To still be pissed off

Id be ringing up mates and planing an late night out, drop it on him last min to tell him thats hes looking after the kids today and just walk out before he can process it. Lazy bastard no wonder your leaving him.

I would not allow this freeloader a place in my household.

I think it's well beyond this sort of point-scoring.

He's not going to parent those kids in any significant or meaningful way. OP needs to accept this and put all of her energy into make a new life. I hope she can access a solicitor and perhaps live with her parents for a while for support. The focus now should be on clearing up this mess ASAP and making a stable home for the kids.

Yep.
The day he stays in you go out...no prior notice..or when he gets on from work..you go out on the lash as commented. Let him feel what you felt when he was effing off out with no concerns

Tell him to go on spareroom.com and find a flat share until his mortgage comes through. Wants to act like a student, he can live like one! He can’t be acting like that with kids in the house, whether or not you’re together.

Own or rent
and stop cooking and doing his cleanjng
are you in the same bedroom

Whose house is it?

I'd be giving him a deadline to move out.

As long as you are there @Topshrunk , you are still doing the work.

Nothing is going to change whilst nothing has changed.

He's like an extra child! Unbelievably lazy sod!

Was he always this immature and selfish? What was the initial attraction to him based upon?

Have you seen a solicitor? I'd also call an estate agent round for a valuation, if you own your house. If you are renting, do you want to stay where you are? What are the terms of the lease? Can you and the kids live with your parents for a few years to save money and for practical/logistical assistance?

He's lived like a single man even when you had DC so he's not going to change now. What's this rubbish about having no responsabilty after 9 pm- as a parent he's always a parent- he doesn't get to go out and leave it all to you. If you seriously want him to leave then make it far less comfortable at home- do nothing for him, laundry, cooking, ironing - just do nothing for him and keep it that way until he works out he needs to leave. If the house is in joint names you can't change the locks but you can make him far less comfortable

Dear God just throw him out already. All his stuff in bin bags. Hand them to him at the door. All that money he's spending on nights out he can stick his stuff in storage and stay in a hotel for a few nights whilst he finds somewhere. He won't bother to find anywhere new to live while he has it so cushy. He's having his cake and eating it!
Fuck that. Best of luck op.

What happens to the kids at 9pm? Do they magically disappear until the following morning??? FFS co-parenting is going to come as a shock to this insert name which won't get me banned from MN man 🙄

Wow, he’s going to be in for a shock when he has to look after the kids for a few days a week (if he does of course!). Presuming you don’t do his laundry, cooking etc? As right now, he has the life of a uni student living at home. Make some changes so he gets a taste of things to come. Also assign the days he will have the kids and start that now so he gets used to it!

What do you want from this post?

Stop cooking, cleaning, washing for him.
Draw up a rota for him to be 100% in charge of the children.
He has to find somewhere to live as the relationship is over.
File for divorce as a sole applicant and tick for a financial order.

Stop cooking for him. He can buy/cook his own meals.
Stop doing his laundry.
He can sleep on the couch for X weeks until he must find a new place to live.

Demand he pick up after himself every damn time he leaves his shit anywhere; don't pick it up for him.

Tell him he needs to do his share with his children. He's not 'helping you'. He's doing his share of parenting. And that includes the slog bits. ANd there are many.

Tell him you consider yourselves done, over, separated and file for CMS. Make it formal. And see what else you might be entitled to

Wtf are you doing cooking and washing for him?

What's your housing situation? If you can't get rid of him quickly then he can do his own washing/cooking. He probably won't do any more childcare than he is at the moment, though, he'll see no reason to.

Not necessarily true, she cannot force it depending on their set up. If he refuses to budge, there may be nothing she can do and he could freeload as long as he wants.

Just tell him if he wants the life of a single man he needs to go and be a single man BUT he will be a single man WITH CHILDREN.

Don't let him talk you into accepting low child support because he has a mortgage or get out of visitation.

Time for the twat to grow up.

Right, so he's not destitute if he's got the money to succeed in getting a mortgage. His plans will have to change in the short term and he will have to pay rent somewhere.

Off he fucks.

With respect, what were you expecting? For him to suddenly become a doting father, brilliant around the house and want to hang around with the woman who rejected him? He has no incentive to do anything at all anymore other than stay out of the house, as he was doing the bare minimum so you wouldn’t leave him, but now you have.

Yep I’d also be pissed off, I’d be very much rethinking living together while he finds new accommodation and I’d be taking this as a sign that he’s going to be a useless single parent so I’d be making plans to deal with that on my end. You did the right thing breaking up with him, his priority is clearly not his kids. It sounds like you’ve been doing everything while he swans off so at least soon you’ll have one less person to clean up after

Stop cooking, cleaning and washing for him or he'll never move out if someone is looking after him. What a loser he is. Your poor kids.

What’s the situation re your home? Is it a joint mortgage, joint tenancy etc? Because if so, you’re stuffed. A friend of mine has had to cohabit with her absolute tosser of an ex because he refused to move out until it sold. Nothing she could do. He behaved much like this. Didn’t even pay the bills.

Unfortunately (or fortunately really) it sounds like you will be the main parental carer and he’s going to be every other weekend and Wednesday dad. If you’re lucky. He may settle down once he’s shagged and drunk his way through the split, but most likely he won’t.