To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

There is a young woman in her 20s in my close circle who is quite overweight. I worry about her and for her future health .

My own experience is that (as a woman especially) the weight gain only continues through life so the younger someone is who i observe to be significantly overweight, the more i worry for them. If you are a slim teen even when you inevitably gain weight through the 20's, 30's and 40's you started at a lower baseline so its a while before the worst impacts kick in. If you are 17 and already significantly overweight, the following decades are likely to be a battle.

When i see primary aged kids who are considerably overweight (im not talking about a layer of puppy fat here, bones covered - im talking about rolls of fat) i feel so sad as that is absolutely the fault of their parents. Children can't magic up unhealthy food/portions too large for them, they are given to them by their parents, or given money and allowed to buy sweets/chocolate amd unhealthy snacks.
I often wonder if they look back later in life and wish their parents had tried harder to stop them.

I don't think anything specific about them because of their weight.

I especially don't offer fake health concern, because I don't know anything. about their health.

You'd have to be hugely overweight for me to notice tbh. And I MIGHT judge then I guess (sorry). But if we're talking BMI of say 31 (so obese but only just) it probably wouldn't even register it my brain.

I don’t see many extremely thin people.
It is actually normal or should be, for people to be what most would consider slim.
There are so many overweight people now that what is average wound have been considered fat when I was a child.
I was never skinny, I don’t have that body type. Yet as a child I didn’t carry any excess body fat. I was tall and went through puberty early so I was very conscious of not being fat. It is hard when your friends have the slimmer body type and have he advantage of pre puberty.
That is life though. Some people have to work much harder than others.

You will find people treat you differently OP, I think a lot of people whether they admit it or not equate fat=lazy and judge the person solely based on that, not many people will admit to that though. If I see an overweight person I don't really think that, but if I see I morbidly obese person I do, a lot depends on how you carry yourself.

I was a skinny child, overweight adult, then lost 8 stone.. the attitude of people was quite eye opening, the worse thing was when people would comment things like 'oh you look so much better, how do you feel?' .. and I'd normally go along with it, but if it was someone I knew well I'd tell them the truth, in that I felt the same, because I AM exactly the same person.. I didn't have a personality or brain transplant, I just look different, so why would I 'feel' different?

I put on about 3 stone back on over time and am losing it again now, but the best thing to do is not care what people think, just be honest with yourself, don't kid yourself that you are happy with your size if your aren't, being a size 10 isn't the be all and end all, being healthy, happy and content is far more important.

When I see morbidly overweight people I have sympathy for them. Particularly young people as i wonder what got them to that place. I feel sad for children as life isnt easy being the overweight child in a class.
Life cant be easy being extremely overweight from many aspects, it affects health, travel, comfort, self esteem and dare I say it employment opportunities - though it shouldn't .
Society I do feel judges on looks and appearance.
I don't think I really notice other overweight people , apart from.extreme overweight which can stand out.
I'm carrying extra weight myself and feel very self conscious though if I see overweight people at the gym or on holiday in swimsuits bikinis etc I think good on you for going the gym and trying and also for having body confidence.

I'm a GP.

When I see a very fat young woman (and where I live, I see a lot them) I am concerned about her health. Being very fat is a health condition. It increases the risks of multiple problems, including pregnancy complications and lots of cancers. During the pandemic, I remember often reading stories in the press about 'healthy' young people dying - but they weren't usually healthy, they were obese. The only people I knew personally or professionally who died were obese.

And I certainly don't feel that her obesity is because of some failing on her part. I am angry on her behalf that there is something about our society and the way we eat that is damaging so many people's health. I am quite old, and grew up and spent my young adulthood in a fairly deprived area. It was extremely rare for anyone to be obese. Something has changed in our environment over the last forty years, and it is very likely to be the normalisation of a diet largely made up of highly processed foods.

Edited to make it clear I am talking about people who are obese. Being slightly overweight (BMI under 28) may mean you don't look as good you'd like, but it has much less impact on your health.

If they are children, I feel very angry at their parents.

If they are adults, I wonder what they eat to get to and maintain that size (I'm talking about obese people here, not just overweight).

Obesity is easy to judge because it's visible, that's all.

Nobody judges a skinny person in the pub drinking wine on a Friday night even though they could quite easily be an alcoholic. Nobody judges a skinny person for eating cake even though they could have badly controlled diabetes or dangerously high cholesterol 🤷‍♀️

But apparently it's okay that everyone judges someone who is overweight, even though they could may never touch a drop of alcohol and could be perfectly healthy in terms of their diet and exercise routine.

I feel sorry for over weight kids. And quite judgy towards their parents. A fat young adul? Not sure I really have an opinion.

I probabaly wouldn't even notice you, or anyone, unless I saw they had something fab in the clothing or shoe line and then it would be ooo I wonder where they got that. Sometimes I even ask!

Honestly I'm intrigued to know how they got fat....
I am a slim person and I don't deprive myself of anything so I'm always interested to know just how much food the fat person thinks is 'normal'.

When I see fat children, I feel sorry for them.

If I see a really overweight person, I might think "I really don't need that chocolate bar I was going to buy" or "better hit the gym today", but only because it reminds me of when I was really overweight .

I don't judge them for it or speculate on what might have led them to be like that - they obviously have their reasons and it's their body and nowt to do with me.

I do notice extremes- the extra~ large and desperately thin- There used to be a young woman where we lived who was terribly anorexic who used to 'run' with a rucksack loaded with stuff

Terribly anorexic? Was she actually suffering from anorexia, or just very thin?

I do not care about the how they look the aspect, if people look great or like shit it is no concern of mine be it weight or clothes, I do care about their health.

They may be shortening what they can do and the cost to the NHS, 10% of the entire budget goes to type 2 diabetes. Now there can be a genetic element, there is in my family. My Mother avoided it be being careful, my brother did not and killed himself basically. He made no attempt with his food intake and ended up on dialysis and shortened his life considerably. His demise was avoidable. I’m still staving it off by being very careful with food. My sister was pre diabetic, she lost 5 stone, she was scared when he died. The main outcome apart from not dying prematurely like our brother was her aches and pains diminished considerably.

DH had only ever known her as fat as she was about 43 when we met, I’m 14 years younger than her. He was gobsmacked and said she looked like a totally different person and she did and still does.

You risk dying under general anaesthetic more, when pregnant it has higher risks and some cancers are directly linked to obesity. I have a congenital issue with my spine, if I was obese it would severely affect my mobility.

So it’s all about health for me.

Fat adult, that’s their choice and I would not even register it. Fat child I do feel sorry for

I too have definitely noticed the absolutely skin tight leggings and zero underwear that shows every dimple &c.

Maybe it is body positivity.

People like Yoga and Pilates teachers who are toned and honed also wear leggings, but usually with a short skirt.

I do notice extremes- the extra~ large and desperately thin- There used to be a young woman where we lived who was terribly anorexic who used to 'run' with a rucksack loaded with stuff.

I do still think of her years later and hope that she is still alive.

If I see a fat person exercising I think they are good role models embarking on a positive journey

My son-in-law is 28 and has just managed to lose 20kg.

He was unhappy with his working life for many years and did a lot of comfort eating but he has changed that - he is now happy & motivated in his career so feels able to tackle his poor eating habits.

He still has more to lose but I really admire him and I'm so glad he has begun to make these changes because as others have pointed out, it will only become more difficult as he gets older

The only time I inwardly judge is if that person is wearing leggings that are so tight you can see everything, and their top stops at their waist, it’s when you can see the cellulite and lumps and bumps.
I also inwardly judge larger people if they are sat eating massive meals in restaurants.

The rest of the time I don’t notice peoples weight, it’s not something I’m concerned about myself, so it’s not something that crosses my mind.

Do you think being fat inhibits most? When I'm walking down the High Street I see loads and loads of fat people going about their business, to the supermarket, to pick up a prescription from the chemist. when I go to my Work Christmas do there's loads of people of varying degrees of slim to fat to really big. People that I meet on interviews and teams from the bank or an accountant, are slim, loads are fat. So?

the majority of the UK is fat.
Most people just go about their daily business. What has fat got to do with anything? Think it stops people doing stuff?

Yes of course there are some people who their mental health, their weight inhibits them. Mentally, or physically. They may not want to go out anywhere eg. but actually that's a mental health issue.

Most people who are overweight, 3/4 of the population is overweight in the UK, it's not stopping most of these people going to work and going out and about and doing their daily business.

if you really obese, clinically obese it may inhibit you a lot, eg getting around.

but most people who are overweight are just getting on and doing their stuff that everybody has to do surely?

I saw a woman recently in the supermarket, she was young maybe only twenty, very pretty with her hair done nicely and tasteful make up, well dressed. She was also very very overweight, what caught my attention was her ankles. She was wearing flat pump type shoes and a skirt. And her legs had marks on and her feet must have been in a bad way as well. I assume diabetes. I felt so much pity for her, this young bright woman killing herself, literally parts of her body scarred and potholed and rotting. I just felt terribly sad for her.

Nothing because there are lots of young fat people! We are all responsible for our own bodies and we are all capable of gaining/losing weight assuming no medical issues! It's none of my business what other people look like and I am FAR from perfect myself....

There are some people for whom weight gain is an effect of a medical condition.

More people are overweight because they eat too much. Perhaps they equate food with love and care. I know of a family where three generations are overweight, some of them very overweight. The mother regularly posts photos of meals, which look large to me. If you have a meal, I don’t think the majority include a portion of rice, a portion of pasta and potatoes in it.

It has caused significant mental health problems for one grandchild. It has caused physical health problems for others, including high blood pressure, aching joints, heart problems. Some of these, at least, would be alleviated by losing weight. Presumably, the longer it continues, the more used you become to eating a large amount.