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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect redress from wedding venue?

117 replies

Coffeeandgranola · 08/09/2024 12:48

Last summer I booked the ceremony venue for my wedding this October. It's a university chapel within the wider campus grounds which have a very unique and atmospheric area for wedding photos. It's a really well-known wedding location in the area and I would say getting these photos is one of the top reasons couples choose it (including us).

When we had our viewing of the chapel ahead of booking we spoke about a range of things with the events coordinator which would have absolutely included at least a passing mention of our photography plans, and no concerns were raised.

I've now - 6 weeks out from the wedding - found out indirectly that this area of the grounds has been booked for 'filming'. From googling I have a good guess what for, and the university will be making £££ from it. I've spoken with the events team to understand the impact on our photos and they've confirmed the area will indeed be inaccessible to us.

I've pointed them to the booking T&C's which say that for photography, they do not guarantee 'exclusive' use of any area of the university grounds which I don't read as the same as having no access at all (when I read that at first I took it to mean there might be other people milling about, there might be belated graduation pictures being taken we would need to work around...). I've also reminded them how all their official social channels for the wedding venue use images of this specific part of the grounds as profile photos, cover photos, lead post images etc. They have offered a different part of the grounds as an alternative but it's in no way comparable.

We've spent a huge amount of effort and money planning our weddings around a specific theme/vibe (e.g. our wedding outfits were picked with this photo location in mind). We have no alternative options for sheltered wedding party photos (mindful of October weather).

AIBU to not let this go and push for some kind of redress? If so, what? The cost of the chapel itself is a drop in the ocean compared to the overall wedding cost.

OP posts:
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Sparklfairy · 12/09/2024 09:11

MartinCrieffsLemon · 08/09/2024 13:12

They've offered another area, booking says you might not get use of an area and presumably you'll get everything else in the package

They aren't denying you anything.

Might not get exclusive use, which is very different.

The consumer rights act says that if a contract term like ^this is open to interpretation, then the consumers prevails. Add to that that all their marketing had pics of that area and they didn't inform you you wouldn't have access when you hired the venue, and you're within your rights to ask for redress.

Misrepresentation by omission and reckless Misrepresentation* induced you to enter the contract which, by the sounds of it, you wouldn't have if you'd known you wouldn't have access to that area?

*that's assuming they knew at the time of booking and just didn't mention it. It's much worse if they took that booking after accepting yours.

Toomanyemails · 12/09/2024 08:48

Not guaranteeing exclusive use is totally different from not guaranteeing use! Does the contract specifically mention this area? If so, it may be that they need to give you some use, though I'm sure they've drawn up a contract that favours them. They must know this area is a big draw and should have been clear about this much earlier. They should be looking for a solution for you.
I like the suggestions of a PP about photos at a later date or on your first anniversary. Most people in the wedding industry love seeing couples have their day, so if you can explain how much you were looking forward to that area, and how you've built your day around it, they may understand.

abs12 · 12/09/2024 08:37

What exactly does it say? Exclusive use not guaranteed does not mean partial use. The T&Cs will have been legally drafted so they'll be hard to argue but it will be about the exact terminology. I think it is unfair but you will likely need to settle for a goodwill offering. As a previous poster said, state exactly what you want as compensation eg later access, discount etc and go from there. Good luck.

CovertPiggery · 12/09/2024 08:26

ReadWithScepticism · 12/09/2024 08:12

"do not guarantee 'exclusive' use of any area of the university grounds" does NOT imply that they do guarantee some degree of use of the grounds. It sounds like the OP has just booked the chapel, and that the grounds do not form part of the booking whatsoever.
Her reason for being upset is only that the venue's marketing relies heavily on the popularity of the grounds, not that she has actually booked use of the grounds.
She also says that the cost of the venue itself is relatively small, so any monetary compensation they might give would likely not be of much significance in any case.
If it were me, I would try to remind myself that the wedding is about the day itself, about the promises you make to one another, and about sharing those promises with your friends and family. It is crazy to let all that be eclipsed by such a preoccupation with photos. It's like she is treating the whole thing in the same way as the people who have booked the place for filming - like it was just raw material for some images. This is a wedding, not a production.

Edited

But if all the advertising, brochures etc is photos of people in the location that is the draw and they didn't tell OP that it might not be available, that is incredibly misleading.

I do think OP should go on social media if the venue don't negotiate something with the film crew as I'd want to know if I was considering booking the venue hoping to use the specific photo op they advertise themselves for (assuming that is the case), but there was a chance it might not be available.

Very sneaky of them not to make is really clear that it might not be available.

ReadWithScepticism · 12/09/2024 08:12

"do not guarantee 'exclusive' use of any area of the university grounds" does NOT imply that they do guarantee some degree of use of the grounds. It sounds like the OP has just booked the chapel, and that the grounds do not form part of the booking whatsoever.
Her reason for being upset is only that the venue's marketing relies heavily on the popularity of the grounds, not that she has actually booked use of the grounds.
She also says that the cost of the venue itself is relatively small, so any monetary compensation they might give would likely not be of much significance in any case.
If it were me, I would try to remind myself that the wedding is about the day itself, about the promises you make to one another, and about sharing those promises with your friends and family. It is crazy to let all that be eclipsed by such a preoccupation with photos. It's like she is treating the whole thing in the same way as the people who have booked the place for filming - like it was just raw material for some images. This is a wedding, not a production.

purplehair1 · 12/09/2024 07:52

Ask if you can speak to the location manager. (I am one). We filmed at a school recently and had to bend over backwards to accommodate a wedding which had booked prior to our schedule being known. Film crew are human too and know how important weddings are! I met the bride and groom prior to filming and they were lovely. We had dressed a part of the building where they were getting their wedding photos and to be honest it looked very beautiful and they were delighted to be able to use it for photos as we left the dressing in place.

Spondoolies · 11/09/2024 11:39

I think the venue is out of order, But look, if it’s Bridgerton this could be an amazing opportunity for you to get a photo with cast members!

marcopront · 11/09/2024 05:40

@Jeclop

The OP quoted the wording on the contract which simply states she does not have EXCLUSIVE use of any parts of the grounds. It does not mention full use to be withheld, nor that any areas are excluded from the hire. By definition this gives her use of the spaces. Not exclusive use, but yes use.

The OP quoted one line from the contract.
We don't know what else it says.
It might specify something about parts of the grounds not being available.

StormingNorman · 10/09/2024 21:17

Jeclop · 10/09/2024 20:33

The OP quoted the wording on the contract which simply states she does not have EXCLUSIVE use of any parts of the grounds. It does not mention full use to be withheld, nor that any areas are excluded from the hire. By definition this gives her use of the spaces. Not exclusive use, but yes use.

It says they don’t guarantee exclusive use of the grounds…not that she will be guaranteed shared access to all parts of the grounds.

OP has non-exclusive use of the grounds.

StormingNorman · 10/09/2024 21:11

Exclusive use of the grounds.

It is deceptively vague. It seems like you and most posters on the thread interpreted that as shared access to all areas.

Whereas the university are applying it to mean you have the use of some of the grounds.

RhubarbStrawberry · 10/09/2024 20:35

CovertPiggery · 10/09/2024 20:30

It might not be in the contract, but if all the photos in the brochure/website/other advertising show couples with photos in that particular area, it's incredibly misleading at the very least.

Very poor customer service.

Maybe go on social media - they won't want other people being put off booking weddings there if that particular location is the main draw. It sounds like they don't make it clear that it might not be available.

Yes. It would be helpful to other people to know they might not be able to use the area they are expecting.

Jeclop · 10/09/2024 20:33

marcopront · 10/09/2024 19:18

How do you know they guarantee use of this particular part of the grounds?
We don't know what the contract says.

The OP does have use of part of the grounds.

The OP quoted the wording on the contract which simply states she does not have EXCLUSIVE use of any parts of the grounds. It does not mention full use to be withheld, nor that any areas are excluded from the hire. By definition this gives her use of the spaces. Not exclusive use, but yes use.

CovertPiggery · 10/09/2024 20:30

marcopront · 10/09/2024 19:18

How do you know they guarantee use of this particular part of the grounds?
We don't know what the contract says.

The OP does have use of part of the grounds.

It might not be in the contract, but if all the photos in the brochure/website/other advertising show couples with photos in that particular area, it's incredibly misleading at the very least.

Very poor customer service.

Maybe go on social media - they won't want other people being put off booking weddings there if that particular location is the main draw. It sounds like they don't make it clear that it might not be available.

marcopront · 10/09/2024 19:18

Jeclop · 10/09/2024 12:46

I'd be fuming! They don't guarantee exclusive use but they do guarantee use and you are not getting it.
They have been extremely unfair but doubt they will back down.
There was a suggestion further up requesting they grant ton access on a separate date / wedding anniversary. Whilst not the same, it could be a fair compromise.

How do you know they guarantee use of this particular part of the grounds?
We don't know what the contract says.

The OP does have use of part of the grounds.

Jeclop · 10/09/2024 12:46

I'd be fuming! They don't guarantee exclusive use but they do guarantee use and you are not getting it.
They have been extremely unfair but doubt they will back down.
There was a suggestion further up requesting they grant ton access on a separate date / wedding anniversary. Whilst not the same, it could be a fair compromise.

Makingchocolatecake · 10/09/2024 06:18

When does the filming start/end? Could you go earlier/later/different day for ectra photos? (Even if it's just you two on your own).

AGoingConcern · 10/09/2024 06:11

I'm sorry, OP. I fully understand why you're upset.

I think taking a detailed look at the contract is important. You've said that it only says that you aren't guarenteed exclusive use of any of the grounds. Unless it explicitly says elsewhere that a booking includes access to this area then I suspect their argument will be that a booking of the chapel simply doesn't include the grounds in the same way that a booking of a city venue doesn't include the street out front. The reason you can't be guaranteed exclusive use is that you haven't actually booked that area, in other words.

But even if they don't have a contractual obligation, that doesn't mean the way they've handled this acceptable customer service (forgive the term, I don't mean that flippantly and weddings are not the equivalent of buying a sweater). I think you'd be right to talk to them and explain that you would likely have chosen a different venue if you knew and you're deeply unhappy that you weren't told earlier. Others have given you some good suggestions for what you could ask for as a partial make-good.

I'll also echo the sentiments of some others suggesting not to let this become too overblown in your mind. Your wedding will be marvelous because it's your wedding - a celebration of your love for each other and the love your friends and family have for you both.

Oblomov24 · 10/09/2024 05:25

Also, on the actual day, the film crew might be pleasant (let's hope, rather than curt and nasty) and they've got to take a break some time? Could you negotiate with them and nip in for a few minutes.
Plus do film crews film 9-5pm? Couldn't you go early morning, or later and use it then? I bet something could be arranged. Wedding place just doesn't care enough to even bother.

Oblomov24 · 10/09/2024 05:17

Op has every right to be hacked off. I'd email back and remind her of what she said on xth date (when you last spoke) and that she agreed, or inferred xxx, and that there's a huge difference between inaccessible and "No they said they might not get exclusive use which is different". I'd ask for a reduction in price. And one or all of DoYouReally's good list:

• an opportunity for you and you STBH to dress up in wedding outfits again and take some photos at a later date
• Access on your first anniversary to take some photos
• An opportunity to discuss with thr film crew what may be opposite on the day
• A discount on current costs (can't see it being much)

tuvamoodyson · 10/09/2024 04:39

EarlofShrewsbury · 08/09/2024 13:59

I thought the same about Harry Potter but my mind went to Glasgow Uni.

Yes, the cloisters.

Ducksgalore · 10/09/2024 00:34

It's not ideal for your photos, but the venue will be under a strict NDA within their location agreement for filming to not disclose any information, which unfortunately will mean no access for the general public to the area so there are no leaks to the press - the set could be a significant point in the story.

Usually when I've dealt with venues around issues like this, they've been negotiated into conttact to allow access etc.

pollymere · 09/09/2024 22:02

I'd try to get the venue to negotiate a time when you can have photos taken there or a discount. It really is damaging to their reputation to have done this.

AbraAbraCadabra · 09/09/2024 19:08

CrossUniStudent · 08/09/2024 14:58

I wouldn't be happy and would definitely be pushing this further. I agree 'not exclusive use' does not indicate no use of any area. Just that no area will be able, to be used exclusively by your party.

This. I would be arguing based on this. I also agree wit would be a good idea to get a solicitor to review the contract and draft them a letter. What fuckers. They will have completely known what they were doing and it’s incredibly unethical at the very least.

FranceIsWhereItsAt · 08/09/2024 23:28

While I can totally understand how disappointed you must be OP, as long as the alternative area they have offered is a nice spot, then I would certainly try not to get too hung up on this. For a lot of couples, once the ceremony has taken place the photos can actually feel like a bit of an intrusion into your special day, as everyone is itching to get to the reception, and chat to the newly weds. We all have them done, as we know it's the only actual record we'll have of the day, but I think you'll find that it doesn't seem such a big deal on the day, as it feels now.

It's really weird, but we all get so hung up about everything to do with our wedding day, wanting it all to be perfect, and don't realise at the time that it is literally just a few hours out of our life, and a teeny weeny part of married life. I've been married 25 years now, and rarely even think about our wedding day, let alone get the photos out, and I'm lucky enough to have been VERY happily married during that whole time. Sadly, for a lot of couples, the wedding photos end up in the bin within a few years!

With regard to making a claim, I would try and ascertain at what point the venue agreed to the filming, and assuming that it was AFTER you made your booking, use this as part of negotiations. Discuss with the person or people who will be paying for the venue, (it may just be you and your partner, although could be parents, etc.) what you feel is reasonable compensation, and then based on this, write / email the organisers stating how disappointed you are, that you were seduced into booking the venue by the photographs that they use in their own publicity shots, and have based your whole theme on being able to have photographs taken in this one particular spot. Point out that at no time were you made aware that there was ANY possibility that this area would be totally unavailable to you, even though you were aware that you would not be entitled to exclusive use of it, and had you been aware of a chance that you couldn't use this area, you would not have booked. Then clearly state what you want from them by way of compensation. Be prepared to haggle if you feel you stand a chance of getting a reasonable offer, even if it's not exactly what you would like, but as I said previously, don't let it spoil the day, as with hindsight, it really won't matter one bit in a few years time. Good luck with the wedding, and your future married life.

TimbuktuTimbuktu · 08/09/2024 22:44

Unlikely to be Greenwich as the chapel and the grounds are owned by a charitable foundation not the university, they just rent the buildings.

If it is though you can generally get around the site when filming is happening and it's big enough that you should be able to get some good pictures from one direction or another.

Even when they have a massive production in and turn the streets into a Victorian cattle market they still have to let students access the buildings so there is always a route you can use.

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