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AIBU?

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What’s wrong with having close friendships with men at work?

28 replies

Woul67 · 07/09/2024 18:13

I work in the City, and most of my peers are male. Our place of work is high-pressure, toxic, etc., and naturally, since you work together, you offload to one another, do coffees, lean on each other for support, seek advice, and give advice. You tell each other all kinds of personal stuff. On my level, unfortunately, all sector heads are male, and I am close to one of them in particular. He’s a good, supportive colleague, and he calls me often for support and equally goes out of his way to help me. For context, we are both married and middle-aged.
Now that we are back in the office with more people around, there were some comments on how close we are. It’s just irritating. He is close with another male colleague, but no one ever comments on their relationship. So what is a woman in the City supposed to be doing? Not having any close work friendships?!

OP posts:
AutumnLeeeeves · 07/09/2024 18:25

Meh. My best mate is a man. He is also my boss. We are both happy in other relationships and there has NEVER been a suggestion of anything between us. No one comments about it at work.

Or, they do, and they're just very good at keeping it behind our backs Hmm

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 07/09/2024 18:24

Absolutely nothing wrong with it, I actually work in a more female dominated field but done of my closest colleague friend are male and my best friend outside of work is male, we've known each other our whole lives, platonic mixed sex friendships are completely possible but if you say that here you get called a cool wife. Which is an insult....

stripybobblehat · 07/09/2024 18:21

There's nothing wrong with it. Some people are just bored and assume you're shagging as they are incredibly narrowminded