I left my marriage 4 years ago, it was miserable and I wanted a better life for my kids. I stayed for longer than I should because i knew how nasty he would be and how difficult he would make my life. And of course that’s exactly what he’s done.
He made me sell the family home as part of the divorce. I couldn’t bare his constant threats, him dictating that I couldn’t have any visitors in ‘his home’ (he had moved to a new home) he would turn up whenever he felt like it even though I was paying the mortgage and all of the bills. I had no privacy and felt under surveillance. He refused to provide his income for the consent order and made a random low figure up. I didn’t fight it because i just wanted to cut all ties. The order was accepted and we split the house proceeds 50/50, he’s since gone on to buy another house.
For all of this time he will only see the kids one night per week, he drops them off the next morning so has them for a total of 12 hours.
He’s openly admitted in the past that he isn’t bothered that this arrangement means i never get a break as this is the ‘path I chose’.
He often cancels at the last minute and offers no alternatives, if I dare object to this he just shuts me down.
He doesn’t provide any clothing and refuses to do so, he pays £150 a month for both kids which barely covers the school costs for one.
He has a good life, weekends away. He’s out every Saturday and goes to the gym daily. He will not come to a compromise or discuss a fairer agreement. I tried to message him this week to say it needs to change and as usual he has threatened me, blackmailed me and told me he doesn’t have ‘time for my nonsense’ and if I do go to CMS he will ‘cause war and only the kids will suffer so I need to think long and hard’.
Ive used the CMS calculator and he should be paying £550 a month based on his earnings which doesn’t include extra income I know he gets. I feel sick thinking about the consequences but I can’t live like this anymore. AIBU to stand up to him or am I just going to make life even harder?