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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He just compared me to other people!

34 replies

Cappuccinowithonesugarplease · 09/09/2024 18:41

I will keep this short because I'm so angry and upset.
Before I start I will mention that DP is on the spectrum and I have adhd tendencies.

We have a few fruit trees so I decided to make some jam. Now I have a tendency to be messy when I'm cooking or baking and DP knows it, so I'm halfway through making the jam and he walked in and mentioned that I had dripped jam on the kitchen floor and there was jam on the cooker splash back where it had been boiling. Now at this point I was just laughing about it as he does struggle to have a filter on what he is saying and tends to just blurt out his thoughts, he also has ocd.
What really has given me the rage tonight is that he went on to say 'well how Come those youtubers don't make mess and my mum has made jam for years and never made a mess like this'
At this point I was just like 'well this is who I am if you don't like it then tough!'
So he goes off in a huff saying I have an attitude 😒

Anyway by this point I'm so angry I stormed after him saying I'm not tolerating being compared to and he has now stormed out of the house calling me a drama queen.

We've been together 13 years and have 2 DC 6 and 2.

He has a lot of other redeeming qualities but I don't think I can accept being compared to!
AIBU?

OP posts:
Skyrainlight · 09/09/2024 18:57

You are being a drama queen. Just tell him you'll clean up the mess when you are done and move on.

Original poster
Cappuccinowithonesugarplease · 09/09/2024 18:57

Sirzy · 09/09/2024 18:48

You’re being dramatic!

to be honest I would be pissed off if I went into the kitchen and someone had jam over the floor - that’s an accident waiting to happen!

It was a few tiny spots not a saucepans worth!

OP posts:
LauritaEvita · 09/09/2024 18:54

I think it’s normal and reasonable to point out that someone has spilt something on the floor if they don’t seem to have noticed (ie aren’t doing anything about it). If it was just the splash back, I would have said ‘yeah I’m still making but will clear up once I’m done’.

Original poster
Cappuccinowithonesugarplease · 09/09/2024 18:51

TheActualAudacity · 09/09/2024 18:45

Massive overreaction on your part. I’d have shrugged and said something like ‘I’ll be clearing it up, fret not’. And cracked on with my jam making.

I mean of course it would get cleaned up after I wouldn't just leave it, but it's the instant negativity when I'm trying to do something productive.

OP posts:
holju · 09/09/2024 18:49

He was a little bit tactless but I don't think I could get worked up about it, unless this is a drip feed and he does this sort of thing on a regular basis.

Sirzy · 09/09/2024 18:48

You’re being dramatic!

to be honest I would be pissed off if I went into the kitchen and someone had jam over the floor - that’s an accident waiting to happen!

TheActualAudacity · 09/09/2024 18:45

Massive overreaction on your part. I’d have shrugged and said something like ‘I’ll be clearing it up, fret not’. And cracked on with my jam making.

fourelementary · 09/09/2024 18:44

Little bit of an overreaction? I’d just say- you don’t see them actually making the jam every step of the way, nor did you likely watch your mum make it… so they probably did or do make a bit of a mess now and then. Or maybe you’re a bit of a messy cook- some people are. But I don’t see the huge deal about being “compared”…

Leafygreen84 · 09/09/2024 18:43

Sorry but I agree that you’ve been a drama queen. I don’t think what he was was particularly nasty or that much of a big deal. You’re messy, he’s not, it irritates each other. That’s part and parcel of life?

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