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Original poster

Upset about a wedding song

145 replies

Kaandii · 09/09/2024 09:40

So my girlfriend is a songwriter, before we met she would only write sad depressing songs. A few months into our relationship she wrote a new song for me that was the complete opposite of what she usually did, it was a happy love song all about how she feels about me and how I make her feel.
Fast forward a little to one of her friends getting married, the friend (female) wants my girlfriend to sing her down the aisle and the song she has decided on is this one, the one that was written specifically for me.
Am I wrong to be upset about this? Is it wrong to think that this is MY song? I will obviously be at the wedding and I just know it’s going to crush me and I don’t really know what to do about it.

OP posts:
VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 09/09/2024 10:32

It's not your song. It's her song, she wrote it, she gets to use it wherever and however she wants.

You don't get to claim ownership over someone else's artwork. Do you think the model for the Mona Lisa got to say "Oh it's lovely, you're only allowed to hang it in my house"?

DrummingMousWife · 09/09/2024 10:32

How about you ask her to marry you? Then you won’t feel jealous at someone else’s wedding.

MsLaiyla · 09/09/2024 10:32

Isn't every love song that's ever been written, written with someone in mind? Would that stop you identifying strongly with the words of a song? I think you are being ridiculous.

NewFriendlyLadybird · 09/09/2024 10:30

Blimey. If every ‘muse’ claimed ownership of every song or poem written about them we’d have no art at all.

Stop being an idiot.

anotherside · 09/09/2024 10:30

You could use these events as inspiration for a song

Jellyslothbridge · 09/09/2024 10:29

Surely your partner can write a new song especially for your wedding - perhaps by then you may have an albums worth by the then!

Hoppinggreen · 09/09/2024 10:29

Thepeopleversuswork · 09/09/2024 10:07

@Sethera

Have to disagree. I love the original version but the “Goodbye England’s Rose” makes me cringe. Elton took leave of his senses on this.

he wasn't the only one

HRCsMumma · 09/09/2024 10:28

You've given me the ick.
It's her song. Maybe you'll get another 'special song' when you're married.

ExtraOnions · 09/09/2024 10:28

Why am I reminded of the Vicar of Dibley “fantasy wedding scene”

tasha mccauley la GIF
ClockwiseHoneysuckle · 09/09/2024 10:27

Is it wrong to think that this is MY song?

Well, yes. It's her song. Is "Lady in Red" Chris de Burgh's song, or his wife's? Is "Hey Jude" a Lennon-McCartney song or Julian Lennon's? Should the subjects of those songs be able to dictate when the respective writers play them?

Nothing will take away from the fact that your girlfriend wrote this song for you. If it is played at your wedding, it will always have the extra special resonance that that gives. Remember that, and be happy for your friends at their wedding.

SallyWD · 09/09/2024 10:27

Surely many love songs played at weddings are written about someone else. It's fine. You don't own the song.

DeCaray · 09/09/2024 10:27

What a drip.

It's her song to do as she likes with it.

BIossomtoes · 09/09/2024 10:26

Oh dear.

Wineandcupcakes · 09/09/2024 10:24

Uricon2 · 09/09/2024 10:22

Carry on like this and you'll soon be the inspiration for a song about how she ditched the whiny needy unreasonable boyfriend.

This annoys me, the op could be male or female. Aren’t we passed this bullshit?

GreatMistakes · 09/09/2024 10:24

Sorry not to be more polite about this but your being fucking nuts.

To break it down:

  • It's her song, not yours.
  • Other people hearing it at a wedding doesn't take away from her feelings for you
  • I'd examine how proud you really are if you are being this possessive about words.
  • if you expressed this to me I think i would dump you for being so extremely sensitive and asking me not to sing my own song that it is a massive red flag for controlling behaviour.

I genuinely think you need help.

Wineandcupcakes · 09/09/2024 10:24

Wow that’s a whole level of drama llama I couldn’t be doing with. It is lovely if she sings it. It is still a song she wrote for you.

id consider what’s going on with you you’d behave like this.

Namechangeforcheese · 09/09/2024 10:23

LOL at the thought of a piece of music somehow being devalued by being played at an event.

AtYourOwnRisk · 09/09/2024 10:23

Grow up, OP. Do you think PJ Harvey threw a tantrum when Nick Cave sang ‘Into My Arms’ at Michael Hutchence’s funeral?

Uricon2 · 09/09/2024 10:22

Carry on like this and you'll soon be the inspiration for a song about how she ditched the whiny needy unreasonable boyfriend.

L0bstersLass · 09/09/2024 10:22

@Kaandii How is you being "crushed" going to manifest itself at this wedding? Will there be tears and associated drama?
If so, I suggest you don't go.
Someone else's wedding is not the place to cause a scene.
You need to have a long hard think about this.

KreedKafer · 09/09/2024 10:22

Kaandii · 09/09/2024 09:55

Ok so the thing is that it has been shared with all of our friends and family and I have no issue with that at all. I am super proud of her and have no desire to keep the song from anyone else.
I obviously love the song and it’s special to me so I had previously expressed some desire to have it as a potential wedding song for US. So it hurts that someone else wants to use it first.

Show quote history

If you carry on like this, I doubt there’s ever going to be a wedding for you.

Dotto · 09/09/2024 10:22

Are you actually engaged or are you just being a dog in a manger?

KreedKafer · 09/09/2024 10:21

Are you 13 or something? Grow the fuck up.

LonginesPrime · 09/09/2024 10:20

Is it wrong to think that this is MY song?

Yes, of course it is.

In what scenario would a song about someone ever belong to the person it was about? You didn't write it, she did.

It doesn't sound like you've even been together that long, and you're not even engaged, so why would you try to prevent her from publicly performing the song she wrote on the basis you might one day want to use it at your hypothetical wedding?

It's a piece of art, not a magic spell. Her singing it isn't going to curse your relationship (although complaining about this to her might..).

Davros · 09/09/2024 10:20

Annie's song by John Denver. Mind you, they did get divorced later on

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