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Original poster

Ghosting a good friend because of grossness

87 replies

Woopdoggysycamosiy · 09/09/2024 20:09

I don't like ghosting- had it done to me and I've done it to others but never a good friend. However, I now find myself gradually distancing from a friend who is great in every way...apart from she really grosses me out! I know this sounds very childish and like I should get over it but it really affects my wanting to spend time with her. Basically she will sit there scratching her ear, then inspect whatever has come out of it, then flick it away! Sometimes onto my sofa or floor. Or she scratches her head, pulls off a scabby bit, pulls it out of her hair then flicks that away. Her fingernails are filthy. Apart from that she is the loveliest person and fun to be with until I started noticing this and it's constant. I mean, every time I see her. What do I do?

Good friends are precious- get over it (and here's how...)= you are being unreasonable

Yep- that's disgusting and I'm going to suggest what to do about it = you are not being unreasonable

OP posts:
bergamotorange · 09/09/2024 20:29

Woopdoggysycamosiy · 09/09/2024 20:21

I'm not cool or grown up enough to have a conversation about it. She's a good friend but I can't imagine saying this to her and it going well. I'm scared of hurting her feeling or going for a 'light hearted' tone but not managing it 😂 and it coming out just as if I'm totally disgusted by it. Which I am.

You are scared of hurting her feelings??? But willing to ghost her which is cruel???

Seriously, ghosting is awful. You don't care about her feelings if you're considering it.

Shmee1988 · 09/09/2024 20:28

If it was me, next time she did it I would honestly just say 'mate thats gross. You have got to stop doing that.' That'd be enough for anyone of my close friends to nip it in the bud. Dont ghost her, it's cruel.

Original poster
Woopdoggysycamosiy · 09/09/2024 20:25

westisbest1982 · 09/09/2024 20:22

Grow up. It’s so cowardly to ghost.

Agreed. What would you actually honestly do in this situation though? I'm sure you can think of a friend of yours who, if you called them out on this, would be mortified. Can't quite imagine the 'oh yeah, we'd both laugh about it HA ha' outcome.

OP posts:
Woollypullover · 09/09/2024 20:24

Ghosting is despicable.

westisbest1982 · 09/09/2024 20:22

Grow up. It’s so cowardly to ghost.

Original poster
Woopdoggysycamosiy · 09/09/2024 20:21

I'm not cool or grown up enough to have a conversation about it. She's a good friend but I can't imagine saying this to her and it going well. I'm scared of hurting her feeling or going for a 'light hearted' tone but not managing it 😂 and it coming out just as if I'm totally disgusted by it. Which I am.

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 09/09/2024 20:16

Why would you jump to ghosting instead of having a conversation like an adult? Stopping talking to someone without even having the courtesy to say why is incredibly childish and rude. You've been at the receiving end, you should know this.

bergamotorange · 09/09/2024 20:15

I would mention it in a light-hearted way. Or meet in cafes so it's not your problem.

I wouldn't ghost a good friend unless for a serious misdemeanor, it's cruel. You could wreck her self-esteem, you should either talk to her or tolerate it.

Lucyccfc68 · 09/09/2024 20:13

Why don’t you just say something next time she does it?

Very good friend of mine had an issue with really stinky feet a few years ago and it used to make me gag when she came in my house and took her shoes off and the smell lingered in my carpets once she had gone. It really was vile. I told her about it - politely - but asked her was she aware of the smell from her feet.

Pantaloons99 · 09/09/2024 20:12

LissaGa · 09/09/2024 20:11

Ugh that's made me feel sick 😞If she's a good friend, can't you talk to her about her revolting personal habits?

If a good friend of mine did this I would absolutely say ' ah man, what you doing? I just saw that blob of ear wax fly off your finger ' and we'd laugh. I'd expect the same.

LissaGa · 09/09/2024 20:11

Ugh that's made me feel sick 😞If she's a good friend, can't you talk to her about her revolting personal habits?

Pantaloons99 · 09/09/2024 20:10

Has she always been this way? I imagine she has so what changed for you?

I get it's gross. I'm just curious what flipped it when habits like this tend to be ingrained and don't just pop up.