To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

I confess to a judgemental thought this morning. As I was walking to work, I saw a young woman eating breakfast in McDonald’s. She was overweight. The judgemental thought popped into my head that, no wonder you are overweight. I did give myself a metaphorical slap and told myself not to be so judgy, but if I’m honest, that is a thought that popped into my head this morning.

I don’t ‘worry’ about adult strangers’ health though. I don’t know them well enough.

Fat children are a different matter. Medical conditions aside, something has gone wrong in their lives at an early age and I judge someone for that.

I, an obese person, conceived and birthed my healthy children first time I tried with each whereas two of my dear friends who have always been slim have struggled for years with the tragedy of infertility. It's a truly terrible thing to come on Mumsnet and blame people for their fertility problems. You don't know anything about a person's health by looking at them, and being slim is not a magic shield against ill health and misfortune in life. Don't go around pitying fat people in the street for the afflictions you've imagined on their behalf.

Tbh being overweight is so common it barely registers. I do notice when people are too overweight to walk properly as it just looks so uncomfortable and I do notice big children as it just seems such a shame

Well I think 26 is young op but I am very old. It depends how overweight you are. I'm not sure that posters are all being true with their "I don't notice people's bodies", maybe not walking past you, what if they were eating a big fat chocolate cake in a cafe? I have a friend who always comments "they don't need that, do they". I am fairly fat myself and desperate to lose weight so no judgement from me. What I find really sad is fat families. We seem to see obesity as normal nowadays.

This, I really never understand why so many people will think that others are so focused on them and their doings.

It depends how overweight. Little bit over - don’t really notice. Morbidly obese - to be honest I just feel sorry for them and wonder how they got like that.

I've 2 bio kids and 2 step kids, all in their 20's. All normal weights until they hit 16ish and the hormones kicked in.

My two had the same diet, upbringing, activities etc as the other, - both inherited my large skeleton (tall, wide shoulders and hips, large wrist measurements, big hands and feet) one is very slim, the other carries a few extra stone - the slim one has a sedentary job, eats loads of crap, the other has a very physical job and lives on protein and veggies - I feel very sorry for him as I know it bothers him.

DP's two are short and stocky, one runs marathons and the other skies 6 days a week yet both struggle with their weight.

Just putting that out there for people who might judge young adults and their parents for being overweight.

Also that they should lose weight now while young as I’m only 34 and it’s basically impossible already!

I also think this I’m afraid.

I’m talking here about young women who are obese, in the size 22 or above range though, not those who are merely a bit overweight but can still buy clothes on most high street places

This for me too.

That they eat too much of the wrong things and don’t move enough

and i feel sorry for them that their teens / twenties are being spent probably trying to lose weight rather than enjoying life more

I'm also overweight...I have been every size from an 8-18. At any size I've been, I'll say I don't particularly notice. There are lots of fat people around. It's not an unusual sight. If someone is extremely large...ie morbidly obese then yes I'd probably notice. I don't think anything negative about them. I feel sorry for them as I don't believe you can become extremely obese without having experienced some sort of trauma or difficulties of some sort. Weight is really complicated. People like to simplify it and place the blame on individuals for not having enough will power but we live in an obesogenic environment. It's extremely hard for some people.

I used to be quite overweight. Then I lost a lot after a surgery. Then pregnancies did a number on me and one two skip a few I've discovered I have a number of health conditions that prevented me from losing weight sufficiently... Insulin resistance, POTS. Late diagnosed ADHD too so was eating for stimulation without even realising it.

So when I do see someone younger than me who is carrying more weight like I was then I usually just think if you're ever trying to lose it, I hope you don't go through the rigamarole and bullying I put myself through with 6x week stressful gym sessions and on obscenely restrictive diet to only realise that I should have got some blood tests and made sure my body and its chemistry is working how it should.

Absolutely nothing. As a PP said, I'm not emotionally invested in strangers enough to give a toss what anyone else looks like or ponder on it. The only time it might cross my mind is if someone is very morbidly obese and is obviously struggling in some manner in front of me eg. wheezing or red faced etc Then, I might think they ought to lose weight to help themselves as its affecting their health. But from an aesthetic point of view, I dont care.

I honestly do not think I think anything. Unless the young person is morbidly obese and then I feel sympathy. I've struggled with my weight all my life and I know how painful it can be and what it does to self esteem so that would be the most I thought, if anything. I'm too usually worried about how I look to worry about how others look.

Either nothing or that being obese will wipe a fair few years off your life expectancy, increase your risk of infertility & drastically reduce your years of healthy life.

I don't think anything.

What you look like is of no concern of mine.

I don’t think much at all but it depends largely on the context.

When I see fat people in my gym I have a little inward cheer for them. I know how intimidated I felt by the gym when I joined and what a step that is so I’m always pleased to see others have felt able to take that step and even if not for weight loss it’s positive for mental health and health more generally (admittedly I’m projecting).

When I see fat primary school children I feel very sad for them as their parents have set them up for a difficult life.

I also sometimes wonder if they’re unhappy (projecting again) as I know when my weight fluctuates it’s because I’m struggling with my mental health.

If I see people in the street, in passing, I give it little thought.

I think I'd only really notice if you were extremely obese. I'm not sure I'd think much apart from noticing it just as I would if someone was outside the bell curve in some way like super tall, or amazing hair, or a unique dressing style etv

I'd notice your dress and maybe wonder if it would suit me.

If you looked really well dressed I might feel a bit dowdy in comparison.

I don't think 26 is that young. I'd feel sorry for an actual young person (under 17, and blame the parents). I was very skinny until around 25!

I'm very overweight, have been since childhood and am 45 now. I look at other overweight women and wonder what their story is, how their life is impacted, with intrigue to compare to my own story. Nothing negative at all

It depends - if the person is so clearly overweight that they're struggling with a day to day task (e.g walking in a supermarket or one flight of stairs at work) then it might draw my attention to it.

Most of the time however I don't really pay attention, it's not really top of my list to notice about people and it doesn't really register, unless we're talking about someone who's on the extreme side of overweight eg. 30 stone at 5ft.

Honestly I don't think people even notice or think anything about overweight or obesity in adults it's so common.

I do notice it in primary school kids and think surely their parents should help, change the kids diet.
But inevitably the parents obese too.

Honestly yes, I do judge. I wonder if they know or care how fat and probably unhealthy they are and how they got there.