Teenagers joining in with adult meals with guests

The OP didn't say that the teenager shouldn't dine with her.

She said she thought the teenager would do her own thing after they had eaten and she said that she thought it would change the dynamic of the planned night out if they brought teenagers with them.

I agree that them having dinner with you at their home is fine, but them going out with you for a meal seems unusual. However, as someone who was an awkward teen with few friends, could it be that their DC are the same? I'd consider this in case they would welcome the chance to socialise. My friend's DD was like this a couple of years ago after her so-called friends started leaving her out, her coming out with us one Saturday evening got her out of the house.

I think dining with adult guests is an essential part of growing up. Slightly different if you're going out to dinner but I think only in Britain would anyone actually expect teens to not eat with the adults? Seems utterly weird to me to do any otherwise.

Obviously not all the time. But when friends are together and drink is had, yes sometimes sex is brought up.

OP - I'm the same as you, it puts a different vibe on the evening, I ended up sitting next to the teen last time, making polite conversation. We left that one fairly early on.....
I can't imagine my 3 teenagers wanting to join in with an adult dinner party.

@gannett for one thing I do not think it is good for

I do think some parents have serious mum goggles on and think their friends genuinely want to hang out with their teens.

No 😂 although I don't think he'd mind he's quite an unusual kid.
The friends I'm talking about are about 15 years older than him & 15 years younger than me and they do have things in common. They aren't mummy friends desperate for kid free time - he finds that lot boring!

I would just say that you were looking forward to escaping your kids for the evening to just enjoy a bit of adult time so you're going to cancel on this occasion but you're happy to do it again another time

In their own home, thats fine, obviously.

But joining you for a meal out? I wouldn't be very keen. I wouldn't have wanted to have had my DS come out with me when I met my friends for a meal. It does change the whole vibe.

It was a reference to the OP.

What’s etiquette got to do with anything? Unless you’re royalty I’d say a group of adults can discuss whatever they want over dinner.

Well I never knew some people discuss sex at the dinner table. That’s good etiquette? 😆

Can't you see there are lots of topics women.may want to discuss away from teens kids?

@axolotlfloof yes sure but I'd discuss with my mates on our own. Not at a dinner party with their husbands 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think fine at their house, although it would be nice if the teens melted away at some point in the evening.

Telling you all as a fact that teens are coming out for your group dinner is a bit U, surely it’s more a question of “do you mind if X comes for Y good reason?”

I agree that if your don’t want to leave your teens to hang out with others, you’ll have to bring yours too!

Couldn't stand this.

My own kids don't overstay their welcome with our friends. No way am I being subjected to someone else's kid.

@Nanny0gg well clearly they're welcome to their opinions. Nobody in my circles ever mind. I'm not saying OPs feeling are wrong. Just not my experience.

Yeah this 😂

Out of politeness I will ask my friends teens about school / college, social media trends etc but really I just want to chat to my friends.

Thankfully all my friends are the same and we never socialise with kids around (unless it's something like a BBQ or big party which is obviously a bit different). But yeah meals out, Friday night drinks, catch up over a coffee - nope.

Lord, as if anyone wants to hear someone else's 15-year-old's opinions on politics

I used to make sure that my DC were here to avoid awkward conversations with certain friends! They were less likely to want free professional advice from me or start asking about my divorce if the kids were present.

ZenNudist

I dunno. I accept my friends dc. It doesn't stop me talking to my friends. What are you talking about that you can't say it in front of a teen?
relationshop issues, sex issues, health issues, parental aging issues!! I love having people’s kids/ teens there but there’s things people need to get off their chest and their friends are who they need to say it to!!!

“Actually - would it be ok if we rearrange to another time when we can have an adults-only evening?”

Sounds awful OP. We have a family we dine with regularly and the accepted practice is that after meeting and greeting all the kids (theirs and ours) go and watch a film or something else that has been arranged. They sometimes all join us for dinner or have their dinner together in the TV room. We only see our kids after that at home time, or if they come to ask if they can stay and sleepover. This way adults and kids all get the best time for them.