To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

@AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment I think what your thread has proved is that women unkindly judge each others weight whether they are fat or thin, and make massive assumptions about why each other are the size they are! So it doesn’t matter what size you are.
As long as you are happy with the size you are, it really doesn’t matter what others think. They will judge you no matter what.

OR of course, they will just pretend they love your scarf!

I do walk everywhere but I'm in my 40s and that doesn't keep the weight off anymore, I know from very thin friends, family the efforts they make and sacrifices and it's not for me when I'm slightly overweight.

Can't imagine a day in my life where I'd have so little going on in my own that I'd care what a random stranger looked like.

I don't like cake so no but maybe cheese, yes, I haven't changed how I eat but my metabolism has changed in last three years so I know 40s is a choice often, to have the cheese or not have it all, the choice is not to have second round of cheese. To go sea swimming, the gym and running and to have the cheese or not do excessive exercise, go to an Art Gallery or go and see a Play with that time and don't have the cheese if you want to lose weight. Tbh I am under investigation for ovarian issues so I don't often eat loads but have put weight on rapidly.

I don’t obsess over my weight but I do exercise a lot- nothing to do with how I look- all about the mental health benefits for me. Doing a lot of exercise also doesn’t prevent me from reading or going to galleries.

@Goldenbear people generally minimise or exaggerate statements so I tend to take with a pinch of salt.

Just like fat people who say
'I just eat salad' then go on that tv programme secret eaters and clearly eat more than that

It doesn't concern me personally. It doesn't have any impact on my life, but it's concerning for them. And if they were people I loved, then yes I would be concerned.

On a broader level, it's not exactly good to watch society fall into an obesity crisis. And I certainly wouldn't want my children growing up to think it's a normal way to be, or having their future loved ones impacted by it.

TBF when someone deliberately states this, the fact that theu have said this makes me think, no you're not, you are exercising all the time or have a preference for carrot sticks.

I don't really think anything when I see anyone, unless there's something incredibly remarkable or interesting about them.

What do I think generally of fat people, young, old, whatever? I feel lucky that's not me

'Concerning'?

Why does the behaviour of others concern you?

Genuine question.

I would see a kindred spirit and feel bad that your vice is so visible, like mine. This is what makes me mad, the fact that no one can see a person who is disorganised or a tech addict or a needy partner or a fussy eater or online gambler or constant worrier. Everyone has something they are bad at and need to work on. But everyone gets to see when you are fat.

I believed on some level that fat people are somehow incompetent and because I'd always been overweight I put myself in that category and that self criticism poisoned every part of my life. I now believe in mid 40s that I am unfortunate enough that the world can see my failing but it's only one failing and everyone has their failures too. I don't know anyone flawless. Plus I'm bloody great at everything else!! I am working at my weight and that counts, whether successful or not. I refuse to feel ashamed anymore.

Well done on your loss for far OP!!

Btw I love working out and reading and art. No idea why it would be a case of just one. Working out keeps me sane. I was working out while I gained weight but most of it was from anti depressants so it’s been okay to lose now that my body has got rid of them I guess.

Sorry, yes I agree as it is a bit opening yourself up to looking obsessive if you say you eat what you like as you are constantly on the treadmill or sea swimming or running or walking 20000 steps a day on top of all that! Yes, I'm naturally thin when I do all that - Dunkin Donuts here I come!

For young people I feel sad because I think it can determine so much of what happens in their life.

@Goldenbear
Like you say, naturally thin people are rare, if they said 'I eat what I want' I wouldn't think much about it, if a fat person said the same I'd probably think 'yeh I can see that'

I wouldn't be thinking they must be exercising their brain instead of their body.

What do you count as obsessing over weight?!

Because I exercise roughly an hour and a half a day, which I wake at 5.30am to do. Then the rest of the day I can go and be as cultural as I like! I work in publishing, and reading (and writing) is actually my favoured pursuit, and always has been.

You're being a bit daft.

@AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment
Excellent username 🫶🏾

I don’t think I clock whether a young person or an older person is overweight. I am 48 and overweight but I am losing weight. Possibly at the start of losing weight, I might have qualified for one of those medications but I don’t know because I didn’t really consider it. I replied to one thread on here but that was the most thought I gave it. I wouldn’t have heard of it if it wasn’t for MN.

However, in this day and age, I’m not sure what overweight means. I might notice if somebody was really overweight?. I’m also short so didn’t need to be carrying that much extra in order to have a high BMI. Would I notice if somebody was short and a size 22…I would notice if I was spending any amount of time with them, yeah. But I don’t think I think about it at all.

I haven’t always been overweight. I do find it noticeable that people are bigger than they were in say the last five years. But when I was thin, I didn’t think about it either. I am often taken aback at how much people notice about other people’s personal appearance. I have noticed that I’m probably average size on a night out now.

I always remember turning up at a bar one day and my friend’s friend said to me “oh your eyebrows are very tidy today. Have you put gel on them?”

It made me wonder what my eyebrows look like normally! 😂

I personally think it is more than that the people I know who say this are hiding eating disorders and it makes them feel a bit better about their control.

I think it's generally seen as much more socially acceptable to say 'oh I eat loads and don't put on weight ' than it is to say 'yes, I'm really careful about what I eat and have to exercise daily to remain slim'

Not if you're spending your time obsessing over your weight and exercising and to be overly concerned by this is a pretty vacuous pursuit so highly unlikely to be interested in activities that are not concerned with how you look!

The thing is, feeling like your body so beautiful and valid AS IT IS makes you want to take care of it - feed it healthy delicious food, move it in ways that make you feel good, dress it well. It’s incredibly liberating to love your body, whatever size you are. And that means treating it with care - not starving it OR binging, just eating enjoyable food that does you good.

In answer to your question, I don’t think anything when I see a fat person. I might think ‘i like that shirt’ or ‘they look exhausted’ or ‘they’re gorgeous’ or ‘what a cute couple’ (if they’re with their other half), like i would with anyone of any size or shape.

You can exercise and read books and go to galleries. 😂 In fact, I do quite regularly! Your argument is so bizarre.