To still be pissed off

Good riddance, what a loser

Been in this exact position. We lived in the same house for 6 months until I had a nervous breakdown over his disrespectful behaviour and the constant unease. He moved out and we sold the house. 5 years on and I’m now in a happy and healthy relationship and he’s still on his own after numerous disastrous “relationships”
These men never change.
He needs to move out asap as I can assure you it’s not good for your mental health at all

The people who have raised a man who’s completely uninterested in his own kids? Who are themselves completely disconnected from their GK?

I would also go in first, explain to them what your ex is doing and the impact that’s having on the kids. It’s the only hope I would say.

Is this how you met your ex? Or did you have the house before and met him organically?

The landlord is your almost-ex-partner's dad?!
well, that's a bit of a drip-feed...

If his parents live abroad, who is looking after their property in the UK? Do they have a lettings agent involved? Or was this something their precious son was meant to be doing? Do you actually have a proper tenancy agreement? Is there any chance they'd kick you out to enable their son to live in the house? (which is really easy for them to do, legally)

Have you considered looking for a new place to rent?
This might be quicker than waiting for him to magic up a mortgage.

Personally I think you need to be honest with his parents - that you're trying to put their grandchildren first, and prioritise their needs - that you'd originally said he could stay because you thought this would be best for the kids - however it's become obvious that he isn't stepping up to be a decent parent, and it would be better for them if he stayed somewhere else...

Can you ask your FIL to sell you the property without him being included?

You can have some security for your children, his grandchildren.

I didn’t say that and I certainly didn’t mean it either (that it’s ok). But unfortunately he’s running away and burying his head and pretending that he hasn’t made these choices. You can’t make him see this and face up, only he can come to this realisation. Life- real life- is a stark reality to admit. It’s a rubbish situation for you to deal with his immaturity or disappointment with life. My mum told me (about life) to lower my expectations, which is a miserable bit of advice to dish out to your offspring isn’t it!

I’d take a guess that he doesn’t like his life or his life choices and is trying to escape. He misses his freedom and independence and youth. Don’t we all. His dream has come true for him, as you’ve left him to it. Sad for you and your skid lids though.

She already is. But at least the lazy twat will be gone.

You need to call your fil and tell him how his son has been treating you all and that he can no longer stay. If you control the narrative and not the woe is me tale his son will spin you will have better relationship and no issue with you staying without your husband

I'm not surprised you're still pissed off. However it sounds like he is behaving the same way that's the reason you split, except worse because now he has no reason to try.

I mean, he should have a reason because he has kids, but clearly this reason isn't, and wasn't enough because if it was you wouldn't be asking him to leave/ separate.

I think probably having him living with you is hurting more because now he seems to be behaving like the single person you have told him he now is, but under your roof. If he wasn't living there you wouldn't be seeing this.

I don't think you're wrong to be pissed off, but I think you're perhaps a little naive to expect any different.

So what. Change the locks. Get him out.

I don't know why you were hoping for more respect.

He's a single man now. You ended it. As long as he lives in your house, he has less responsibility than ever.

Get him out for good. Change the locks. Get his name removed. He's an absolute waster.

Pack his stuff and change the locks.

Tenants are allowed to change the locks (often you can just change the barrel) as long as they put them back at the end of the tenancy. It's good form to inform your landlord and offer them copies of the new keys (I'm a LL and always offer a lock change for new tenants as I always change the locks when I move).

It's your house and his behaviour is getting worse toward you. You've no need to do him any favours!

Good for you! I'm same, evening in with kids and film or boardgames are great.
I also see no point forcing him to look after kids as some posters suggest. From what you've said, you can't trust him with anything let alone your kids

Not got to the end of the thread but I'm struggling to see how this separation is on your terms.. you're being completely shafted!

It's not about her turn to go out on the lash, ffs. Why do people always say the OP should have the right to do whatever he's doing?

He's living like a single man. He needs to leave immediately.