To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

It varies. I have an overweight friend who always looks gorgeous and has the most beautiful face and hair and I always think “how can you look so perfect whilst I’m such a hot mess” (I am also overweight, albeit nearly 50).

With younger people if I see them exercising I think, perhaps patronisingly “good for you”. And then I start thinking about how cross I am that our industrial modern world pushes such poor food choices at us. I have sympathy for people who can’t seem to control what they eat.

Lastly I sometimes think of my mum who would always stage whisper in John Lewis cafe “if I were that size, I certainly don’t think I’d have chose that piece of chocolate cake.” Mortifying. I would hiss at her to shut up as there’s clearly no correlation between deafness and weight.

If they're massively overweight, I feel sorry for them. i presume life has been hard for them to be that way. Similarly, if someone is incredibly underweight. If it's children that are massively overweight, I must say I judge the parents. But generally I believe that we are all different shapes and sizes and unless someone is visibly excessively so, I don't really notice.

If they're massively overweight, I feel sorry for them. i presume life has been hard for them to be that way. Similarly, id someone is incredibly underweight. If it's children that are massively overweight, I must say I judge the parents. But generally I believe that we are all different shapes and sizes and unless someone is visibly excessively so, I don't really notice.

I do think how much society has changed in 40 yrs or so. Definitely don't think the health of the nation is great on the whole but totally get that it must be extremely hard to fight against all the fattening food that now exists and the easy access of cars and massively improved ease of using washing machines etc. Apparently that's one of the main reasons for weight increase, the comparative ease of housework but who the hell wants to go back to the twin tub or whatever evils existed to tie women to the house? It's very complex.

Honestly I hate to see a obese child , just feel really sad for them but I don't even register adults bodies one way or the other. I do notice nice clothes though and often ask someone where an item of clothing is from!

I think more people silently judge people for all sorts of things, more than anyone would ever admit.
Would I ever say anything to them, be rude or unkind to their face? Absolutely not. Would I help them if they needed help? 100%.
But I can’t deny that I inwardly do have judgemental feelings over things. If I see someone smoking, I inwardly feel quite disgusted that someone would do that to their body. If I see someone drop litter, I inwardly dislike that person.

I’m not a saint, but I am just being honest.

I generally wouldn’t think much of it - being overweight, even hugely so, isn’t a sufficiently unusual feature to merit attention.

I do notice when people are overweight or unfit in a way that negatively impacts their every day physical movement. If a friend gets really out of breath climbing stairs or walking to coffee then I do think ‘god life would be so much harder’ like that. And I guess I get a bit more frustrated than I would do with someone who was slow because they had a hip issue or crutches which I need to reflect on… But ultimately if it’s not my body or my children’s body then I’m not responsible for it.

I think the narrative around very overweight bodies has changed significantly recently - I’m more aware than ever that my genes and family habits growing up are two of the most significant factors in me staying relatively slim / athletic. it’s a lot harder for some people.

I'm judging, I'm sorry.

Menopause and extended steroid use caused me to put on a lot of weight in my 40s which has left me with ongoing health problems. Even though I have since lost a lot of the weight, I am stuck with the health problems including type 2 diabetes and the complications which come with that. My adult DS, who is your age has put on a lot of weight in the last 2 years (he had previously always been slim) and was recently diagnosed with heart problems. His Drs have told him that his weight (and his smoking) are the likely cause.

When I was young, in my teens and twenties, very few of us were obese. My one very overweight friend from school suffered a devastating stroke in her early 40s which left her in need of full-time nursing care. Another stroke less than 10 years later killed her. I now see many teenagers and children who are worryingly overweight. We live in an area where there are lots of students and lots of them are overweight, and I judge because if they are already obese aged 18-20, they are likely to be even more overweight as they get older, and they are going to find themselves facing a lot of health problems.

Lose weight while you're young if you can - for your health if nothing else. It only gets harder as you get older.

So much this. I am so burnt out on getting my own young DC through a pandemic and then a recession that I have absolutely zero interest in other young people, unless I know them very well.
IRL most people don't care that much about other people.

I remember watching ‘Trisha’ a daytime chat show type thing, they were talking about obesity, a very obese woman was taking part and talking about her weight. She came on stage, walking with two sticks, Trisha said ‘I didn’t notice your weight, my first thought was you have beautiful eyes!’ Absolute nonsense, so disingenuous to say something like that! It is simply not true to say you don’t notice obesity.

It depends how fat really. If just overweight, nothing at all. If extremely morbidly obese pity may cross my mind, and a flash of how does someone get that big, before I give my head a wobble and think I don't know what that poor person has been through in order for things to get that out of control.
And if I see large people in the gym I have nothing but admiration.

I feel sad for the person, because I know losing weight gets harder once you are old and have kids. The easiest time of your life to maintain a healthy weight is when you are young. Once you have kids, mortgages, stretch marks and the menopause it’s so hard to keep a decent weight and diet going.

I dont judge without being rude lots of the nation are overweight. As a parent, I wouldn't be overly happy, if it was my child as I worry for there health (not just for the future) but if they are emotionally eating but I don't go round looking at obese people and thinking negative thoughts.

I've recently lost a lot of weight on mounjaro and I'm no longer in the obese category.
It's the only thing that's ever worked for me and I feel so much healthier.

Despite my own struggle and knowing that being fat is often down to far more than gluttony and laziness, my gut reaction when seeing someone significantly overweight is to pass judgment (and yes, I know this makes me a massive hypocrite!)

Whenever I see the before/after weight loss pictures, I perceive the slimmer version of that person to have a higher intelligence. I don't know whether it's solely me who does this, but I can't help myself.

I don't really think anything about fat adults – their bodies, their choices.

I absolutely do judge the parents of fat children, though.

I used to be morbidly obese, and was a fat child. I know how difficult it made my life, right through from early childhood up until the point where I forced myself to take control of the situation. Even now, I am still overweight and have a heavily restricted diet in order to avoid going back to obesity. It is significantly easier to maintain a healthy weight if you've never been fat before, and if you're allowed to get fat as a child, you are much more likely to struggle with your weight throughout your life.

I strongly believe that it's neglectful to allow your child to get fat (barring medical conditions, of course).

TBH I don’t think anything - unless they’re really extremely fat and wearing thin, skin tight leggings with a very short top. Then I have to admit that I wonder why they don’t feel like covering up that enormous wobbly bottom. Maybe they’re ’making a statement’ that they don’t give a shit what anyone thinks.
Fine, if so, but to me it is not a pretty sight.

If I see very large young people I feel regret for the potential damage to their joints etc.

I notice that there is a geographic element : ie the nearer I am to the city centre the larger people are - the further into the country the smaller people get 🤷‍♀️

I notice when young fat people dress from head to toe in skin coloured tights with no underwear. I wonder if they have a mirror or if they’re demonstrating their body acceptance activism.

I don’t really judge things that don’t effect me but I notice a lot and just think and wonder about it.

Nothing. Young people IMHO spend too much time writing about what other people think and the reality is - we don’t really think about them at all

@thoonerismspread i am the same, I want to help. I was very fat for ten years, then trim and then morbidly obese. Bereavements and trauma plus a life changing health condition treated with steriods didn't help. I hated how I looked. My adult DC are not overweight. I've changed my life over the last few years, I don't drink and I eat a better diet.
I don't judge but I do want to help. I would love to run cooking classes now I am nearing retirement (I have a nutrition qualification). I spent twenty years embarrassed and thinking other people judged me or would discriminate (they did often! ). My profession has a reputation for harsh critics, I did well but it could have been a whole lot easier on my mental health if I'd followed a healthy diet.

I was fat in my 20s. Lost the weight in my early 30s and have been a size 8 ever since without dieting. When I see someone fat I think that I’ve been there and they should lose the weight because they are wasting their 20s like I did. It gave me such terrible low self esteem. I get that not everyone is the same but it really did hold me back.

It depends how 'fat' they are. Just a couple of stone overweight I wouldn't particularly think anything at all.

Seriously obese I would notice and probably feel sorry for them as I know how hard it is to lose even a few stone.

I'm sure there are people like that, but we have a national obesity crisis in this country and it’s not ALL down to medical conditions. People eat too much of the wrong foods and don’t exercise properly. I’m not sure why people are denying that.

I'm not sure anyone is denying that

They're just saying that judging someone for being overweight is unpleasant and unnecessary - and given you generally have no idea of the reasons behind it - it's just unpleasant behaviour that doesn't actually serve a purpose.

You asked for honesty, and I'm not sure that all the people saying they don't notice, or that they notice a nice scarf are being entirely honest.

Honestly, I think : that person eats too much.

If it's a young person then i always hope they'll lose the weight whilst they still have good muscle tone and collagen if they are dieting.
Otherwise I don't think much.
I'm 60's now and v. thin due to illness and my arms and legs look horribly wrinkly due to lack of muscles. 3 years ago I had a lovely pert bum and good thighs.

I’m sure there are people like that, but we have a national obesity crisis in this country and it’s not ALL down to medical conditions. People eat too much of the wrong foods and don’t exercise properly.
I’m not sure why people are denying that. The rise of Just Eat and the like make it so easy for people to make the wrong choices. There was never this level obesity years ago, you’re not telling me that nobody had health conditions then, surely? They did. People in the 40s and 50s had health conditions, but there sure as hell weren’t many obese people around in those days.

People need to open their eyes. We live in a society of junk food, fast food, processed food, sedentary lifestyles with hundreds of channels, box sets, games consoles… that’s your problem.