To finally accept that I’ve gained weight and this is me now?

I think you misunderstood my post, probably intentionally. I didn't tell the OP to lose weight at all.

If it’s mirtazipine, you could see if you can try trazodone instead. It works in similar way (apparently) but is more of an appetite suppressant than appetite stimulant.

@SaltAir I was only giving my experience of meds that cause weight gain. Idk how my first sentence undermines me offering tips that helped me and others who've taken such meds.

If you thought yourself fat and ugly at size 12 and 5'7", then the voice telling you to think that was your dysfunctional mother's voice,m. She was dumping her dysfunctional relationship with food and with her body onto you.

I'm 5'7"/8" and I looked skinny as a 25yo size 12. 25y later I would look scrawny and unhealthy at size 12. My ideal would be 14 now, but I struggle to maintain it. So I love myself at size 16, and forgive myself when I hit size 18.

I don't know what OMAD is, but I totally get you when you talk about a way of eating that quietens the food noise. For me, that HFLC - high fat low carb. I try to eat generally low-carb, and when I need to get out the box of size 18 jeans I go full-on HFLC. No judgement, no self-reproach, just acceptance.

If your mum doesn't want to be seen out with her healthy, happy daughter who is mindful in her efforts to look after herself and be present for her family, that says a lot more about your mother than about you.

MH is everything. The time will come when it will be better and you can focus on your weight then. Now isn't forever, but you do need to accept how you are now to be OK.

She's eating 1000 calories a day @BobbyBiscuits - she doesn't need diet tips. Your final sentence is totally undermined by the rest of your post.

Is it mirtzapine? That does make me put on weight. Benzos also.
It's great your meds are working.
Could you try and have only healthy things in the house. If you've got grapes, freeze some of them to stop the temptation to eat the whole punnet?
Things like prawns, baby tomatoes, blueberries.
Dates or dried figs are lovely too, very sweet so try and only have one or two.
But increase protein, like more eggs, meat, fish, nuts etc in your main meals.
I'm glad your feeling better. Weight isn't that important compared to MH.

I have tried every diet, workout, everything. It just won’t shift (I was a very successful dieter previously and have lost 4 stone on three occasions relatively easily) this is a whole new ballgame. I currently eat OMAD and don’t exceed 1000 calories most days but still it won’t shift

How much harder do you want her to work? How much stricter are you suggesting she should be?

The posts hinting that the OP should or could lose weight are really horrifying, given the information she's provided.

The fact that your mother would actively encourage her child to struggle and suffer with an unmedicated condition, for the sake of physical appearance, is one of the worst parenting fails I've read on here.

I agree you probably look better ! I’m 5’10 and a size 8-10 and I look awful it’s aged me massively

Your mum sounds awful, OP. I'm sorry you have to deal with her.

Your health is always going to be more important so don't stop taking it! Is it mirtazapine? I gained a lot quickly but did manage to lose it, hard work though! The other benefits outweigh the negatives but I really have to be very strict with food which is a ballache.

You're lucky you're proportionate with your weight. I'm not 😩 when I go over a certain weight it all goes to one place.
If I was proportionate, I don't think I'd care as much.

If I wasn't happy with my size, I'd go back to my gp for help to see what alternative they can offer.
I always thought if you were on a calorie deficit you would lose weight, if you burned more than you consumed.

Is it mirtazapine? I had to stop taking that, I absolutely ballooned from a 9ish stone size 8 to over 11 stone and size 12 so fast. I was having to replace every item of clothing I owned because nothing fit me anymore and the brain fog was unreal. I’m not entirely sure it made any difference to my mental health either. I’ve never got back to the size I was since (although 3 pregnancies in 4 years probably hasn’t helped 😂) with all that being said, if it’s working for you otherwise and the weight situation isn’t a deal breaker then that’s fantastic!

This. You sound lovely and I’m sure you still look fine. Your mental health is just as important so go and enjoy your life. I’d stop doing anything nice for your mum too, if she’s ‘too embarrassed’ to be seen with you, you’ll have to go away without her and leave her to be miserable at home.

Sounds like your mum is maybe projecting onto you how she wishes she was. I can’t stand people who are obsessed with other peoples weight!

You sound amazing. Overall health and well-being is more important than the number on the scales x

OP, you can't stop taking essential medication and you can't eat less than 1000 calories/one meal a day - that in itself doesn't sound very sustainable. This weight gain isn't a problem for anyone except your mother, who has a lot of issues. And you say she's been weight obsessed her whole life and only ended up heavier herself - because that's what dieting does to people. The fact that you need to ask if you're unreasonable for taking meds that make your life so much better for the sake of some weight gain that isn't harming you and isn't making your life worse is very sad.

Make sure you’ve got some lovely clothes that fit you in your wardrobe and you’ll feel just lovely.

id get rid of the old ones, even if they are in the attic they are still playing in your mind.

Even if may some miracle you did drop the weight you’d want new things surely?

I agree that the voice in your head is your mother. It's a hard one to tackle.

Could you try a daily bullet point gratitude journal? You find three things you are grateful for or make you happy - it can be about yourself or your life or people or events, anything really, that keeps you focusing on the positive. You write your three things in your journal each day.

There are clearly positives to the medication, which you could remind yourself of, and also.- not to focus on weight - you are on the smaller side of average clothing size for British women. It's hard to shake the disordered body perception and thoughts around food that a parent with disordered eating problem leaves us with.