Part of being an adult is ensuring the house is secure, right?

I once got home "not that drunk" but realised next morning that I must have been completely off my face because the front door wasn't even shut, let alone locked. I lived in a high crime area so was very lucky not to be robbed or worse. Only happened the once, though.

As a one-off, assuming he was contrite, I'd forgive and forget. However, if it speaks to a wider pattern of behaviour and he's not remorseful and doesn't think you should be upset about it, I'd be furious.

If my DP didn't lock up one night, my reaction would be to think 'Blimey, DP must have forgotten to lock the back door! Oh well, no harm done' and then get on with my day. Because nobody's perfect and we all forget to do stuff now and again.

So, as this man is your 'soon to be'; ex, I'm guessing you're only really so annoyed about this because you can't stand him. In other words: it's not really about the gate.

🤣🤣🤣

I can't imagine why🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@StealthSpinach Hmm 🤔 trying to figure out why he’s your ex 🤭

My ex left the garage door open all night several times.
My garage has a non-locking sliding door which opens into the living room.
We are on a main road, so anyone could have seen it open and come in.
He also left the house and letterbox keys in the lock of the letterbox at the bottom of the driveway, and front and back doors open at various times.
He did also set the oven on fire and stuffed the vacuum by trying to vacuum up water and glass…

I’ve done this a couple of times. I just forgot. My DH didn’t go off the deep end. He just doubled checks now.

I think it really depends on the men. Most of the men in my life including the ones I grew up with are very responsible when it comes to securing windows and doors etc. And you’d think married men with kids would be a bit protective of their family?

It’s not even just men, I lived with a female flatmate who used to leave the front door unlocked during the day which was just a big no no in East Croydon. When I pulled her up on it after it happening a few times she just kind of giggled and said she was too used to her safe hometown in Sweden.

I told her straight she wasn’t there anymore and she better start locking the door or I’d move out and she’d pay the rent herself.

Honestly I think that men just don't have the same sense of needing security like women do. We are always taught to be careful and lock doors, etc. My DP is the same, has left doors unlocked or even ajar overnight!

YANBU. I call it the closing shift and I do it every night because I can't trust everyone else in the house to do it properly even though DH is usually pretty good. I can't relax until I've made sure the house is tidy and secure.

Doesn’t solve the underlying issues but could try this to help security

• door locks set up in a way the door can’t then be opened on the outside with a key (but it’s not technically locked so wouldn’t be covered under insurance if someone got through with a credit card type card or similar opening mechanism)
• ring or blink lights with cameras - easy to install if you have an existing light

Unless you have a dog or something I don't see why if you locked it before you go up it would need to be unlocked again.

Not if one is already in bed asleep

Mine once left the front door unlocked with the keys in the outside of the door all night.

Also multiple other examples of him not locking the front door late at night (comes home from work late) or leaving for work when the rest of us are out and i arrive home to an unlocked door.

We've had MANY arguments about this. I send him lots of reminders which i hate doing but have no choice.

He can be careless and absent minded especially when tired or distracted.

I would say you are both adults and both responsible for locking the doors at night.

I’ve been reminding my DP to start locking the doors during the day. Not because of crime as we are somewhere very safe but our toddler can open doors now. The other day a carer got the wrong house and let herself in while I was sitting in the lounge in my dressing gown and not a lot else breastfeeding. Yanbu.

YANBU he sounds so inconsiderate and irresponsible.

I used to live in a houseshare with me and one woman on the ground floor and two guys on the upper floor. One or both of the guys used to leave the back door ajar then go upstairs and I’d come out and be fuming.

If anyone or anything had got in they’d have probably entered my room first or the other girls bedroom as it was closest to front door. Hated living with those guys. They were also incredibly messy in the kitchen and bathroom.

oh i am sorry, too early,

due to finances he is NOT moving out.
but he is irresponsible

He's not moving out due to finances.

I frequently forget to lock my doors, however I have a dog who would rip apart any nighttime intruder for daring to disturb his sleep. If you don’t have a reliable anti intruder deterrent then you really should be remembering to lock the doors.