to ask for help finding the fun?

Thank you for your input.

Hope this reply isn't too OTT for you. Could reply with my own less than nice things but I'm gonna keep the energy for people who have managed to keep their responses entirely kind. Have a lovely day.

It's so nice to have the hindsight to know it was all alright in the end!! Sometimes in the thick of it it all feels a bit swampy!

I am usually pretty strict (about the basic daily stuff we all need to do, or putting away toys at the end of the day that sort of thing I thought was just normal for everyone 😅), and get told to lighten up. Someone suggested I was making it fun to disobey me and therefore making work for myself and maybe being more playful would help. Hence the thread. But yes laying out expectations the night before also could be helpful. I thought working together to draw out our routine for the morning would be a winner but didn't work in the slightest!

Absolutely! Have managed to find an exercise class in the last 6 months and a craft club so definitely getting the balance back!

Update: obviously it's the weekend so way less time pressure, but we tried giving the kids our full attention this morning as soon as we woke up, then came down for breakfast before getting dressed etc and everyone seems to be in a much better mood. Haven't had any of the absolute nuclear fallout emotional rollercoaster we saw yesterday. Think there's a lot going on in their brains with starting school and holding it all together.

Going to try it again tomorrow, knowing there's more time pressure to get out the door by 8. See how we do. Thanks for the helpful and kind responses, it's really appreciated that you took time to reply to some randomer on the internet. We're all just doing our best, some days/moments are certainly more trying than others!!!

I don't HAVE to, but evidently something in my household isn't working so I'm trying to see if I can improve it. Have never got up and played with them before today. It's usually up and getting ready or having breakfast or whatever before we start arguing about the things that need to happen before we can leave. My goal is to have cooperative children, if giving them some attention first thing helps them be more ready to get dressed/listen then that's worth a go in my book. Largely I'm a very hands off parent. They play together and entertain one another. But I'm still the parent. There is a need for them to be dressed, have clean teeth, get ready for bed, out shoes on... Whatever. When we reach these times of the day it's painful. People get emotional, there's shouting, resistance, my fight or flight response goes through the roof and I feel like a shit mother because I end up losing my temper.

So have asked for ideas, with friends and on the internet. On one thread it was suggested I be more playful, that supernanny techniques were too Draconian and 'they're just kids fgs why don't you play with them?!' So started a new thread on how to be playful and someone like you decides that it's 'honestly weird' (nice btw!) I'm being advised that it's weird and I shouldn't bother. Jesus. I'm just trying to do my best.

Half the time parents are accused of not doing enough parenting so the kids are ferrel or snowflakes or have no manners and the other half where someone asks for advice on actively parenting you get comments like this that suggest you shouldn't bother. Is it possible to get anything right?!

Mainly the internet and playground mums.

This is a very kindly worded message. Thank you. I've been feeling rather pressured to make all the day to day stuff sparkly somehow and that would be the solution to all my woes. People say 'be more playful' like it's the ultimate life hack for getting kids out the door on time, to eat their greens (or in the case of my littlest eat pretty much anything!!), wash hands etc.

But outside of the daily tasks I am fun in many ways. I read and tell a cracking story, love a board game, will sit and play cars/dulpo/beach cricket/be the troll under the bridge in the playground, do rough n tumble play etc. They love it when it's bedding changeover day as we make a huge pile of the duvets and pillows and I essentially throw them into the cloud pile over and over, little weirdos!. But when it comes to the transition times and stuff that just needs doing playful isn't my style. I just don't have enough spoons to channel my inner Mary Poppins.

Have a few things to try now because of this thread! Have a new 'lets get things done' playlist with William tell and other bits. Will be adding a thank you to the end of my sentences, a few more made up songs with a task in mind. I quite like making up songs actually, but so far they've been more likely to be about how much I love them even when they fart 😂Does anyone else find though that something works for appropriately 72 hours and then they get wise to it and it's all over?

Absolutely. But the 'be more playful' message has been pretty consistent since way before I attempted to channel my inner supernanny.

Thanks I'll check it out!

I also saw that!! Gave it a go. Started a thread on here saying it wasn't working and what am I doing wrong. Was told I needed to lighten up and be more playful...so now have officially come full circle 😂

They're awake a while before the gro clock. The clock is more us trying to keep them semi respectful of our paper thin walls and neighbours who do not have young children until such a time as it's acceptable to actually wake up. Otherwise the war cries would begin at dawn!

Oh definitely the latter, at 'pinch points' during the day. Have tried asking for help online and also with friends irl and the suggestion is usually to be playful (the idea of the hungry socks came from a friend for example). So, I tried, but even if I put on a good show of it it doesn't actually result in us achieving the things which need to get done which then makes me resentful that I've made this big effort and it hasn't got me any further than just nagging or whatever I'd usually do. Doesn't feel like it's fostering any more love or good feeling in the household either because it still ends in me getting frustrated because they're not in their pyjamas/uniform only now they're also totally riled up and in even less of a mood to listen.

DH has suggested tomorrow we get up and play with the kids first thing, not with an agenda (i.e. I'm playing with the intention of getting you dressed), just to play. Then after 10-15 minutes then try and get the morning under way and see if that helps. Whereas right now as soon as the gro clock wakes we tend to be getting ready for the day then when everyone is dressed, fed, teeth brushed etc we'll read a book, play a board game, get the lego or magnet tiles out or whatever. Maybe that will help start the day in a nicer way, and they'll have had some attention first thing so will be more open to it.

Ha, can you send me the link for the lion shop? Thanks :P

Threats don't seem to get me anywhere. I try to avoid making empty threats so only say things I can actually make happen. They get so emotional at the idea of the threat (i.e. if you don't have your shoes on in the next 2 minutes we're not going) that there's no way they'd manage the task in the timeframe as they're sobbing their hearts out. So now I'm more likely to have the consequence as being put in the car without shoes...which still results in sobbing. But at least we've actually left. It just feels honestly like a horrible atmosphere to get to that point. Try to avoid it if I can. Bleugh.