What age is appropriate for school friend sleepovers?

I don't allow it

You never know who else the parents have invited over, when your child is also there

Even at bil's, my kids slept over and over they'd invited this random couple over.

I had no idea who these people were

I said it once and it's entirely relevant? I'm not sure what the issue is but you've mentioned it far more. As I said I won't engage anymore this is just bizarre.

What has this got to do with children going on a sleepover? Because I made mention to my profession which has a baring on my views? Are you saying that because of my profession I ought to have a different view? I'm so confused.

I'm going to check out of this thread now as it's not fair on the Op to derail it so much.

Really unnecessary comment. Let's not derail an important discussion that could lead to children being safeguarded

it is not unnecessary when you’re stating ‘as a police officer I wouldn’t allow this’ multiple times.

7 years old.

You think there is a mental health crisis in children that haven’t been allowed to go to a sleepover as 8 year olds?

Cannot remember specific ages but my three definitely had sleepovers about 6 . All ok and had fun . Their friends stayed regularly as well.
It never crossed my mind or my friends parents about SA ..all level headed fully functioning adults now!

Really unnecessary comment. Let's not derail an important discussion that could lead to children being safeguarded.

Wow what? Do you follow the news?

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/rapist-police-officer-david-carrick-33610254.amp

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/mark-tyrrell-police-wayne-couzens-b2606870.html

www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/met-police-officer-cliff-mitchell-rape-appeal-jailed-b1172856.html

This thread makes it obvious why there’s a mental health crisis in kids now. The paranoia and anxiety in parents!! And totally out of proportion to the risk. Mine are toddler / baby, but I am vowing now not to raise them in such a fearful and paranoid way/

Q00%, I do really feel for the people on this thread who don't want their kids to miss out also. It's so difficult isn't it, you don't want to place irrational anxiety on children and want them to thrive socially, but the risk is huge and for most too big to gamble with. Secondary school onwards might be a good compromise? Depends on the maturity of the child but it's more the sort of age you can have conversations with them and they can pick up on other weird behaviours that children may not to begin with. Or not even weird behaviours, even just dysfunctional households and they can make their own judgement on whether they want to stay somewhere, are more likely to have their own phone with them etc.

Wow.

@Soldieringnonosoldiershere Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of the police as they have let me and my family down more times than I care to count but I was just saying that the decision they made for their children is understandable based on what they have likely witnessed.

That's all we can really do as parents, risk assess based on our own knowledge and experiences. You must have seen some horrific things in your job and you understandably want to protect your children from the horrors you have witnessed

but that is hard to do when members of the police are raping and murdering our children isn’t it

@TLMTTCSJTT1 That's all we can really do as parents, risk assess based on our own knowledge and experiences. You must have seen some horrific things in your job and you understandably want to protect your children from the horrors you have witnessed.

Just to clarify as I made the original comment, I don't mean it like I am in the police therefore what I say is the bottom line I just mean, given what I have seen I will never ever trust another human being to a level of 100% no matter how they present or how long we have been friends etc. It's sad but safer

depends on what your idea of safe is. I don’t think enforcing a ‘little life’ on your children is a safe tactic long term.

I mean you're probably right, but the peado ring that abused me and my sister as toddlers and infant aged children was 100% male so I guess I just use my own experience as a frame of reference.

The women who knew, in my experience, didn't participate but just actively went out of their way to be willfully blind.

Apologies reading that back I don't think even being English speaking as a first language would make that easy to read 🙈 please accept my apology.

I agree to an extent, that’s why my daughter was allowed to go on the residentials. But I can see why some parents don’t allow it 🙁

English isn't my first language so I'm trying to discuss with you the best I can.Your opinion is not what I have an issue with, I have an issue with how judgemental you are on the way people parent their children. I think it's fine for people to send their kids on sleepovers but not for me.Personally, I think the way you're engaging with me borders on potential bullying so I'm not going to engage with you further.

I'm genuinely, genuinely sorry I have come across that way. I have only responded to you because you keep remember replying to me but only very generically and think you're reading my posts my hostile than they are intended. I disagree with your, or the, approach to blanket bans, but please don't take that to mean I think you're a bad parent or that I make any other wider judgement on you as a person, I haven't been pulling posters up for not having friends or any personal attacks like that, my view points are reserved for that approach only. I don't care how people parent their children, but if a question is asked on MN I will give my opinion.

I personally think children are a bit more vulnerable when they’re asleep…

Just like I didn’t allow sleepovers at other homes, some parents deem the residential trips as too risky

and I think this is really sad @Nataliaa. some of my best childhood memories are these trips and my daughter has already been on one and still talks about it joyously a year on.

we can protect our kids until the cows come home. But at the same time, we can’t ever really. And they also have to live.

Just to clarify as I made the original comment, I don't mean it like I am in the police therefore what I say is the bottom line I just mean, given what I have seen I will never ever trust another human being to a level of 100% no matter how they present or how long we have been friends etc. It's sad but safer, IMO having seen whole families be groomed. Someone above who replied to me said they might mix in essentially better circles than the police which is where the danger lies really, people think they have a safe community and can trust people and I have seen time and time again decent people finding out they can't. For something like a sleepover at the age of 10 the risk just doesn't seem worth it at all. I can't even remember being 10 really, I think the Op is being sensible.

Unashamedly a no sleepover household at the moment. I'm up for late-overs, breakfasts, whatever to work around it. Too much chance of SA from Dads, visiting friends of brothers, peer on peer abuse

but why do you think a determined abuser could do so overnight but not at a ‘late over.’ Abusers abuse wherever they are.

My daughter went skiing last year but she’s mid teens, and it was the trip of a lifetime for her. But I also would understand the parents that didn’t allow that. Just like I didn’t allow sleepovers at other homes, some parents deem the residential trips as too risky.