To not invite dad’s GF to my wedding?

Would your dad to be the type if you talk to him that perhaps Gloria could come with him but not be attend the wedding. Perhaps have meal with them the day before or after

YANBU not to invite your Dad's gf. She's only been with him for 8 months or so, she's not an established partner, I'm very surprised your father would even expect her to be invited. Why would you even want to invite her if it meant that your mother is going to be extremely upset on what should be one of the happiest days of her life.
It's not like this woman has been with your dad for years and years and you've met her and like her, she's effectively just a random plus one, the relationship may not even last as they've only been together a few months.
If she came you'd have the awkwardness of her not knowing anyone, where would you sit her, assuming you'll arrive with your father, where would she be, she couldn't possibly sit on the top table because that would be even more awful for your mother so where would she sit. So much less stressful for you just to not invite her at all.
I'm sorry if this sounds rude but I imagine that as your father was repeatedly unfaithful he is a selfish man and has given no thought at all to the consequences of bringing this woman to your wedding. I think you should tell him that as things stand it's too upsetting all round and therefore she won't be invited.

Can you have an adult conversation with both your parents and tell them that they will both be expected to be civil at your wedding, your dad's gf will not be invited as you haven't met her and you don't want any drama at your wedding. If they can't agree to that, neither of them are invited. It's one day, they can survive being civil for your sake.

Would you do the same thing if it was the other way around and your mum had a new fella and you thought it would cause problems for your dad?

If they separated 10 years ago but it didn't involve this woman your mum needs to put her feelings to one side. I'd talk to your dad about it first he may agree to her not attending the day to keep the peace but I wouldn't be happy with my mum making it about her.

I was leaning to the "don't invite her" side but actually, she's done nothing wrong. Your parents have been separated for 2 years now and by the time the wedding comes around, it will be more like 3 years. No, tell your mum to grow up!

It's not fair on you, it's your day. It puts you in a difficult position with Gloria. You haven't met her before but you'd already be treating her like the "other woman" even though she's done nothing wrong. She shouldn't have to tiptoe around.

I'd have more sympathy if the break up was more recent. If she's genuinely not being awkward and is really struggling to deal with it, she needs to take responsibility for herself and have therapy. She's got more than enough time to have therapy to deal with her issues and to work in moving on with her life. By the time of the wedding, she might have a new partner herself!

I think your mum is being very unfair. I bet she'd feel differently if she had a plus one. If you give in this time, what happens several years down the line when you're having a christening or a big birthday, basically any family event is she going to demand your Dads GF isn't invited then?

They're divorced. Your Dad has moved on, and hard tho that may be she has to accept that & be adult enough to put her feelings aside for the wedding

@FawnFrenchieMum

Given, as she said in her OP, her Dad lives in her native country & will be travelling 30 hours to get to her wedding, it's pretty much a given she doesn't get to see him regularly.

She's not family or a friend. Don't invite her. She'll ruin the vibe at the wedding and you'll also have to fork out on expensive meals for her.

If you do invite her, maybe don't include her in the family photos. (Of course she'd need to be in any photos of all the guests.)

Who's most likely to wreck your day? Probably not your dad's girlfriend. Presuming your mum's invite is a certainty though!
Can you give both your mum and dad a plus one invite? Or neither? You could cite budget constraints maybe. But the girlfriend will probably be travelling with him anyway, outside of the wedding itself. Perhaps your mum will have come to terms with things a bit more, by the time it happens.

That's all really hard on you. I would be inclined to not invite her and let your dad decline. He was the one who cheated and appears to have destroyed the relationship. I would give first place to my mother, and later on celebrate the occasion with my dad and his new gf another time. The day would be just too awkward with everyone at the same venue.

Interesting to see the mother almost unanimously being called bitter, manipulative and immature on very little detail.

She should just put up and shut up, her feelings don't matter. Even better, she should have just put on a stoic face, and never have confided to anyone the pain the father is putting her through.

Op, I suggest you meet Gloria and if you like her, invite her. Your parents were not together for a long time before she pitched up, she wasn't the home wrecker and is hardly going to take over the family. She's your dad's companion.

Your mum must realise people move on and that this woman is in no way to blame for her splitting from your dad.

It's up to you but inviting Gloria might make your mother realise she has nothing to fear any more. It could be cathartic.

He’s not been with her for even a year? No I don’t think I’d invite her whatever the situation.

I wouldn’t invite her if I had not met her. She could accompany your dad and you could meet up separately but not for the actual wedding. Both she nd your Dad ought to get this. It is a family occasion And she is not part of your family.

I would send a plus one invitation but on the understanding his guest is not part of the wedding party in terms of photos etc. His gf is welcome at the celebrations but she isn't a part of the bride's family. A long term partner would be a different matter.

I would speak to your Dad and say you’re looking forward to meeting Gloria and you think it will be nice to plan a day together close to the wedding. However for the day itself you’d like to keep things simple and intimate with people you are close to.

Of course! For some reason I was thinking they were travelling for the wedding to future DHs country.

Op said they had been separated for several years before divorcing. Girlfriend has been on the scene since some time last year.

He and new gf have been together since end of last year.

Not long enough to justify the tsunami waves inviting her would involve...