.