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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

pregnant sister drinking redbull

137 replies

handsoap · 08/09/2024 16:10

i've had 2 children myself, and did no drink any energy drinks due to the fear of what could happen. my sister is 36 weeks pregnant, drinks a 355ml of redbull a day and has multiple coffees a day.

i have told her multiple times that she shouldn't be having so much caffeine as it goes straight through to her placenta and she doesn't listen to me or anyone, she hides it from her boyfriend. i think she forgets it's her own child she has put at risk here, no one else's. she also occasionally vapes.

am i being an *hole for calling her out?

OP posts:
FinallyYouSaid · 08/09/2024 18:06

Yes YABU.

You've said your piece, you've told her a number of times. Unless she's deaf or has memory issues, she's heard you. She's aware.

What she does from that point is up to her. Going on and on about it and 'calling her out' will achieve nothing.

PurpleDiva22 · 08/09/2024 18:02

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 08/09/2024 17:59

Caffeine is a risk in the first trimester.

She's 36 weeks. Leave her alone.

And also throughout the pregnancy as you are giving your baby a caffeine addition who is then forced to go cold turkey once they are born......
"Some reports suggest that children exposed to more than 500 mg of caffeine per day in the third trimester of pregnancy were more likely to have faster heart rates, shaking, increased breathing rate, and spend more time awake in the days following birth"...

Differentstarts · 08/09/2024 18:02

I'm with you on this if I had my way I'd ban energy drinks all together horrible things. However I smoked all the way through my first pregnancy and it honestly made no difference what people said to me I just wasn't interested in hearing it, the first 20 weeks I was still drinking and doing drugs I just didn't care. You just can't make people do things they don't want to do

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 08/09/2024 17:59

Caffeine is a risk in the first trimester.

She's 36 weeks. Leave her alone.

NormalAuntFanny · 08/09/2024 17:57

UpUpUpU · 08/09/2024 16:22

Assuming she is an adult, mind your own business.

My sister smoked through all of her pregnancies. she knew she shouldn't but did anyway. Her life, her baby, her decision.

I find this attitude absolutely baffling, first it's her sister, not some random acquaintance, if your own family can't offer a view ( for good or ill) who can?

Secondly because it's her sister the child has up 50% of her genes, it's not her child but it is close to being that, she should be helping and offering advice if only for selfish genetic reasons.

PurpleDiva22 · 08/09/2024 17:53

pushchairprincess · 08/09/2024 17:21

Will the baby have severe withdrawal symptoms - going cold turkey in effect ? would she cope with a screaming baby for weeks ?? plus any damage to the wee one ?

This is what I would be saying to her at this stage. She clearly knows the risks if she's hiding it from her boyfriend, but knowing she's setting herself up for a few weeks of a crying baby who's missing their caffeine intake might give her a different perspective. If she still doesn't listen after that, you've no choice but to drop it! She's been informed, it's her choice after that!

SmudgeButt · 08/09/2024 17:50

Tell her once fine. Tell her multiple times she's got a right to be upset with you. That's just being a nag.

Devilsmommy · 08/09/2024 17:49

oakleaffy · 08/09/2024 17:39

A young adult ended up {Tragically} as an organ donor after a freak accident.

This young adult was very good at a certain sport and was sponsored by an energy drink company I won't mention.

Young adult's liver couldn't be used because of the ingredients in the energy drink.

But other organs were donated.

Show quote history

That really doesn't surprise me. Imagine the effect on a baby, it's awful

GabriellaMontez · 08/09/2024 17:46

handsoap · 08/09/2024 16:48

her baby has dropped multiple percentiles in weightt/growth. i have been a NICU nurse for 11 years.

i'm not sure why people are offended i'm telling her it isn't good for her or the baby. why has it become a crime to care about my sister and her child?

No one is offended.

They're just confirming that you're an asshole for repeatedly 'calling out' an adult woman.

oakleaffy · 08/09/2024 17:46

handsoap · 08/09/2024 16:48

her baby has dropped multiple percentiles in weightt/growth. i have been a NICU nurse for 11 years.

i'm not sure why people are offended i'm telling her it isn't good for her or the baby. why has it become a crime to care about my sister and her child?

Because people can be selfish, and they carry on drinking booze, taking drugs and vaping {or whatever} throughout pregnancy and don't like the thought of ''being advised what to do''

Pregnancy is 9 months.

So worth being careful for that time to give a child the best start in life, surely.

But people will disagree.

oakleaffy · 08/09/2024 17:43

stripybobblehat · 08/09/2024 17:40

It's not really a reason not to drink it though

Show quote history

I'd definitely not drink that crap when pregnant- it's only 9 months after all.

stripybobblehat · 08/09/2024 17:40

INeedAnotherName · 08/09/2024 17:40

i have told her multiple times that she shouldn't be having so much caffeine

And now you drop it. Unless you want to ruin your relationship with her.

Yes if you've told her multiple times there isn't anything you can do

stripybobblehat · 08/09/2024 17:40

oakleaffy · 08/09/2024 17:39

A young adult ended up {Tragically} as an organ donor after a freak accident.

This young adult was very good at a certain sport and was sponsored by an energy drink company I won't mention.

Young adult's liver couldn't be used because of the ingredients in the energy drink.

But other organs were donated.

Show quote history

It's not really a reason not to drink it though

INeedAnotherName · 08/09/2024 17:40

i have told her multiple times that she shouldn't be having so much caffeine

And now you drop it. Unless you want to ruin your relationship with her.

oakleaffy · 08/09/2024 17:39

Devilsmommy · 08/09/2024 16:12

I'd be more worried about the taurine in it. That shit rots adult stomachs, never mind all the other crap in it that wouldn't be good for a baby aswell

A young adult ended up {Tragically} as an organ donor after a freak accident.

This young adult was very good at a certain sport and was sponsored by an energy drink company I won't mention.

Young adult's liver couldn't be used because of the ingredients in the energy drink.

But other organs were donated.

Original poster
handsoap · 08/09/2024 17:39

handsoap · 08/09/2024 17:38

@ExtraOnions i totally understand. i had been through yeh same with both my kids apparently measuring but my whole pregnancies but born @ 8lbs and 9lbs. but going from 47th centile to 3rd isn't something anyone should take with a pinch of salt.

ahead*

OP posts:
Original poster
handsoap · 08/09/2024 17:38

@ExtraOnions i totally understand. i had been through yeh same with both my kids apparently measuring but my whole pregnancies but born @ 8lbs and 9lbs. but going from 47th centile to 3rd isn't something anyone should take with a pinch of salt.

OP posts:
Dotto · 08/09/2024 17:38

handsoap · 08/09/2024 17:00

@Dotto can i ask where you assumed i am berating her at all? when her baby's growth dropped at her most recent growth scan, she lied to the midwife and said she 'watched' her caffeine intake and is sure she doesn't over step her daily limit.

after she had told us that she is new classes as high risk, i had informed her about the risks of too much caffeine. and she didn't drink any during her first trimester and early second trimester.

she read somewhere on tiktok a can a day is fine.

In your OP you asked if you were the asshole for "calling her out", which sounds a bit berating-like, eh?

stripybobblehat · 08/09/2024 17:37

timenowplease · 08/09/2024 16:51

Do you have any idea why it works for migraines?

I always have Coke in the fridge because it's very effective when I've got a migraine. I can't figure out why it works as tea or coffee doesn't have the same affect.

Show quote history

No I assumed it was the caffiene +sugar

ExtraOnions · 08/09/2024 17:36

I was scanned 2 days before DD was born … she was 10 days over, and the Comsultant said she was a “big baby” .. she weighed 5lb 13oz (I give growth scans a bit of side eye)

xyz111 · 08/09/2024 17:34

It is unfortunately her choice. She clearly knows it's wrong if she's hiding it from her boyfriend. I'd causally mention it in front of him. Maybe he'd have more luck getting through to her.

Cinai2 · 08/09/2024 17:33

I’d be concerned as well. A couple of coffees plus a red bull will definitely push her above the 200mg/day recommendation. But unfortunately I think there’s little you can do as it’s her choice ultimately.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/09/2024 17:29

handsoap · 08/09/2024 17:05

i would love to know what you have to say after what i just updated.

Show quote history

Probably exactly the same - that you're overstepping. You've already given your opinion multiple times and she is perfectly within her rights to not listen to you, rather than perhaps point out that caffeine is given in NICU for assorted issues with premature infants or tell you to butt out.

Her body, her choice.

Buffypaws · 08/09/2024 17:28

kitsuneghost · 08/09/2024 17:14

Tell her she'll have fat kids. That might put her off.

This is a great idea

Original poster
handsoap · 08/09/2024 17:27

@ThisBlueCrab so how do you know how i went across with it? you assume i have been 'lecturing her' this is funny to me.

OP posts: