To finally stand up to my EX

Just wondering ... who would vote you are being unreasonable??!

What kind of threats? Because if he's threatening violence, you go to the police. The law applies to him whether he's "afraid" of it or not.

And yes, obviously do the CMS thing. If he has to pay, he has to pay; he can make all the fuss he likes, but you don't need to take any notice.

You talk about him like you're a child and he's your dad or something; like he has some sort of authority over you. He doesn't. Yes, obviously you need to stand up to him. And ignore his texts etc. Your kids will learn from your example how to treat women / what sort of treatment women should accept. It's time to grow a backbone.

Really, he sounds ludicrous. "Reprimand" you? What happens next - he gives you detention. He'll "create war"? How do you go to war against the CMS, exactly? Laugh at him, and start the CMS process.

What on earth does going to war even mean? He sounds ridiculous OP. Realistically there is nothing he can do to make the kids suffer apart from refuse to see them and I would put money on him not doing this. He won’t want you to control the narrative.

Go to CMS. Stop responding to his texts. Only communicate when it’s something you need to know. Keep it factual and absolutely never get involved in anything emotive or conversational.

Him: “You’re such a bitch blah blah blah. If you go to CMS I’m going to make the kids suffer”.

You (two days later): “Are you still picking the kids up from school on Friday as usual”?

He won’t be reasonable. He’ll never do anything to make yours or the kids lives easier.

A complete prick more like.

Go to the CMS and get the ball rolling.

He is a bully and he is trying to control you still. You need to show hi. And your kids that you will not accept being treated like that.

Depending on what the threats are I would also contact women's aid and the non emergency police jumber to report them just to be safe.

Since he pays sod all and does even less what have you got to lose.

Go for CMS and report all his behaviour to the police. Basically you are standing up to him and for yourself.
The police may or may not do anything but at least all the evidence is registered with them. Equally they may have a strong word with him at the minute and that will contain things.

Go cms. Change your number or Block him and give him an email address instead for communication.

I would get a CAO in place. It formalises contact and therefore the amount of CMS.

If he's an asshole (I mean he sounds like one) he could be difficult if you want to go on holiday etc so a CAO also enables you to do that without his further consent for a few weeks a year.

Basically take as much control back as you can.

Do CMS!!

Why are you trying to compromise with an abuser? Do cms tonight, its then done.

He'll never be someone you can be rational with, you know this so stop being a mug.

Worse case he has your kids more, that will swiftly stop when he has to do school runs and stop his gym.

Do it tonight.

Is he likely to push for 50/50 if you put in a claim?

I hope you get sorted. He sounds awful.
But just wanted to say my aunt was in a similar situation with an awful man. He was only really interested in causing her more trauma when she left him.
He had little time for his children. But the as they got older they clicked to how awful he was.
They only saw him every so often. But as soon as they got to round 14 they all without being influenced by my aunt, Went no contact with him.
All adults now with kids themselves.

He is lonely and bitter and tells anyone who will listen that he did nothing wrong and doesn't understand why his kids hate him . He needs them aswell now he is in his 70s and not well . But he made the choice to be an awful dad.
But they all adore their mum who really had to scrimp and save and put up with so much abuse and raised them alone. They have just taken her on a lovely 2 week holiday .

Just go for the CMS. Don't threaten it just do it. So what if he stops having the kids. My ex did not see his kids ever because he was too busy entertaining his new girlfriend (25 he was pushing 50) and her daughter. We managed and then he has no control over you at all.

He’s also a joke

CMS - don't hesitate. This is your children's money and he needs to pay up. If he is employed and PAYE he has nowhere to hide. It will take away all of the comms relating to it and that will honestly help so much and give you some headspace and power. I was where you were and should have done it earlier. Then grey rock completely unless it is a communication to vary child arrangements. With a fixed routine even this should be minimal. Eventually the children will take that over when they are old enough. Just do no engage and reduce any need to communicate to the bear minimum. Sorry you are going through this. It's horrid but does get easier.

Absolutely stand up to him. Also get a ring doorbell and an answer machine and record all calls. Do not take calls from him. Tell him communication will only be via email or text or solicitor and that way all his behaviour will be recorded and you can report him every single time he uses threatening behaviour. He only behaves like this because he is a bully and he k owns he gets away with it.

Sorry how old are the dc? I never text exh back once dc started secondary school..

Don't let him continue to bully you. Go official for child maintenance, get what you deserve financially from him. If he punishes you by having the kids even less, then he's no real father as it's the kids that'll lose out but that will be his choice, and no fault of your own so don't let him or anyone put any blame on you.
You're doing a great job, you're so strong to come this far, see the rest of it through. Stay strong, and just know that your kids will see him for what he is when he's older. These years go by so quickly, you will have more free time eventually but for now your kids need at least one responsible and reliable parent and that's exactly what you are. Well done x

Go to CMS and ignore all communication. I know it’s hard. The kids will work out what he’s like and hopefully he’ll end up a sad lonely man with kids who aren’t interested him!