To not invite dad’s GF to my wedding?

FGS, I can't believe all the male apologists on this thread showing so much sympathy to your father who has behaved like a complete shit frankly.
And I can't believe you are even asking what you should do! Of course you shouldn't invite a gf you have never met when you know how upset your own mother will be!
And all those people saying your mum should "grow up" - well maybe your feckless, unfaithful father could grow up and survive one day without his latest woman. Bloody hell!

I thinks it’s a really easy decision. Tell your dad Gloria is not invited. He’s not even been with her a year and it’s your day and you don’t want drama. Tell him your mum hasn’t been able to move on as easily as him (I presume this won’t come as a surprise to him) and you don’t want to have to worry about an upset mum on your wedding day. It would make you happy to have a calm pleasant parental situation on your special day.
Say you’d love to meet Gloria separately but this is a diplomacy decision. Then ask him to give you away to cheer him up a bit😁

I think I'd send an email with them both copied in. Explain the predicament that you're in, how you'd like both of your parents to attend (Dad with girlfriend) and hope that they can be civil to each other for one day. Explain that this gives them time to think about whether they can all cope with this because you love them both equally and would hate to have to choose. It might go wrong but it also might make them both think. If they both don't come that will then be their decision and not a decision that you have made that they can hold against you going forward.

Normally I'm laid back about these things but in this case I would advise not inviting Gloria. I mean, a girlfriend of only a year? Come on. That's short-term, not an established social unit.

Tell you father you don't want a stranger at your wedding, which is going to be fraught enough with divorced parents and other tensions. You want to have a happy day, not worried about others' relationships.

If he balks at this, it will say a lot about him. A decent man would go out of his way to fulfill a reasonable request. If Gloria accompanies him on the journey, she can find something else to do that day.

I feel for you; what a shit situation to be dealing with. Makes dashing off to elope sound pretty good.

Well Gloria can travel with him for a holiday but probably should sit out the wedding. It's too much.
If you want to meet her during the holiday then fine, but should probably should just be part of a holiday rather than part of the wedding.

I wouldn't want anyone at my wedding that neither of us know, never mind someone whose presence could cause upset, a bad atmosphere or more worrying about how the day will go.

You don't have to invite her. The wedding will be one day in a (by the sounds of it) longer trip they are planning. I think it's a good idea to do as you suggested and arrange to meet up, but not at the wedding. That is, unless she was having an affair with Dad while he was still with Mum - then I wouldn't bother meeting er at all.

It’s not even a proper established relationship. They’ve been together less than a year. Could be history by the end of this year - would you want some random girlfriend of your fathers on the wedding pictures for evermore? Someone whose name you might not remember in five years’ time? Had they been together two years or more, it’s different, but not after such a brief relationship.

I think it is beyond selfish of your DF to think to right time to introduce you to his gf is your wedding day? Nope. It is one day, for you. He can come along, smile, be supportive to you and polite to your mother. You can meet the gf another time.

This happened in our family. Siblings wedding and asked dad not to bring GF. It was the affair partner and was about 2 years after split. Mum wouldn't have managed the wedding with her there. Dad refused to go to the wedding. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Well you're still speaking to your dad and want him there even though you don't see him?

I'd be frank with dad and say mum is still going up the wall with the divorce, so for both your sakes it's best that she doesn't attend the wedding itself and we meet her on another occasion.

As the girlfriend I wouldn't want to be involved in a drama that could spoil your special day.

I would not invite 'Gloria' but meet her separately.

Given your update about your parents getting back together a few times after the initial split and the most recent being a couple of years ago, does your Mother think another reconciliation is on the cards?

Personally, I wouldn't invite the girlfriend. As Father of the bride he won't have much time to spend with his girlfriend. Not inviting someone you have never met eliminates enormous amounts of stress. You won't having to worry about your mum getting upset, all eyes rubber necking the new girlfriend and everyone waiting to see if a big drama will unfold.

Ensure that Dad has someone there? Family member/family friend same as you would for your mum. Your wedding is not the place for his girlfriend's debut. Explain the situation now, it's not personal but it's your wedding

I think you have to invite her, sorry.

Your parents splitting up is their issue and your mum should be able to handle being civil to your dad's GF for one day, for your sake

This.

if it was a long standing relationship, that would be different. Meeting for the first time at your wedding/just before isn’t appropriate.

I wouldn’t stop her coming with him but I think a conversation needs to be had about actually attending the wedding.

However, depending on the meeting/how their relationship is next year, potentially could you keep a place available?

Due to my husband’s parents being divorced and my father dying, we decided against a traditional top table. We had a table with our bridesmaids, best man, MC and a couple of ushers. We then separated our parents out. I think both our mothers were on the same table, with various friends/relatives and my husband’s father was on a different table with friends.

I would have a cards on the table conversation with your Dad

….Mum is going to create havoc if you bring Gloria..Id like a peaceful day. Could Gloria come on the trip with you and we will all four (with your fiance) have dinner together the night before the wedding (or something) …… and then arrange a spa visit or something lovely for Gloria while the wedding is happening so she is not just abandoned during the wedding.

Then if they agree, tell your Mum that Gloria will be there but not at the ceremony/reception. If she creates after that then tell her she can suck it up with the current plan, or not attend and Gloria will be there instead.

Don't invite Gloria. She'll be in all your wedding photos and your dad may well split with her in a couple of months, especially given he has a history of being unfaithful to your mum. I would also give more consideration to your mum's feelings that your dad's. The meal out suggestion with Gloria is a good one.

I feel a bit sorry for your mum, it sounds as though your dad was serially (?) unfaithful and potentially with her sister/friend (?) so she’s bound to be upset. None of that is Gloria’s fault though. I’d invite Gloria for a day out beforehand (while they’re over in the European country) but not to the actual wedding. They might not even still be together by then.

I'm not sure why people think the OP's Mum is the one who should deal with it rather than the OP's Dad having to deal with not having his girlfriend there for the day. It's a much bigger ask of the Mum than the Dad (he can still bring his girlfriend on the holiday, she just has to entertain herself for the day of the the wedding), and the Mum is the one who has been 'wronged' so why is she the one who has to suck it up?

Go for a meal separately with your Dad and his new girlfriend, it's not like you'll get much of a chance to actually get to know her at your wedding anyway.

If he's in an established relationship, particularly if they're living together, you should invite her. It's a bit mean not to, and to make him travel alone.

If i were you I’d be prioritising my mum here. Your dad hasn’t been with Gloria long enough to warrant an invitation - for him to presume she’ll get one when he’s been cheating on your mum all this time suggests you (as a family) are used to sidelining your mum’s feelings.

It isn't 10 years ago. RTFT

THIS

Don’t invite Gloria.
A. You don’t know her (your dad had made no effort prior - wedding is nuclear choice for first meeting)
B. It will be awkward for your mum who is the #2 most impt woman there (next to you)

Gloria you can meet when she joins your dad for the exciting trip to Europe. But no no no to the wedding
She can go do some spa or something

Your dad might not come if she's not invited. Your mum needs to get over it. It's not her day.