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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

591 replies

AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment · 09/09/2024 07:09

I'm very, very aware that this thread will probably get some nasty responses.

But I'm young (26), overweight and short. I try to dress nicely and I'm actively losing weight, but I'm just curious. What do you actually think when you see a fat person? I've never given it much thought before now as I've been fat my entire life, but what do you really think? Am I walking round oblivious to the fact I'm being judged all the time or do people just not care?

OP posts:
LikeAnOath · 09/09/2024 09:51

Dear God @lemonpepperlady I was replying to a poster who DOES judge the health of passersby based solely on their weight and makes assumptions about their fertility and imminent death. That was the context in which my comment was made. That's all.

jetbot · 09/09/2024 09:51

AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment · 09/09/2024 09:50

Yes. They are very happy for me and encouraging of it. Same for my family.

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even though they’re of the views you describe up thread?

Galiana · 09/09/2024 09:51

LudlowStreet · 09/09/2024 09:41

I can't think I've ever seen extremely underweight people out. I think there are probably far fewer of them and if they are about they go unnoticed because they don't take up the space a fat person would.

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You obviously don't get out much.

I often see an obviously anorexic person when out and about.

And I feel for them in the same way I feel for a hugely obese person, or a street drug user.

In a 'that person is struggling' way.

It's literally not my job to help, but I can see that people who wear their trauma, are deserving of compassion, not judgement.

Original poster
AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment · 09/09/2024 09:50

jetbot · 09/09/2024 09:49

have you told your friends you are taking mounjaro?

Yes. They are very happy for me and encouraging of it. Same for my family.

OP posts:
Beth216 · 09/09/2024 09:50

LikeAnOath · 09/09/2024 07:32

I, an obese person, conceived and birthed my healthy children first time I tried with each whereas two of my dear friends who have always been slim have struggled for years with the tragedy of infertility. It's a truly terrible thing to come on Mumsnet and blame people for their fertility problems. You don't know anything about a person's health by looking at them, and being slim is not a magic shield against ill health and misfortune in life. Don't go around pitying fat people in the street for the afflictions you've imagined on their behalf.

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Yes but you're one person. It's a fact that being obese reduces your fertility, just because you got lucky doesn't make it untrue.

It's the defensiveness and denial of some overweight people that bugs me the most rather than what they look like OP.

jetbot · 09/09/2024 09:49

have you told your friends you are taking mounjaro?

lemonpepperlady · 09/09/2024 09:49

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Original poster
AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment · 09/09/2024 09:45

@jetbot and it is and I'm very happy with my progress.

@LudlowStreet it doesn't in all cases but there are cases where it does, again I'm not going to judge my parents because they did the best they could in a very difficult situation and I don't think they did too badly

OP posts:
Sorrelia · 09/09/2024 09:45

What matters is what you think. You sound lovely and good on you to lose weight, you will feel so much better.
As a PP, I don't register other people's bodies but a young, overweight person, I might think what a shame, he or she is missing out while they're physically in their prime years.

LudlowStreet · 09/09/2024 09:44

jetbot · 09/09/2024 09:38

low income absolutely does NOT inevitably feeding your children shite

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I agree.
I think time pressure could result in eating/feeding children crap but people can eat healthy on very little money.

jetbot · 09/09/2024 09:44

AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment · 09/09/2024 09:22

As I said in my OP I am actively losing weight

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with a weight loss drug

so weight should begin to fall off you

Galiana · 09/09/2024 09:44

Gone12 · 09/09/2024 09:29

I wouldn't bat an eyelid. Fat people are not an unusual sight these days, especially fat women.

You might want to look at the stats on that.

There are more overweight/obese men than women.

So there's clearly a conditioned element as to how you view other's bodies.

LadyKenya · 09/09/2024 09:44

Oblomov24 · 09/09/2024 09:40

All these mn thin people aren't representative of the uk population are they, because majority are overweight. people assuming they must be unhappy, that just can't be true if this said thing happens to the majority.

That does not equate to the majority being happy though does it? Why would it? Look how many people are now spending lots of money on weight loss injections, are they part of this happy majority too?

DrSavaage · 09/09/2024 09:41

I wouldn’t judge. People are fat for lots of reasons. You could have had a mental health crisis, PCOS, other health conditions. You might have an eating disorder. You might not know how to cook from scratch and be juggling a job with caring responsibilities.

I wouldn’t think anything of it in the same way I wouldn’t think anything in particular about a thin person, people are individuals.

LudlowStreet · 09/09/2024 09:41

captureitrememberit · 09/09/2024 09:27

Do you judge and think this when you see a visibly underweight person too? Or do you usually think they are probably struggling with an eating disorder or physical health issue and feel sorry for them? If so, why would you not assume the same for an overweight person? There are so many reasons people may be overweight and it's not always as simple as they're lazy or greedy. Very few people choose to live their life fat.

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I can't think I've ever seen extremely underweight people out. I think there are probably far fewer of them and if they are about they go unnoticed because they don't take up the space a fat person would.

PorridgeIsNotSlimmingTheWayIMakeIt · 09/09/2024 09:40

I think most of us are too worried about what WE look like to give a shit what anyone else looks like, unless they're attention seeking in some way (e.g. performative hair colouring/piercings/tatts etc). I'm so unobservant I'd be an absolutely useless witness at a crime scene.

Oblomov24 · 09/09/2024 09:40

All these mn thin people aren't representative of the uk population are they, because majority are overweight. people assuming they must be unhappy, that just can't be true if this said thing happens to the majority.

usernother · 09/09/2024 09:39

If I see a child who is fat I feel very sorry for them. But an adult, like yourself, I don't take that much notice.

jetbot · 09/09/2024 09:39

how overweight are you?

Original poster
AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment · 09/09/2024 09:39

@jetbot it was a very complex situation and I don't particularly think it's relevant but I don't fault my parents for doing their best when we were young

OP posts:
jetbot · 09/09/2024 09:38

AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment · 09/09/2024 08:35

Schools I agree with but I just can't fault my parents, yes they didn't teach us the best habits but they were so busy and stretched on low incomes due to my dad's divorce agreement, I just can't find it in me to blame them

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low income absolutely does NOT inevitably feeding your children shite

ChristianHornersGlisteningFinger · 09/09/2024 09:38

ButterAsADip · 09/09/2024 09:01

I’ve always been under a size 18 and never been lower than the ‘obese’ category.

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Oh I know, I am a size 16 and my BMI was 30 until a couple of months ago, which is obese. I wasn’t saying that you had to be size 22 to be obese, I was saying that obese people who are so large they can’t buy clothes in most shops are the ones I particularly notice. Not that those obese people are the only obese people. Perhaps I should have said “morbidly obese” but I am not sure if that has a technical definition.

jetbot · 09/09/2024 09:37

AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment · 09/09/2024 07:55

@AgnesX these are random strangers though, as I'm walking past I've genuinely had 3/4 people in the last two weeks just stop me and say "your dress is beautiful" or "you look beautiful" which is a real shock to me as I don't tend to think of myself as being a beautiful person 😂 I was just thinking about it over my coffee 😂

does this happen very regularly?

or just in last fortnight?

jetbot · 09/09/2024 09:36

overweight child? i feel anger towards the parents

overweight adult? poor sod. sort out your diet and exercise

ladygindiva · 09/09/2024 09:36

sonjadog · 09/09/2024 07:15

I would think nothing. I would register there is another person, and that’s it.

I wouldn’t worry about their future health etc. as I am not that emotionally involved with people I pass in the street. Also, I have no insight into random people’s lives, so I can’t comment on them.

Edited

This , I think the same.

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