To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

My son is overweight but he has disordered eating due to his autism/ADHD. He's an extremely active child fortunately otherwise it would be a lot worse. I hide a lot of things to try and minimise his compulsion to binge. I worry that people judge me as a parent when actually it's a constant battle. He's had a few comments at school from nasty kids that has affected his confidence.

I'm hoping that he's going to shoot up soon and it will even out. He does also exercise with me which is great but he really struggles with food in a way that I don't. It isn't always obvious to others why these situations come about. I do feel sad when I see very overweight parents who have over fed their children and you can see it's a pattern being repeated. It's such a complex subject.

I wonder if all the unpleasant, judgemental people would still feel the same if they learned how many of us had underlying health issues and problems?

I wonder how it is that they are so young and overeat to that extent, and hope they can get themselves some support for their issues.

sad, if I’m being perfectly honest

know how hard it is and I have had issues with weight gain. So I know it’s miserable.

clothing is more inclusive now which I think is nice because I found that really upsetting as a younger, bigger bodied woman.

I don’t think anything spiteful. It’s very easy to be overweight and the regular lifestyle in this country contributes to it.

but I do think it’s a huge waste of youth to be in a body that might be more prone to lifestyle conditions and can’t be as active as needed for the ideal cardiovascular health.

I would surround yourself by people who value health.

My parents brought me up incredibly healthily - tonnes of exercise and healthy foods. Unfortunately that hasn't stopped me developing PCOS as an adult which has led me to struggle with my weight 🤷‍♀️

When I see a young fat person, I wonder how they've got that way. And yes I do judge and feel sorry for them, because I can't see how they can be happy.

Depends on the kid for me. In my family it's normal to get fat before a growth spurt. We are tall and sturdily built. None of us have ever been 'waddling fat' and I do worry for children with that much extra flesh - but I'm not seeing many of those (yet?)

I have a wonderful friend who is in her 50's and very large and has very limited mobility . I feel more sad that her 3 children are all very large in their twenties . I think their mother's health should be a warning but it's not .
It's none of my business and I'd never say anything but I do wonder how they'll be going forward .they are such a lovely lovely family but the weight is a concern for their future wellbeing

I saw a large family the other day, mum, dad and kids age probably 6ish and 9ish were all very overweight. I judged the parents, I think it’s disgusting to feed your children to point they’re overweight. I don’t think there is any excuse. If they weee smokers or alcoholics no one would expect they let their children do that too. I think it’s quite hard for kids that age to eat so much to point of being very overweight.

young people, I perhaps feel sorry for them. I was overweight in my early twenties and it’s a rubbish time of life to be overweight. You feel virtually invisible

Nah its true- I really am that self absorbed 😂 I have so much to think about and do on a daily basis and I have a running self commentary in my head about my own stuff that I honestly dont have the time or the inclination to wonder about a stranger's life. Your friend might do that but that doesnt mean we all do. I am not minimising rude attitudes towards people who are overweight as I know that exists but I can guarantee that most people are way more focused on themselves and dont even view you as worthy of that much thinking (this isnt meant in a nasty way, its just human nature and it applies to all strangers, not just overweight ones)

I don’t think buses ought to be redesigned to accommodate the extremely large. People are not supposed to be obese. Changing everything to accommodate them merely normalises it more and more.

People notice change I think especially when you look different.

I don’t find weight control easy but I did when I was younger. My friend when I was a kid was overweight and it was really hard for her. I thought this was unfair genetics at the time. Looking back as an adult I can see this had to do with family trauma. So now if I see an overweight child or young adult I do worry about their MH or their parents MH.

But to be honest there’s a lot of poor MH and poverty over the last 15 years thanks to austerity and cost of living with the Tories and huge numbers of people relying on food banks. It’s a privilege these days to not have to worry about whether eating healthier food is in reach financially. So I also worry that overweight people may be struggling financially as well. It’s really complicated the reasons why people’s lives are the way they are.

Often I wouldn't give it any thought because being overweight has become so shockingly normal in the last few decades. But if I do happen to register a younger person's heaviness, I feel sad, angry that here is yet another person whose health is being compromised by their weight
I don't have any judgemental thoughts at all about the person (in the sense of "For goodness sake why can't they 'make healthier eating choices'"). I struggle enough with emotional comfort eating to know what a battle food can be, and I can begin to imagine how much more distressing that battle would be if I were overweight.
I just feel angry that developments in the food industry since my own childhood in the 70s have basically pushed an absolute avalanche of cheap, addictive, unbalanced processed food at us. Some people are lucky and can handle that without getting overweight (for whatever reason). Others struggle more. And I guess when I see someone overweight I think of them as victims.
Sometimes I also worry that the person might not even experience themselves as overweight, might think of their heaviness as normal and unproblematic, because it is so common now (and I guess because of the whole 'body positivity' thing)

I feel sorry for them and think in most cases it's because their parents have brought them up not knowing how to eat healthily. I know in a small minority of cases that's not the case.

When I see an overweight adult, I think nothing . When I see an overweight child , I feel bad for them because that’s the fault of their grown ups.

I’d feel it a shame and that they’d be happier and healthier and more attractive if they lost weight.

They're not wrong.

Food is meant to be a source of joy and sustenance. Obsessive calorie counting is definitely disordered thinking.

I'm a huge advocate of getting healthier, but weight loss is only part of that, and making it the focus risks replacing one kind of poor health with another. (Regular exercise is what will really help your body perform at its best, whether that means you look super-skinny or not.)

What do you mean that the issue is the buses are poorly designed? @stripybobblehat

Depends how fat, really. Like a PP, I feel sad for people who're so fat they can't move properly. If they're young, I'm hopeful that whatever's making them fat gets sorted before it starts really wrecking their body.

I see a LOT of overweight but healthy-looking 20-somethings and, in the main, I think how great it is that they can get nice clothes and enjoy themselves with confidence. This is so much better than when I was that age, especially for women!

Clothes shops like Etam and Miss Selfridge only went up to size 16, which was a 12 in today's sizes. Bigger women got a choice of billowing florals from Evans Outsize (it was really called that!) and the Outsize section in catalogues - really undermining for larger customers who'd like to be fashionable but had no options. You couldn't even get decent paper patterns in bigger sizes to make your own.

I love that women can now dress their flesh however they choose, however much of it they've got. When you're young, fat can look very sexy and I do see women making the most of their generous curves 😎

I think it's a shame that so many young people are overweight now, and that it's the most visible sign of how unnatural we have become - obesity doesn't exist in nature.
I find it aesthetically unappealing, but understand that most people are completely used to it. I live in a country where only rich people get fat. Poor people don't even have "problems with their glands" (like Brits in the 80s).

easy to say

i wonder whether they actually think this when they’re looking themselves in the mirror

when their thighs are rubbing together in summer

when it’s time to hit the beach in a swimming costume

when they’re stuffed from eating second take out of the day

If I’m completely honest if it’s a child I feel sorry for them and think they have neglectful parents. If it’s an adult I would I’m afraid have a perception that they are lazy and have no self control if they are very overweight simply because it isn’t necessary. Slightly overweight, if just a couple of dress sizes then I wouldn’t think anything of it at all.

However I would never be anything but friendly and polite to anyone.