Making packed lunch

I also think if you don't have time to do it, it's perfectly reasonable that you don't @Crystallizedring . 4 is a difficult age as it is without the additional needs added in!

If someone else needs a packed lunch and I'm making my own, I will make an extra one

My adult son is living with us at the moment and he plays cricket on a Sunday and needs a packed lunch - he more than happily does his own but if I'm up and making breakfast, I will make him one

Just as Dp makes me a coffee every morning even if he isn't having one

I think it's the little things you do for each other that can make relationships!

Own laundry here
Otherwise it's a huge job for one person
Got sick of things being dumped in the wash whilst tidying.
They need to learn how to do it , be responsible for it, washing and putting away.

Packed lunches I love doing
On MN its a bloody crime to do something nice for others
Yes they are perfectly capable of cooking etc
I liked doing it and gasp I liked cooking them breakfast as well.

That's my take on it too. Looking at the chaos caused by everyone trying to get through the bathroom, having that chaos at the fridge door too would be unbearable.

There was a time when I did do pack ups for everyone but I made them as I cooked dinner so it was no bother. It was chopped salad with protein, lots of ingredients. When DS went to secondary school he sorted himself out and ended up running a small food business selling to friends at school as well.

My DC are16,14 and 11. I make the sandwiches/wraps/pasta salad but they get the rest of their packed lunch together. 16yo now mainly gets their own as they’ve just started sixth form so they’re enjoying the novelty of going out of school at lunch.

If I was making a packed lunch for myself, it was just as easy to make sandwiches for everyone, and minimal effort to throw other stuff into lunchboxes at the same time.

I read threads like this, and I'm mystified. I envisage a queuing system in peoples' kitchens so everyone can take their turn to make their own, because mum or dad "refuses" to do it for others. Makes no sense to me.

I get the impression some people think the "make their own" posters are just sitting around with their feet up.

DDs are the only people in the house that need packed lunch. They do it in the evening while I'm doing something like clearing up dinner things, or working. The house "rule" is that the more we work together, the more fun time we all have.

At the same time, I do think making their own lunch gives them a bit of autonomy... choosing a wrap vs pasta vs bread, or cheese vs ham vs chicken, whether to have cucumber or carrot sticks, or apple vs grapes...

If mine was only just in secondary I'd still make them. But getting on age probably 14 they could do it themselves. College absolutely not. If your DH is making his own I don't see it much of an issue to make x3 instead of x1 though. I suppose similar that they could all help one another and take turns.

Another mean mum here. My DD is only 5 so I do hers but we take in a teen every year to learn English and they have to make their own. I stand over them for the first couple of weeks to review what's going in and I bring them to the supermarket to choose sandwich fillings, fruit and yogurt.

We have household jobs not individual jobs. When it comes to meals we eat together. I don't want to encourage someone to sort themselves out to the exclusion of the others. Maybe when both my dc are at secondary then they can take it in turns to sort the pack lunches. For now I tend to make a pile of sarnies whilst doing something else, they get wrapped up and then the earlier part if the weeks sandwiches are done. Dc can then assemble their own lunch. I include my secondary age DS in this.

But irs neither reasonable nor unreasonable its just how you organise chores.

Dd is in the last year of primary and has been making her own lunch since 2020 when she refused to eat the free school meals during covid (as there was no hot meal option and the cold option was rubbish) I said she could have packed lunches but the deal was she made it herself. She's never gone back to school meals even though they are free in Scotland apart from the last 2 years of primary so that just remained the deal. I'd certainly not be making for a high school age child unless there is asn or as another currently running thread - a 17 year old with a previous eating disorder. That's fair to make sure they are getting a meal they will eat but otherwise definitely should be doing it themselves!

Mine made theirs from 12, in fact my youngest asked for for her lunch money as a monthly allowance and rather than buy food at school she bought ingredients and made lunches to take, much fancier than sandwiches!

My DC used to help make their packed lunches at primary school, once they went to high school I left it up to them to do their own, obviously I would buy suitable things to include - they also had a monthly allowance on a school meals payment card which was the equivalent of one meal a week or 2-3 days toast or similar for when they overslept/forgot/couldnt be bothered! If they’d spent it all too son then they would just go
hungry

I do packed lunches for the following day at lunch time. I make for DH, DS17, DS14 and younger ones get FSMs. It's not a hardship if making for several at once. I don't mind.

I must admit I do make my DS16's lunch but I'm happy to do it and he appreciates it. He's pretty busy getting ready in the mornings and I have the time so I don't mind. He does lots of good things and helps so he's not lazy.

My dds have been making their packed lunches since Year 5. They wouldn’t have the school dinners an we both worked. The deal was, if they weren’t going to have the school lunch they’d make their own.

I never packed lunches for my kids once they were secondary age, but only because after that they always bought lunch. That is UNTIL covid. My youngest's last year in school was 2020-2021 and lunches were so crazy with all the covid rules that he prefered just bringing a packed lunch. So yes, I packed his lunch for him during his last year of school when he was 17. I've never packed my husband's lunch though.

Made them for mine until they were approx 8 and 10 (junior school). I was floored with a really nasty bout of flu for well over a week and they chipped in and made their own lunches then with DH supervising. I never restarted as they were perfectly capable, unless doing them a favour as running late or needed to be in extra, early etc.

Making own lunch developed into managing own budget later on... Once at about y9 secondary they got an allowance rather than pocket money - this was to cover any school lunches they wanted, social life outside the clubs we paid for, half of friend's birthday presents, extra clothes over and above the school uniform plus casual and smart clothes we thought they needed. I always had plenty of options bought in for packed lunch, and they could request packed lunch items to be added to the shopping. Both mostly chose to save their cash for extras outside school, but sometimes had a school lunch on a Friday, or an occasional chippy lunch once in sixth form and allowed off the premesis at lunchtime. We were one of the closest homes to the school in both DC friendship groups, so I'd often get in to a dining room full of students eating lunch, drinking our coffee and working - DC often had a free before or after lunch so chose to come home to eat and study.

My daughter decided she wanted a packed lunch in p5 so she has done it since then. She gives us a list (we get our groceries delivered) to add to the regular shop and packs the same thing every day by choice.

My son is p4 now and wants to pack so we are letting him do it twice a week for now. He will have our help the first few weeks and then it's his responsibility (though we will try to remind him and make sure he does it).

My husband and I both work full time and I usually leave before anyone else in the morning so I'm not adding anything to my list!

I've never known pack lunches to be routinely given to kids over about 14. Of course they can just make a roll, grab some fruit and crisps so really at secondary age they should do their own.

But some people like making lunches for kids and partners, if they're doing their own. Or just to be nice. But you certainly shouldn't feel obliged.

I quite like making sandwiches and stuff but as noone works or goes to school I only really make them if someone's going out for the day or away overnight/on holiday. Not that they would expect me to.

I hate making packed lunches and stopped when mine went to secondary school.

why mean? They may not be capable of cooking, but at least they can manage a sandwich.

I think it’s great for your DDs’ independence and learning to do things for themselves. Good for you!