On the verge of divorce over relocating AIBU?

My partner is constantly suggesting that we move somewhere cause we could buy a house with cash or minimal mortgage. Truth is that location matters. I'm not gonna leave my family, friends, job, hobbies, familiarity and city life to live in the ass end of nowhere just so we can buy with cash. You're not unreasonable to want to move and he's not unreasonable to want to stay. Location and lifestyle are huge factors for me. More than money. There is room for compromise but asking someone to leave where they have settled down for "no reason" is a lot to ask. I personally don't understand people who just pick up and move, cause that just isn't for me.

Maybe talk with him about making the application and just seeing what comes up in a few years time and whether it fits the bill then or not. In the meantime life continues as normal.

Being "on the verge of divorce" over this indicates that there are other problems in the marriage which perhaps need looking at.

TBF he’s no more pig headed than you. He can’t see your POV and you can’t see his. A disagreement isn’t any one person’s fault.

I think this one of those things where there isn’t a reasonable/unreasonable as such. I have a 7 year, old and I personally wouldn’t want to move him from everything he’s ever known. For me (and maybe your husband) a slightly bigger house, wouldn’t be ‘enough’ of a reason. Other people will say they have moved their children at that age, and it’s been the making of them. I don’t think there’s a wrong.

Is it just not wanting to leave his parents? Or could have other concerns? Have you looked at some potential issues he may be concerned about, and looked for solutions?

What would it mean for his work? Would he need to look for a new job? Is that an option or would it require long commute? Same for your business? Could you keep it going, or would you need to start again? Could you manage financially if he needed to look for new work and / or you had to recruit new clients?
In for year your eldest will be secondary school age. Could he be concerned about them having to move schools within the first half term.
You say you both love the countryside, but living there is different. Could he have concerns around that?
Do his parents provide support beyond housing? Is he worried about losing that? I know your sister will be there, but presumably she’s working/busy herself. Is your husband worried about how you’ll both cope.
I'm wondering if you can acknowledge some potential problems, he might be more open to discussion.

How far away would you want to move? What does countryside mean? Would it mean a complete overhaul on your lifestyle?

Did you not post this same thing recently?

Difficult situation.

I can see why you want to do this. But I can also see that he would like to stay living down the road from his parents.

They'd probably do better to just give you the house and let you do with it what you want. It seems odd applying for social housing when his parents have a spare house that you are actually living in.

DH’s parents are lovely but they are absolute control freaks and are always very involved in our lives whether we want them to be or not, and they do so much for us (childcare, the house!)
You can't have it both ways. If they are heavily involved with childcare then they are going to be heavily involved in it all. Especially if their son is okay with that. If you feel resentful of their involvement then find alternative childcare.

If you move who will be doing the childcare since the PIL won't be able to help? Will there be a job for DH similar in hours and commute/pay, or better prospects? Will you be able to find enough clients in a short time for yourself?

No advice. There's actually never really a right answer in these situations when people want different things.