School banning banter

As it’s subjective I think they should be teaching how to assert oneself and say when something is offensive to them (when receiving bants) , and how to listen and accept that and apologise when called out on it (when giving bants)

To enforce a ban, they have to be aware it's happening. So a group bantering harmlessly amongst themselves, not in a lesson, won't be on the radar. It will apply to banter that is disruptive, or which provokes complaints.

So taking that to its conclusion if I found the word cunt to be offensive, which I do, then as this is normalised in the work place I should not raise a concern. In addition it would be my fault as I had "taken offence"? How does that support an inclusive workplace?

I see "it was just bantz" as the direct descendant of "Can't you take a joke?"

I suspect this is off the back of the latest amendments to Keeping Children Safe in Education policy.

A lot of ‘banter’, even these days, has homophobic, racist and increasingly misogynist edge to it.

It’s not about banning banter so much as about really encouraging kids to think about what they’re saying.

They will ban every friendly interaction between any group of friends but ignore your kid getting beaten up

Phew I'm glad it will only be the lads being pulled up on it because I don't know how me and my sister in law will communicate with each other without it lol

Interested in how this will work with teenage girls. I've seen some pretty nasty bullying via casual but viciously cruel critique which the smirking, simpering little Madams who delivered it "never meant to offend" with. They knew perfectly well what they were doing. Rarely in the context of lad style "bantz" but just as problematic.

How to strip all the fun out of life! It's so sad that people have lost the ability to laugh at themselves.

All through school and every place I've worked thankfully I've always been with teams who have had a laugh, and a lot of that is being able to laugh at oneself and situations. It doesn't involve being mean to anyone.
There is a huge difference between a gentle bit of 'poking fun' and tormenting/bullying someone.

I feel so sad for you DS and his mates that can't grow up having a bit of fun. How awful that they practically can't say anything about someone else for fear of it being misconstrued. Laughter is good for the soul, what are they supposed to laugh about?

I actually think ‘banter’ has a lot to answer for in propagating the ‘lads lads lads’ culture we see far too much of in fully grown adult men. You see it on trains, sporting events, in the streets, in pubs. Loud, rude adult men who think it’s acceptable to occupy more space than they should and bother other people their voices and overbearing behaviour.

Accepting what we low level call ‘banter’ is really what this behaviour is and certainly where is starts. I, for one, am tired of it and glad to hear that boys are hopefully going to be pulled up on it.

'Banter' at their age can often include calling each other 'fatty', 'shorty', or 'gay' which, even in jest, is not ok. Perhaps not your son and his friends, but I suspect that however lovely they are, this sort of thing happens out of parents' earshot and is still very common. So I've voted yabu, having had similar discussions with ds's school (Y9) who are desperately trying to de-normalise this terminology. Boys in particular seem prone to this kind of talk and it's time that boys realised it's unacceptable. My advice would be to support the school and send a clear message that there's a very fine line between 'bantz' and offensive, so it's best to say nothing if you cannot say something nice.

Same at my DC secondary school. Hard to get any replies from anyone let alone the head.

Well the teachers will be busy trying to enforce that. Completely unrealistic

Well if they're talking of police they don't mean actual banter - they mean hate speech dressed up as banter.

Likewise, its a peculiarly British method of communication to be insulting to those who are your close mates - those from overseas often don't understand at all!

In effect the school are potentially asking the year 11s not to talk at all!

And the police are going to be ever so interested in this - if anything the head teacher will be getting a talking to about wasting police time.

Usually what people excuse as banter is sexiest, homophobic, ageist, racist etc

I've been seriously bullied under the guise of it being "banter"
And unable to articulate that it's bullying because it's "banter" and "everyone does it"

Just email the head, I find it hard to believe the school 'doesn't reply'.

@Citrusblast92u

They're a lovely bunch of lads, very polite and kind but their main form of communication with each other is piss taking.

Do you know that every member of the group sees all of it as harmless?

Only fools use the sowflake term, so I wouldn't worry about that.

Years ago I read about research that shows when standards around respectful language are articulated and enforced, everyone feels safer and other harassment/bullying issues reduce.

The school are trying something rather positive I think. You can make jokes without resorting to 'bantz'. If your child can't, then that is something to address. Banter isn't usually funny and often indicates low level bullying.

The police won't even attend break ins, they aren't going to give a shit about this.

Your child and friends obviously aren't being offensive to each other or those around them what is it that you think they should be doing at school which falls under the banned definition of bantz?