To feel hurt about not being invited to party

It feels like it’s a rejection but it’s really not. Other people in the village won’t have been invited, you also don’t know who organised it for him. If I were organising a party for a parent I’d contact the people I know. At 80 he’s probably got a fair few kids, grandkids, cousins, mates etc. It’s probably quite easy to get to 150 people tbh. From what I understand about small villages it can take a while to break in and you sound like you have a great social life.

Don’t take it to heart.

Callous? To give an honest opinion? Come on.

You are not his friend, you're an acquaintance who happens to have taken part in some of the same organised events that he and his wife have attended in the few years that you've lived in the same village.

YABU.

An 80th is likely to include loads of family and friends who his family know, as opposed to the individuals local and recent (relatively) contacts.
That said, in our village, I have realised the really long established families do not really consider 'incomers' as close friends- and I've been here almost 15 years! You can grow close with others who are newer, with less relations literally in the same street. I know you are beyond this stage, but I found the long established families had no clue as to what it was like to find babysitters when Granny, Aunty or nephew could step up with a moments notice.

I don’t know why the first replies to this kind of post are always so callous. OP, totally understand why you would feel upset, esp as it was such a large party and you’ve clearly made a conscious effort to put yourself out there ❤️ Is he someone you would want to be a close friend? If not, I would try not to take it too much to heart, though totally get why it hurts.

Are there any individuals you would feel comfortable inviting out for a coffee etc one on one? You may develop better relationships that way, rather than crossing paths at groups or events, which can be nice but a little surface-level?

It wasn’t. Community party though, it was one man’s birthday. So unless you are close friends with him and not just been at village events alongside him then no I dont see why you should be invited

It sounds OP as though you have moved into the type of community where even when you have lived there 30 years you will still be an incomer.
I don't think it's personal to you at all. I think unfortunately this is far too common an attitude .
It's very hurtful, especially when you have made an effort to integrate.

It's wild that you'd be expected to be invited to a party just because you're part of the community and have chatted to someone, rather than actually being a friend or family to this person. I mean absolutely wild. On your logic, he would have had to invite hundreds/thousands of people.