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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for feeling soo upset about this?

68 replies

RoxyAlex77 · 08/09/2024 09:06

My father has invited a stranger into my house for 10 days -she is the daughter of some friends of his - I haven't met his friends either. I have moved to a different country 16 years go and my relationship with him is not close. I am expected to pick her up/ drop her off to the airport, shop and coook for her, take her out sightseeing. 😣

OP posts:
PearlMonster · 08/09/2024 09:23

Why so passive? If it doesn’t work for you, say so.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 08/09/2024 09:22

Call him /email him back and say no. You are busy but even if you weren’t, you don’t want a stranger in your house. You are sure she’s lovely, but you still don’t want to offer your house to her or anyone else.

CelestialNexus · 08/09/2024 09:20

Refuse, guessing you're an adult?

skippy67 · 08/09/2024 09:20

Just say no.

GrumpyOldCrone · 08/09/2024 09:18

Some people love having visitors. I do not. The only person who has stayed in my house for that length of time is my mother, who is a good guest, and I’ve known her all my life. If someone (even my father) tried to foist a random guest on me, I would absolutely refuse.

If your father gets angry with you, let him be angry. Your comfort is more important than his embarrassment with his friends in this situation.

Catza · 08/09/2024 09:18

Why didn’t you say no?
My family regularly ask if so-and-so can stay. I hosted my aunt’s friend’s daughter once when she was coming over to apply to flight school. Never met her before in my life but she is a lovely girl and I adore her mum. My house is open for people to stay but I always make it very clear the the offer is “bed only” and they are to make their own arrangements otherwise.

longdistanceclaraclara · 08/09/2024 09:17

Well clearly you're busy and won't be able to facilitate this. Tell him.

Fraaahnces · 08/09/2024 09:17

I’d absolutely refuse. That’s bonkers. I would demand a significant bond and daily board and keep and let him know that you work full time and won’t be playing your guide.

Createausername1970 · 08/09/2024 09:15

Also, ask for her contact details. I suspect even if you say no, this may not be relayed back down the line.

Contact her directly and say you have found out that your dad has made these arrangements, but they were without your knowledge and unfortunately this just isn't going to be possible.

You shouldn't have to do this, but if you don't get anywhere with your dad it will be the best was to stop it.

OnlyWhenILaugh · 08/09/2024 09:14

How the hell did that come about? Unless the first you knew of it was her ringing on your doorbell, there must have been a conversation and opportunity to say "No" ?

simpledeer · 08/09/2024 09:11

Just say no, that doesn’t work for me.

PinkyFlamingo · 08/09/2024 09:11

You are "expected" but that doesn't mean you have to do it surely?

LittleGreenDragons · 08/09/2024 09:10

When did you find all this out? If it was weeks ago what did you say to your father? If it was the day before you are going to have to tell this stranger you can't take them sightseeing or provide free food. I would however take them to/from airport but the rest if it, no chance.

When are they due over?

Alalalala · 08/09/2024 09:10

Say no. He’s being ridiculous.

Createausername1970 · 08/09/2024 09:10

I would be annoyed. Does he have history of being controlling?

You can just say "no".

Hadalifeonce · 08/09/2024 09:09

If you don't want her there, tell him he needs to make an alternative arrangement.

VainAbigail · 08/09/2024 09:09

“No dad, that’s not happening” is surely the only response to this?!?!?!?

TwinklyAmberOrca · 08/09/2024 09:07

You're an adult. SAY NO!!!

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