Page 4 | Is DH is being weird about the neighbours

Avocando · 2024-09-07T12:15:43+00:00

DH is doing my head in, basically being a weird af curtain twitcher To be fair he’s much more of a “chat to the neighbours” type person and I barely know any of their names. I’ll just smile/wave if I see them in the morning and carry on with my life. That’s always been our dynamic and never been an issue. We have been going through some significant issues TTC and our neighbours are having a baby. Their due date is any day now and it’s made DH crazy? Every time he hears their car he’s peeking to see if they might be going to the hospital or coming back with the baby? The other day he came in like “I’ve just seen Dave installing the car seat, it must be soon” On one hand it’s nice he’s excited for them but he’s taking it way too far imo. When I’ve tried to tell him that I’m finding it a bit much he’s said I am being miserable I know I’m a bit tetchy but I’m not being mean spirited about it.. I have even bought them a present and card etc for when the baby is here. Someone please help me understand why he’s gone crazy because I’m on my last nerve 😂

Lovefromjuliaxo · 07/09/2024 14:28

I think he is sad about you guys not having a baby yet, and jealous of the neighbours. He wants to be a dad too. He wishes it was you and him in their place. That’s it. However, he’s being a bit insensitive bringing it up to you, when you’re also upset I’m guessing. Have you guys ever thought about counselling? TTC when it’s difficult and not happening is brutal on some couples.

LeoOakley · 07/09/2024 14:25

Spidey66 · 07/09/2024 13:29

I'd probably say to him 'why are you so interested? It's not your baby....or is it?'

😂

housemaus · 07/09/2024 14:23

Some really odd replies here I think - why is everyone taking OP's husband in such bad faith?

FWIW my first thought on reading it was that TTC was obviously taking its toll on him - if this had been the other way round and a husband was wondering why their wife was curtain twitching about the neighbour's baby I feel pretty sure that everyone would be like "it's hard trying to conceive, she's probably fixating on what they have and what she wants, give her some grace because it must be difficult for her watching them prepare for something you really want". I feel the same about him.

Original poster

Avocando · 07/09/2024 14:22

SugarHorseSpooks · 07/09/2024 14:19

before tech back in the day this in general was how neighbours were

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Well thank fuck this isn’t the 80s 😂

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Original poster

Avocando · 07/09/2024 14:22

BettyBardMacDonald · 07/09/2024 14:15

Agree.

How on earth does this hurt you, OP?

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“Im finding the constant speculation about if the neighbours have had their baby yet a bit much” (because we have got XYZ going on and it feels a bit like everywhere we turn no one cares)

“you are being a misery”

instantly feels worse about everything going on and the emotions that come with it. Feelings dismissed

would you not want the one person you trust most in the world to acknowledge your feelings?

OP posts:

SugarHorseSpooks · 07/09/2024 14:19

Avocando · 07/09/2024 14:17

I find it a bit weird anyway because I’m not a particularly nosey person and I genuinely don’t have much interest in what’s going on with the neighbours - regardless of our scenario it would annoy me if he was always like this

But also - it’s not going to help us make one that actually ends up being viable

so good for him being happy but I don’t think I should be made out to be miserable or nasty when I just feel a bit like “chill out”

for me the constant talk of what’s happening for them is a reminder of what’s not for us

Edited

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before tech back in the day this in general was how neighbours were

Lampzade · 07/09/2024 14:17

Longdarkcloud · 07/09/2024 14:11

He is vicariously experiencing impending fatherhood a bit like a few women have pseudo pregnancies. It’s an emotional thing with him and he’s probably not fully aware. Just try to ignore him and not get too stressed. Everyone deals with these things, like grief, differently. It shows he is just as anxious as you are about the situation.
Good luck and May your wishes come true 💐

I agree

Original poster

Avocando · 07/09/2024 14:17

BettyBardMacDonald · 07/09/2024 14:13

This.

I lean toward the curious end, too, so his actions don't seem odd to me. Why quash him?

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I find it a bit weird anyway because I’m not a particularly nosey person and I genuinely don’t have much interest in what’s going on with the neighbours - regardless of our scenario it would annoy me if he was always like this

But also - it’s not going to help us make one that actually ends up being viable

so good for him being happy but I don’t think I should be made out to be miserable or nasty when I just feel a bit like “chill out”

for me the constant talk of what’s happening for them is a reminder of what’s not for us

OP posts:

BettyBardMacDonald · 07/09/2024 14:15

Longdarkcloud · 07/09/2024 14:11

He is vicariously experiencing impending fatherhood a bit like a few women have pseudo pregnancies. It’s an emotional thing with him and he’s probably not fully aware. Just try to ignore him and not get too stressed. Everyone deals with these things, like grief, differently. It shows he is just as anxious as you are about the situation.
Good luck and May your wishes come true 💐

Agree.

How on earth does this hurt you, OP?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 07/09/2024 14:13

He's nosey and it must be jarring for you. I've got a husband who leaps to look out of the window at any weather change. It's odd but at least he leaves the neighbours alone.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 07/09/2024 14:13

He's nosey and it must be jarring for you. I've got a husband who leaps to look out of the window at any weather change. It's odd but at least he leaves the neighbours alone.

BettyBardMacDonald · 07/09/2024 14:13

FuzzyDiva · 07/09/2024 13:31

What about his TTC emotions? Perhaps this is how he’s coping and just because it’s different or annoying to you, don’t mean he’s doing anything wrong.

This.

I lean toward the curious end, too, so his actions don't seem odd to me. Why quash him?

SugarHorseSpooks · 07/09/2024 14:12

Avocando · 07/09/2024 14:10

😂😂 this one made me chuckle, thanks.

Maybe I’ll tell him to retrain for MI5

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from the seems of it, hes a good beginner

boredaf · 07/09/2024 14:11

I personally think it’s weird, I’d find it bizarre if I knew my neighbours were actively watching to see if I’d gone into labour. YANBU.

Longdarkcloud · 07/09/2024 14:11

He is vicariously experiencing impending fatherhood a bit like a few women have pseudo pregnancies. It’s an emotional thing with him and he’s probably not fully aware. Just try to ignore him and not get too stressed. Everyone deals with these things, like grief, differently. It shows he is just as anxious as you are about the situation.
Good luck and May your wishes come true 💐

Original poster

Avocando · 07/09/2024 14:10

SugarHorseSpooks · 07/09/2024 14:09

At the same time the govt are the ones that need your dh when or if anything happens in the neighbourhood etc

😂😂 this one made me chuckle, thanks.

Maybe I’ll tell him to retrain for MI5

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MounjaroUser · 07/09/2024 14:10

Could the baby be his?

FFS that's a hell of a reach, even by MN standards, and very cruel to the OP.

SugarHorseSpooks · 07/09/2024 14:09

At the same time the govt are the ones that need your dh when or if anything happens in the neighbourhood etc

Original poster

Avocando · 07/09/2024 14:09

Clotheshorsewhisperer · 07/09/2024 14:00

Could the baby be his? Sorry but that's creepy as hell behaviour. In fact I'm the type of person to say it out loud in front of the neighbours about the behaviour. It's stalkerish. There's a huge difference between what your husband is doing and being observant.

Either that baby is his or he's got an unhealthy obsession with the mum to be/baby. That's what's going through my mind anyway.

He is the sort of person who will talk to you for five minutes and he’s your best friend kind of guy. A bit like a Labrador. One of the reasons I love him despite not being like that myself. So I’m pretty sure he is genuinely just excited for them, that’s the sort of person he is. But I do feel like this is a bit much considering our circumstances.

if it was his baby that would really take the piss out of the £££ we just paid for private genetic testing - the stats so far would suggest a big fat NO

OP posts:

NunyaBeeswax · 07/09/2024 14:08

It seems like he considers them as not just 'The Neighbours' but actually people he likes and chats too and knows the names of, almost closer to friends. Acquaintances I suppose.

He's excited for his friends / acquaintances.

I don't see an issue with that. If they were complete strangers he didn't know or had never spoken too, that may be different.

redtrain123 · 07/09/2024 14:06

Is dh more of a people person?. I’ll chat and come in with the street news, but my dh is not interested at all.

Clotheshorsewhisperer · 07/09/2024 14:00

Could the baby be his? Sorry but that's creepy as hell behaviour. In fact I'm the type of person to say it out loud in front of the neighbours about the behaviour. It's stalkerish. There's a huge difference between what your husband is doing and being observant.

Either that baby is his or he's got an unhealthy obsession with the mum to be/baby. That's what's going through my mind anyway.

Original poster

Avocando · 07/09/2024 13:58

Doggymummar · 07/09/2024 13:41

My dog does that too, it's irritating

Note to self: don’t get a dog 😂

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NiceCutRoundDomeDormice · 07/09/2024 13:44

Happyinarcon · 07/09/2024 13:42

I think you might be monitoring his behavior a bit much. He’s allowed the freedom to look out if the curtains and make idle conversation

But it’s the OP who has to listen to this inane drivel.

Happyinarcon · 07/09/2024 13:42

I think you might be monitoring his behavior a bit much. He’s allowed the freedom to look out if the curtains and make idle conversation