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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know what I am supposed to do now - childminder

37 replies

HairsprayBabe · 09/09/2024 09:57

My son is four and not of school age yet, he was supposed to start a new childminder today, three days a week until next September.

I got a vetted and recommended provider, I visited, I paid a £300 deposit, did all the paperwork to have her tell me last night that she has given up childminding and won't be taking him any more.

I am beyond baffled (on top of furious) that someone could just do this, all the nurseries and childminders are full in the area and I don't drive to be able to get him to another one.

I think she accidentally oversubscribed herself and hasn't quit at all - she lives walking distance and I am half tempted to stake out her house at drop off time to see WTAF is going on. Would this be unreasonable?

I am so stressed if I don't laugh I will cry.

OP posts:
FawnFrenchieMum · 09/09/2024 10:04

Ouch, that is stressful, assume she has given you your deposit back? Did you have a contract that required a certain level of notice, although not sure how that works with him not started.
Some nurseries might have children that have moved out of the area etc so would start ringing round and get his name down. Can he attend a school preschool, and wrap around as an option?

FuzzyDiva · 09/09/2024 10:03

Oh no, how awful and stressful. I think you need to get your child on the waiting list elsewhere or see whether anyone would be up for a nanny share.

Even if you find out she hasn’t quit, she isn’t obliged to take your child and has made it clear she doesn’t so I’m sure you wouldn’t want to now leave him with her.

HairsprayBabe · 09/09/2024 10:03

Has everyone lost the plot - I literally said if I don't laugh I will cry - I am obviously not intending to stake out her house.

OP posts:
PollyDactyl · 09/09/2024 10:03

Have you had your deposit returned? Chase that if not.

Put out a shout out on your local Facebook page asking for urgent recommendations for a childminder, explain let down last min but don't name the person. Hopefully you'll find someone swiftly.

SpiderGwen · 09/09/2024 10:03

So frustrating! You must be completely stuck at this last minute change. I hope you can find something suitable soon. Does school have any wraparound care? It’s not ideal at age 4, but might do in the meantime

offyoujollywelltrot · 09/09/2024 10:03

HairsprayBabe · 09/09/2024 10:00

@offyoujollywelltrot did you turn off your sarcasm detector this morning - I made a joke to make myself feel better, as evident by the last sentence of my post.

Please take one of my finest grips and clutch your pearls elsewhere.

Bollocks.

You asked if it was unreasonable. It is unreasonable. Get a grip.

KhakiShaker · 09/09/2024 10:02

As infuriating as it is, it’s her prerogative to do this. I’d be leaving her an appropriate review though! And I hope you’re getting your deposit back.

Didimum · 09/09/2024 10:02

How stressful. No, don’t go and stalk her house – just forget about it now, it can’t be helped.

Get on all the waiting lists you possibly can. Places come up. Were you meant to start work? Can you afford a nanny until you find something else?

FirstTimeHomeowner · 09/09/2024 10:01

This sucks, but do NOT stalk her house. It won't help.

Make sure you get your deposit back!

And then start again checking for places/make sure you're on every waiting list etc. What were you doing before for childcare?

Nursemumma92 · 09/09/2024 10:01

This is obviously very stressful and not ok that she let you know the night before he was due to start. But it is her perogative to give up childminding or turn down any business she feels she can't take on. The downside of childminders unfortunately. I would say YABU to stalk her house though!!

HairsprayBabe · 09/09/2024 10:00

@offyoujollywelltrot did you turn off your sarcasm detector this morning - I made a joke to make myself feel better, as evident by the last sentence of my post.

Please take one of my finest grips and clutch your pearls elsewhere.

OP posts:
offyoujollywelltrot · 09/09/2024 09:58

HairsprayBabe · 09/09/2024 09:57

My son is four and not of school age yet, he was supposed to start a new childminder today, three days a week until next September.

I got a vetted and recommended provider, I visited, I paid a £300 deposit, did all the paperwork to have her tell me last night that she has given up childminding and won't be taking him any more.

I am beyond baffled (on top of furious) that someone could just do this, all the nurseries and childminders are full in the area and I don't drive to be able to get him to another one.

I think she accidentally oversubscribed herself and hasn't quit at all - she lives walking distance and I am half tempted to stake out her house at drop off time to see WTAF is going on. Would this be unreasonable?

I am so stressed if I don't laugh I will cry.

You're talking about stalking her HOUSE?

What is wrong with you?