To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

Name changed as I know I'll be vilified.
I think either nothing. If I do think anything, it's never positive about them, positive in the way I would feel if I saw a slim, fit person out exercising or just out. If I see a very fat person in a mobility scooter, I usually assume they are in there, incapacitated, because of their weight that may have also led to other health conditions.

If I see a very fat person waiting at the gate for the same plane I'm on, I really pray they are not next to me. I've spend flights squeezed up against an overweight person before, and it's horrible. They put the arm rest between us up to give them more room (in fairness to them it must have been extremely painful when it was down). Anyway, this pushed me towards the other side of my seat and I spent the whole flight squeezed against them. I should have asked to move but was too embarrassed.

I'm older so remember a time when there were far fewer overweight people. So, if I'm honest occasionally I find myself 'surprised' by how much bigger young people tend to be these days. But that's very much on a collective not individual basis. If I saw you as an OW 20 something I'd not think anything specific about you because you're just part if the new normal iyswim. I like to see young women who are confident and wearing what they please at a larger size and sometimes I feel a bit jealous that I was young in a time when size very much impacted body confidence, and a was on a permanent diet to lose a tiny stomach despite being under 9 stone. I do obviously think theres a health issue, but again collectively, but not solely to do with size, its diet for people of all sizes, so much meat, fat and sugar, plus alcohol consumption and sedentary lifestyle of a lot of young people of all sizes that is more likely to make me worry about future health.

If I see someone who is very very overweight I do think "my word she / he's a big lass / lad". But then I move on, same as if I saw someone who was extremely tall for example. I don't fret about their health or their diet.

If someone was so large that they were actually struggling to move around unaided, I might think ‘Blimey, that must make life very hard for them’. But other than that I don’t really think anything to be honest. People come in all shapes and sizes and I don’t notice the fat ones any more than the tall ones or the thin ones or the short ones or whatever. It’s just a neutral response for me really.

I’m going to be very honest, when I see a fat person, I see a fat person first. I honestly don’t see your nice hair/colourful scarf/wonder where you got your nice handbag at first glance. I hope you achieve your weight loss goal!

I wouldn't bat an eyelid. Fat people are not an unusual sight these days, especially fat women.

I feel pity if it's a child.
I once met a very obese woman and judged her harshly in my mind. It turned out she used to be a professional athlete but had had a terrible injury which left her bedbound for a long time and that's when she put on weight. I felt very bad for judging and try not to now.

I only feel sorry for fat kids because they have no real choice and have clearly been fed junk and not encouraged to exercise. By fat I mean very overweight, not just a bit chubby. They almost always have very fat parents too so it’s sad they’re clearly all stuck in a rut and I feel bad for them.

I think that there are so many over weight people around now that I would most likely spot the clothes you're wearing and think oo that's nice. What I do notice though is if someone is having physical difficulties that look like they could be weight related eg puffing and panting and moving slowly or uncomfortably. When it's children though I very much notice and feel sad that they could be unable to take part in sports and will possibly be limited in what they can do. That makes me sad and if I'm being honest, angry with their parents. The impact on internal organs by excess visceral fat is not good and they will probably have a very unhealthy life 😞

Do you judge and think this when you see a visibly underweight person too? Or do you usually think they are probably struggling with an eating disorder or physical health issue and feel sorry for them? If so, why would you not assume the same for an overweight person? There are so many reasons people may be overweight and it's not always as simple as they're lazy or greedy. Very few people choose to live their life fat.

People can love their bodies and be fat

I don’t think about people’s weight unless (1) they are actual children where it’s quite shocking to see them having got so large so fast (2) I have to sit next to them on a plane or similar and I’m losing space or (3) they are so big I wonder how they can get around. Just overweight and going about their business I wouldn’t notice I don’t think and I don’t think I think differently about someone who is 25 and huge or 50 and huge.

Lots of people don't have such a satisfactory experience with their doctor, aren't listened to and don't get those much needed referrals - but that's going on a bit of a tangent.

When I said 'you can't tell anything about a person's health from looking at them' I was responding to a poster who is not a trained doctor (as far as I know) who looks at fat women in the street and thinks they're probably infertile, ill and about to die. What I meant was that a layperson can't form an accurate judgement of a person's health from seeing them in the street. Some of the thin people you walk past will be struggling with fertility, or have an illness or be facing an untimely death and some of the fat people won't be.

The doctor's initial observation should be followed by proper investigation to see if their judgements have a basis.

It's very different to walking past someone in the street and thinking 'that lazy bitch only has a few years left, good job she probably doesn't have kids or a partner to mourn her since she's too fat to have any worth in society anyway'.

But fine, a doctor can suspect some things about your health from looking at you and maybe those things will turn out to be true. It has nothing to do with the point I was making but sure, you're right.

Honestly, as an old fat person I pity you and really really wish you would do something about it - purely for health reasons.
I am in my early 50's and in pain every day, even if I lost weight now the damage to my joints would be done, I know it would improve things a bit but I can't reverse it completely

If I’m honest I think “they must eat a lot”. I work hard to stay at my ideal weight and have accepted that means not eating a lot. This is especially true when you get older. I tend to think that the person has a food addiction and hasn’t come to terms with the fact that humans can’t overeat.

I live in a very poor part of the West Midlands and most women here are overweight. It’s sad and must really affect their quality of life. I often think they must have sore backs and bad joints as a result.

If I see overweight children it makes me really sad. Those children will probably be stuck with that food addiction for the rest of their lives.

1. I don’t think people who judge are being unpleasant
2. I doubt that the majority of obese people have an underlying health issue that makes them fat. So judging may occasionally be mistaken because the person has a health issue. But it will more often be right.
3. If you are an overweight person who is overweight due to a medical condition, you would also be entitled to judge those who are obese by reason only of their lifestyle choices. Why don’t you?

Well, if nothing else, at least this thread is a good way of filtering out the kind, empathetic posters from the judgemental and unpleasant ones!

Yeah, this. I wouldn't think anything really about an adult being overweight. I do feel a general concern about the levels of obesity in society but not towards a specific individual.

If it's an obese child or young teen I might feel a bit judgy towards their parents as at that age they would have some level of control over what their kid eats. However even then it's often more about society - I often see groups of obese 14/15/16 year olds heading into McDonalds etc together in town and there's not much parents can do about that. An actual kid (say preteen) I would judge, yes.

I don’t think anything about an overweight person in their 20s as it’s so commonplace.

I do notice if they are so large they can’t move easily, or they are next to me on a bus or plane seat and are large enough that their body takes up more space than their own seat. I also notice if they are a very young person (child or teenager).

Body positivity in general is a good thing- it’s best for everyone not to hate ourselves or feel ashamed about our bodies, because it’s very difficult to make changes from a place of shame. However, young people celebrating obesity does irk me. I saw a programme a while ago about people who were trying to lose weight and one of the young women was really pushing against it all, saying that she was perfectly healthy as she was, and her body shape was ‘valid’ etc. It is possible to be perfectly healthy as an overweight or obese 25 year-old; because youth is a massive advantage. If that person is the same size (or bigger) at 30…40…50 and beyond, the odds are that health will begin to deteriorate. In the same way that young people can often ‘get away with’ smoking and drinking heavily. At older ages, the risks are huge.

I would automatically think, she eats too much junk food and doesn't move around very much. If you were in your 40s,did blame the menopause.

My mother has been obese (size 24) almost all of my life. (From 34yo) So my instinct when I see young fat people is to worry about your future health. My mother was fit and able to swim and do DIY and play with us as kids. But from 55 her body sort of collapsed, her joints are wrecked, and now in her early 70s she’s largely in bed, in huge pain, despite having had her knees, shoulders and hips replaced. And carrying that weight caused the joints to erode. The lack of fitness because of the pain meant she lost muscle.
she had an abusive husband and was very depressed so comfort ate, and found it hard to loose weight, but I think if she realised just how terrible it would have been that she’d have done everything possible to loose weight, because life if miserable now.

I can’t help but see her experience in young fat people’s future.

i was always slim but thought i was fat