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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is so wrong but also quite funny at the same time

88 replies

littleredbumblebee · 09/09/2024 10:05

We went to DHs aunt and uncles for DHs uncles birthday last night for a meal. His uncle is known for being very uptight and anti kids so we did not take DS (he is also a bit poorly after having chicken pox) so my mum came to look after him.

Any way we got there and there were two tables set out. One for adults and one for kids. Turns out the kids table for us and DHs other cousins some of whom are married some of whom are not but we are all over the age of 30!!!

We were told to not make a fuss by DHs mum as we know how the uncle is so we all sat on this kids table trying not to laugh. While the “real growns ups” sat together. We all got smaller potions as well. We did takeaway on the way home.

So wrong yet I keep laughing when I think about it and DH and I laughed all the way home. God knows where he would have put DS if we had brought him. Maybe in the garage

OP posts:

rumblegrumble · 09/09/2024 20:16

Aw, I'd love that, I miss the kids table! Did you get jelly and ice cream?!

Toomanyemails · 09/09/2024 20:08

littleredbumblebee · 09/09/2024 19:49

Sorry not been back been out all day and only just got in. We were told it was the kids table and who had to sit there. It’s was an indoor bbq type but DHs uncle always plates up for everyone (I know I know) and we on the kids table got smaller amounts to eat.
My DH is also not allowed red wine as he spilt some on there carpet when he was 18. He is now 42

Was it the kids' table as in, you are all the children of the older generation in the family, so they seated each generation together? That sounds normal and I can see this being a harmless quip but your uncle sounds a bit unusual! I absolutely relate to your DH being branded for life for the spill 😂

Sheelanogig · 09/09/2024 20:02

Oh OP, bet you 'children' couldn't make eye contact for fear of giggling loudly.

You've reminded me of my grandparents parties. Grown ups at one table and at a little table with little chairs were the children with my lovely Grandad who would eat with us, 'supervising us' on a little chair.

As the elder children hit their teens they'd graduate up to the grown up table but Grandad always remained with the little ones. Guests from outside the family must have thought we were bonkers.

nOasistickets · 09/09/2024 19:52

Sorry im confused, your uncle made you sit at the kids table and served you kids portions? And this is funny? Or..? Was this some family joke or something?

Original poster

littleredbumblebee · 09/09/2024 19:52

Everyone has always laughed about this uncle and his ways. They put up with him for the sake of DHs aunt who is lovely. Got the amount of time we see them it’s not worth upsetting him and he will be grumpy with DHs aunty for ages

OP posts:

Original poster

littleredbumblebee · 09/09/2024 19:50

And he hates me asking for it because I am epileptic. He dare not say no though or he would look a total arsehole.

OP posts:

Original poster

littleredbumblebee · 09/09/2024 19:49

OP posts:

MidYearDiary · 09/09/2024 12:02

NiceCutRoundDomeDormice · 09/09/2024 11:54

But the whole point of the story is that it’s weird. Otherwise it’s just a meal where people were spread across two tables.

Show quote history

Yes, and it would be perfectly natural to seat the generations together. I know I'd rather sit with my cousins than my parents' generation at a big family get-together because I see them far less often. So in fact it was just two tables, one of younger adults, and one of older adults. Not a little plastic kiddie table with watered-down squash and balloon animals.

And yes, if the 'young' table really thought its portions were meagre, was it not possible to ask for a second helping? Speak up, adult people.

NiceCutRoundDomeDormice · 09/09/2024 11:54

Natwestbit · 09/09/2024 10:54

With different food served in smaller portions?? That's a bit difficult to understand isn't it?

Show quote history

But the whole point of the story is that it’s weird. Otherwise it’s just a meal where people were spread across two tables.

HeyPrestoAlakazam · 09/09/2024 11:49

armadillio · 09/09/2024 11:44

That’s awful. Did no one stand up for you? I’ve seen people try and treat older teens like nieces and nephews as the hired help at family events (whilst sparing their own teens) and I or the parent step in and extricate them.

Also, why were you expected to care for DGPs? Why not the older siblings?

Show quote history

I was the only single and childless one and hadn't got my career started when they first needed care as I was just about to graduate. Everyone else was "too busy" and they weren't expected to live as long as they did.

My parents tried to stick up for me but they were outnumbered. In the end I just stopped being available to attend family events, so they had to watch their own kids rather than use me as their skivvy. And none of them bothered to stay in touch.

armadillio · 09/09/2024 11:44

HeyPrestoAlakazam · 09/09/2024 10:16

I am the youngest in the family (siblings AND cousins).

I never graduated from the "children's table" and I became very frustrated about it, as did my parents. Being 25 and forced to sit on a table with 1-12 year olds was ridiculous. Most of my sibs and cousins are 10-20 years older.

I was the person who cared for my grandparents until their deaths and I arranged most of the funerals when I was 28/30. At their wakes and the family meals around this time, I was still being excluded from the "grown ups" conversations and I was very hurt. Whenever I'd try to contribute a comment, cousins and siblings would give me a sort of bemused look, like they were just humouring me then would get back to the "proper adult conversation". When others were drinking I was frequently offered a soft drink..."We have some Pepsi Max or Sprite in the fridge if you'd like Presto?"

I was used as a free babysitter at most family events for years, looking after the next generations while my siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles caught up and never involved me. I realised they didn't know me as an adult and had no interest in getting to know me as an adult. I was always going to be the "baby". I stopped making an effort with most of them ones my grandparents were gone. It was so rude and hurtful and I have to say I'm better off without them.

Also, why were you expected to care for DGPs? Why not the older siblings?

AgileGreenSeal · 09/09/2024 11:30

MrsWinkly · 09/09/2024 11:25

😂😂😂
Thank you for this, it's so funny!
I'm the youngest of all my siblings and 22 cousins so always felt as though people struggled to see me as an adult. 51 now and still feel like this at times!

EveryKneeShallBow · 09/09/2024 11:18

Weird. And not in a funny way.

Caroparo52 · 09/09/2024 11:13

Yup laughter the best medicine🤣

sweeneytoddsrazor · 09/09/2024 11:11

It didn't say different food it said smaller portions Which yes us a bit strange but then some people never quite get that their children are now fully fledged adults on a par with them. And on the flip side many adult children revert to the child/parent dynamic when the go to their parents house.

CleftChin · 09/09/2024 11:03

The kids table always has to be the kids table, even when you're adults.

I know there would have been MURDER if any of the (many married, with children of their own) 'children' had been allowed to sit at the 'adult' table at Christmas at my grandparents - so we all crammed in to the same spaces (extended into another room for the great-grand-children) just as we'd done since we were toddlers :)

jetbot · 09/09/2024 10:55

yep

so two tables…. older adults on one for younger adults

hilarious? more like relief that not sat with unpleasant people

MonsteraMama · 09/09/2024 10:55

That is an absolutely ludicrous level of pandering but I think I'd have found it hilarious too. Though I'd have been very tempted to ask MIL to help me cut my food into bite sized pieces 🙃

Natwestbit · 09/09/2024 10:54

sweeneytoddsrazor · 09/09/2024 10:52

Is it really so difficult to understand
Adult table - the aunt/uncle and their siblings
Kids table - children (albeit adult children) of the aunt/uncle and their siblings.

With different food served in smaller portions?? That's a bit difficult to understand isn't it?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 09/09/2024 10:52

Is it really so difficult to understand
Adult table - the aunt/uncle and their siblings
Kids table - children (albeit adult children) of the aunt/uncle and their siblings.

Just4thisthreadtoday · 09/09/2024 10:51

@littleredbumblebee

yep 😂🤣😂🤣is all you can do. Weird shit like this makes for good/funny memories when they're not around anymore!

jetbot · 09/09/2024 10:51

i’d have been relieved not to have sat in the same table as this uncle

jetbot · 09/09/2024 10:50

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 09/09/2024 10:46

It was at the aunt and uncle's house - presumably they were served up for them .

Show quote history

but there were no children there

so the op and her dh was seated at a table with all over thirties

and if they were all served to too small portions, then it baffling that not one of the adults didn’t ask for a little more if they wanted more

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 09/09/2024 10:46

tuvamoodyson · 09/09/2024 10:30

But you were with other adults? How did you end up with smaller portions?

It was at the aunt and uncle's house - presumably they were served up for them .

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