Upset about a wedding song

You can still use it at your wedding . People don't pay attention anyway.

This is also true! I went to 2 weddings last year and cannot recall a single song played, even though I KNOW at least one of them had special songs playing at points before and during the ceremony. I can't for the life of me remember what they were!

Weddings are super important and memorable to those getting wed but for many guests, even when you deeply care about those getting married, they just become a generic, vague memory.

Hmm.. why do I get the impression that her next song might be titled ‘I realised it was over when I wasn’t allowed to sing my own song without a ridiculous drama’?

I get it, it feels special to you and you want to box that feeling. But just be super proud of her that other people will also benefit from her lovely song instead of wanting to protect it for yourself. It's your partners words, not yours.

When we say a song is written for someone, that's not usually true. It's written about someone.

The love song she wrote sounds like it's about how she feels. You don't own those feelings and you don't own the art that is inspired by them.

It's her song, she wrote it, she gets to say how and when she songs it.

You are being really silly here. You are not even engaged and are trying to control her art as if somehow her singing it at a wedding dilutes it in some way. Besides, unless she was going to sing at her own wedding, it's likely to be a somewhat different version anyway - even if it is sung at your hypothetical wedding that isn't planned yet.

DH often sings little songs about me, such as:
Legs of a limpet,
Arms of a squid,
Watch her banging the saucepan lid.

He's a genius.

I won't be upset if anyone wants to use this as an accompaniment to any of life's great events. Help yourselves.

Oh OP I get you. It's a loving and personal tribute and you were hoping it might be your wedding song first one day. You're not unreasonable for feeling this way but you would be unreasonable for pushing her to change it, I'm afraid. It's her work after all and love songs have meaning to many people. It's well known they're not written about all of them.

If she has another genuinely appropriate song you could suggest that one.

Otherwise try and reframe it positively and enjoy hearing her love for you proclaimed publicly as part of celebrating a friend's marriage (even if the day isn't about you, the sentiment is). See it as adding to the lovely meaning of the song rather than detracting.

Everytime I read an AIBU I put myself in the OPs shoes to see how I would feel if the scenario was happening to me.
I can honestly say I don't get your feelings and if my boyfriend( if I had a boyfriend and not a DH for 30 odd years) did this I would be really proud.
I would be in the pews beaming my head off!!!

It's the most cringeworthy song ever in its Diana form. It makes me want to do the same full-body cringe as when a certain type of daytime radio presenter does birthday requests for 'Doris Higgins, who is eighty years YOUNG!'

You can imagine how upset I was when Prince wrote this song about me and then made it into a chart topping hit -

I would understand the logic if your wedding was imminent, but you describe her as your girlfriend, not fiancee. I think you are being possessive, where you should really be extremely proud.

Awww I think people are being a bit mean here.

I think OP you're viewing the song a bit like wedding vows. Like your girlfriend has written them for you and now someone else is using them it takes away from the uniqueness and meaning of the words.

But music isn't really like that, it gains in meaning and passion as it's shared and passed around and others see their own lives and love in the lyrics. Every great love song ever written was written about someone specific, and it'll always have that special meaning to that one person. But music was made to be shared. Try and think of it as, your girlfriend loves you so much she wrote a love song that resonates with others to the extent they want to get married to it. That's special!

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Don’t be ridiculous, 1.) they aren’t even engaged 2.) it’s the musician’s song and up to her how she shares it.

Yes, you are being dramatic, controlling, immature, and have got it all wrong.

It’s her song, just about you. Lots of musicians write songs about other people, but those people don’t own the song.

Potentially you want it for your wedding - a song about you - you still can.

the friend (female) wants my girlfriend to sing her down the aisle and the song she has decided on is this one, the one that was written specifically for me.

Who has decided on the song OP, is it your girlfriend or her friend that has chosen it? if it is the friend your girlfriend may feel obliged to say yes.

I can understand where you are coming from in fairness, that has always been your song and you always envisioned it at your wedding, in which case, using it for someone else's wedding first would take the specialness off it.

Why don't you have a chat with your girlfriend so she knows how you feel, she may even agree but feels compelled to use it if she's been asked, but she may be able to change it up to suit them more, thinking Elton John Candle in the wind type scenario, her friend would think it's nice that she's doing that especially for them and then she wouldn't be using your specific song/lyrics etc?

Fair comment and I apologise for the assumption. I doubt you will apologise for the unnecessary aggression.

I think you should show her your post, to let her know how strongly you feel.

OP, can you not see how controlling it would be to prevent her from performing her work?

Does she get to dictate your career to a similar extent?

Maybe, if you don’t behave like a Wally, your lovely girlfriend will write a fantastic new song for when (or if) you get married.
Please just be happy and proud of her. Any other response (out loud anyway) just makes you look like a jealous child. You can be a bit disappointed on the inside but you need to get over it fast and smile proudly at the wedding.

Good grief ! Grow up !!!

I am surprised you are old enough to have a girlfriend that has friends that are getting married, never mind wanting it as a song for your wedding.

The opposite of jealousy is pride in your partner, that’s the emotion you should be aiming for. Hearing that song at another wedding should have you bursting with pride, knowing that it is being used for a special occasion and being shared with other people. If you don’t feel that way then you really shouldn’t go to the wedding, as if you sit there like a wet weekend you’ll spoil it for other people. Adjust your attitude or steer clear of someone else’s special day.

😂are you serious?! I’d be telling her 🚩 🚩 🚩 if she told me your reaction.

I think people are being overly harsh on this thread. It’s flattering that she’s so talented and the song is so lovely someone wants to use it , but I do see where you are coming from. You feel how you feel and that’s that. You can’t help how you feel.

You can still use it at your wedding . People don't pay attention anyway.
Also do you think all the love songs ever wrote are then never shared ? What would be the point . You should be proud they like it so much and want more people to hear it .

I can see why you might be upset about this if you want it to be your wedding song, especially as likely some guests at your own wedding will have heard it at your girlfriend's friends wedding first.
Ignore everyone telling you you're being silly. In the grand scheme of things this is minor, but your feelings are still valid.
Maybe when you get married your girlfriend will have written another song that will be even more suitable..