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AIBU?

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five years of nosy neighbours

80 replies

Angharadbach · 07/09/2024 19:52

We moved in to our home five years ago, a small cul de sac of about 15 houses. Directly across from us is a couple, late 70s, have a car etc, but spend a lot of time at home.
When we first moved in they would spend a lot of time at the window watching what we were doing. I didn't mind, as we renovated the property and there was a lot going on so obviously was going to draw attention.
My problem is, it has never stopped. FIVE YEARS!

Every time there's a workman at my home, they're both in the window.
I had a guy cutting a large hedge next to the house last week - he was here for about an hour and a half, and every time I checked on him one or both of them were in the window watching. At times they wouldn't have been able to see him, but they still waited for him to come back round to the front. The guy commented on it. "They're nosy, ain't they?"
I understand that they're bored (another neighbour has told me this), but I feel like I'm in a goldfish bowl. Every delivery I have they'll appear at the window, every workman, every visitor, even when I'm pottering about in the front garden they'll be there, just watching
I had an ambulance to my home late last year ... and yeah, you guessed it ...

I've put up and shut up for five years. I probably should have waved or something early on, but it feels too late now.
problem is, they don't speak to us, never have done. I have tried. They don't want to know, yet they do this.
They're also the biggest gossips in the street. They commented to another neighbour about how many deliveries I get (only a few a month!). That neighbour then told me what they'd said and I told her that they don't talk to us but watch our every move. It didn't solve anything, but I was glad someone else in the street knows what goes on.
AIBU for thinking this is abnormal, rude and, to be honest, downright bloomin creepy?

OP posts:
BettyBardMacDonald · 08/09/2024 08:31

Hilarious suggestions!

I'd just be happy that they are quiet.

Poettree · 08/09/2024 07:53

This thread reminds me of these Australian/Italian comedians. At least you will never be burgled.
https://www.tiktok.com/@sooshimango/video/7178408574069034241?lang=en

TikTok - Make Your Day

https://www.tiktok.com/@sooshimango/video/7178408574069034241?lang=en

DaisysChains · 08/09/2024 07:43

They're also the biggest gossips in the street. They commented to another neighbour about how many deliveries I get (only a few a month!). That neighbour then told me what they'd said and I told her that they don't talk to us but watch our every move. It didn't solve anything, but I was glad someone else in the street knows what goes on

reread this back to yourself and be very wary of 3rd neighbour as they might well be a pot stirrer and behind the escalation of hostilities

I’ve encountered this before, a 3rd neighbour that knows everyone’s comings and goings themselves and get their entertainment from playing their neighbours off against one and other until a minor issue becomes a war - and they, 3rd neighbour, master manipulators, get a ringside seat to laugh at how stupid everyone else is

eg neighbours watching at first out of initial wariness of you being new but trying to hide it because they know it might make you uncomfortable

3rd neighbour then says to them ‘oh I heard X about new (you) woman’ so curiosity gets them focusing more on you

3rd neighbour delights in how uncomfortable you now look

so time to ramp it up by ensuring you don’t just go speak to them - 3rd neighbour tells you neighbours have said you have too many parcels

now you are uncomfortable and angry and highly unlikely to have a friendly chat with neighbours but ofc now ‘trust’ 3rd neighbour - so confide in them that the neighbours are always watching you and you don’t like it

happy days for 3rd neighbour! off they scurry to inform neighbours you’ve been calling them nosy busybodies!

so maybe now they are nosy and also angry - why hide being nosy? why not be more nosy, more obvious - and thank goodness for 3rd neighbour telling us about that nasty bitch new neighbour slagging us off, we can rely on 3rd neighbour..

all of the above is possibly not what’s happened at all 😆 but frankly the only 2 neighbours you know for sure that have gossiped are 3rd neighbour and yourself about your other neighbours

so I would be inclined to take everything 3rd neighbour says as potential bullshit whether or not you want to try and speak to your elderly neighbours

I totally understand how hateful it is to be watched, I also know how easy it is for someone to manipulate our fear or annoyance for their own ends

it’s a tough one all round and I hope something shifts for you in your situation, I just would urge caution about any attempt to escalate or exact revenge - that might only make things worse

Gettingbysomehow · 08/09/2024 07:00

I'm a wiccan please let me come over and perform rituals in and around your property. Honestly I'd give them something to look at for sure.
I'd probably post them a note encouraging them to take up golf.

missdeamenor · 08/09/2024 06:26

You shouldn't be so damn fascinating. Having parcels delivered and work done - my goodness, you'll be getting the windows cleaned next.

It's so bloody annoying but there are many people who have nothing better to do.

jennywrites · 08/09/2024 05:44

I would get overly friendly. Every time I spotted them I'd start waving enthusiastically and head over towards their house and ring the bell. When they answered I'd stand chatting aimlessly until it was obvious they were fed up.
And repeat every time! They'd soon stop!

LunaNorth · 08/09/2024 05:12

Some ideas to try…

  1. Change your WiFi password to stopstaringatmyhouseyounosybastards.
  2. Flash your tits at them every time you go past the window.
  3. Invest in some life-size cardboard cutouts and install one in each window. You could have Bruce Forsyth in the living room window, Gareth Southgate in one bedroom, The King in another, Taylor Swift peering out of the dining room…
  4. Leave a couple of pairs of binoculars and a packet of popcorn on the doorstep with a note saying, ‘For later. Trust me, you don’t want to miss this.’
  5. Every time you notice one of them staring, fold your arms and stare them out. Just stand there with a Paddington Hard Stare on until they give up. (I’d actually do this).
BoreOffAboutYerChickensEmma · 08/09/2024 03:55

Get this sign asap.

five years of nosy neighbours
NeedBiggerWindChimes · 08/09/2024 03:25

Any way you can block them out? I overlook our neighbour's back yard and can see everything. They don't really have any privacy out there. I don't really have sympathy because they bought a house that was overlooked by choice. I do have one way reflective glass in that window so they can't see us in that area, but it doesn't give them any privacy.

Grow some fast growing hedges or something?

Happyinarcon · 08/09/2024 03:17

I would feel pretty safe leaving my house for holidays if I thought the neighbors were keeping an eye on things.

DeathpunchDan · 08/09/2024 03:12

I have really nosey neighbours. One way mirrored film on the windows is brilliant.
I got the static cling type rather than adhesive, and the rubber- necking has stopped.

Nat6999 · 08/09/2024 02:40

Put signs up warning CCTV is in operation.
Invite friends over & everyone take a window to nosy out of at them.
Do you have a neighbourhood Facebook or WhatsApp group? Take pictures of them nosying & post on there.

Etincelle · 08/09/2024 02:39

I like the Mr Bean idea.
Have you seen the Mulberry Close episode of Inside No 9 about the nosey neighbours? Love that.
I'm surprised they don't have nets or voiles up so they can spy without being seen. You'd never have known you were being spied on.

pinkgown · 08/09/2024 02:10

Maybe they are lonely? Why don't you invite them round for coffee?
Or perhaps they are bloggers and making a fortune rambling on-line about the comings and goings of the neighbourhood?

Whitesapphire · 08/09/2024 01:56

I really don’t think I could live like that, just flick them the V sign and mouth ‘fuck off’ every time you see them staring.

glittercunt · 08/09/2024 01:13

JadePinkFlower · 07/09/2024 20:53

Honestly my Mum is in her 80’s and notices everything. She can’t get out much, and this is her daily life.

She takes in parcels for people, where she can.

One day your neighbours will save you from being burgled, or be able to give a good description of the perpetrators.

Just be friendly. The being watched issue is more your issue as you said.

From the sounds of it, NN will just stand in the window and watch the burgling.

Ebeneser · 08/09/2024 00:45

It is annoying, but there's nothing you can do about it really. Just don't give it any headspace. If they are in their 70s you might not have to put up with it much longer anyway.......
I'd do what @spiderlight suggested and get a cardboard cut out for the window 😂

sarahzbaker · 08/09/2024 00:41

Wave and smile ALL the time.
They won't want to reciprocate so you can feel naughtily evil and still be an introvert.
I'm absolutely the same as you. Introverted.
Bwahahahaha

spiderlight · 08/09/2024 00:33

Get one of these and stand it in your window to freak them out.

FloofPaws · 08/09/2024 00:15

A classic case of not having enough to do!! People are a pain when they don't have enough to occupy themselves ... I'd keep waving at them, I'd you have workmen tell them to do the same, hopefully it'll shame them into stopping!

MrsChestnut · 08/09/2024 00:10

I think it’s creepy af

are you an incredibly interesting person and they just can’t get enough of your antics?

Edingril · 08/09/2024 00:05

I have no idea what my neighbours are up too and don't care if they know what I am up too but if they crossed a line I would have to stage weird things outside to make them wonder

Maybe odd maybe creepy but if they are that nosy I would give them something to be really nosy about

SpiderGwen · 07/09/2024 23:48

Wave very, very enthusiastically
Mime "want a cuppa?"
Hold up a sing saying "Can I Help You?"

Just attack it head on, OP.

Thevelvelletes · 07/09/2024 23:35

I'd put reflective film on the windows so they see fuck all but themselves.

Parkmybentley · 07/09/2024 23:05

That's hilarious. One on each floor just gazing out endlessly. Christ they must have no life whatsoever!

We have a set of these opposite us. But they are more subtle than your set. Ours keep their slatted blinds mostly closed and just peer between the slats so it's difficult for us to notice them peeping. Slatted blinds upstairs and downstairs. Never know which room they're peeping from 👀

To be honest they sound like ideal neighbours. Quiet, no loud parties or drugs etc. No bin or parking drama. Get some sheer curtains for daytime? Or one way mirror window film to really piss them off.