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Original poster

What age is appropriate for school friend sleepovers?

262 replies

StrawberryTartIet · 07/09/2024 14:53

My DC aged 10 has slept at Grandparents and a friends house who lives a few doors down from us that we are all friends as grown ups to. I don't allow school friend sleepovers yet. It's becoming difficult as school best friend has slept at ours but I don't want my daughter to go to their yet but they are asking. I know the parents and they havent done amything to bother me but I just dont feel comfortable handing my child to them overnight! I feel the risk of SA is not worth it, however upset she is mow it would be worse to find out she was placed at risk of SA!

But what age do we have to ignore our fears!!?

OP posts:
HerewegoagainSS · 07/09/2024 15:10

poptake · 07/09/2024 15:03

Not really sure how being 12 will help any potential SA advances vs being 10 either?

This. How controlling.

Jellybeanbag · 07/09/2024 15:08

Blanket ban in my house.

I don't allow my DC to attend sleepovers or playdates at anyone's house, I don't care how well I 'know' the parents.

We don't really know if someone is a predator. We don't know what people are like behind closed doors. I will not be taking any risks with my kids.

Meeting friends in the park, bowling, cinema is fine with me there whilst they are young.

As they get to their teenage years and can handle themselves better, they can go by themselves.

AhBiscuits · 07/09/2024 15:08

DD has been having sleepovers since she was 7. It does make me nervous but she really enjoys them and it's important to me to nurture her friendships and independence.

Tiredofthewhirring · 07/09/2024 15:06

Her greatest risk is from family members not friends parents.

Don't let your anxiety impact her life. We can't wrap them up in cotton wool to make ourselves feel better.

poptake · 07/09/2024 15:03

Not really sure how being 12 will help any potential SA advances vs being 10 either?

poptake · 07/09/2024 15:03

I think your risk assessment is a bit off tbh, by your measure of SA is worse than no sleepover and SA you could stop everything from holidays to avoid potential plane crashes through to anything enjoyable incase a masked assailant is around the corner. You need to use a little more common sense than you are currently, SA is not inevitable, she will be with a friend, you know the parents.

Negus · 07/09/2024 15:00

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RosieFlamingo · 07/09/2024 14:58

Mine have been having sleepovers since they were 9 ish. Ds attends a small village primary so we know his friends parents and they all live within a 5-10 min walk which is great.
At 10 it's not long before your dd will be heading for secondary school so it might be worth slowly allowing more freedom before the huge shock of y7.

RacingDriver · 07/09/2024 14:58

Clearly this is a personal decision but I was happy with my daughter going to her best friend for sleepovers from age 8.

I knew the parents well and have talked to my daughter in an age appropriate way about her body etc so was comfortable they risk was minimal.
The number of friends moved from this one to another couple between 9-10.

From about 11 I was more relaxed about not needing to know the parents properly as at senior school things are different.

TheaBrandt · 07/09/2024 14:57

Seems quite mean to say a flat no sleep overs are a big thing for older primary / early secondary aged girls.

chestnutlovers · 07/09/2024 14:57

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chestnutlovers · 07/09/2024 14:56

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