AIBU to wonder if it’s the done thing when people share their kids ‘big’ achievements online?

Nice wee stealth boast. 😁
Seriously, well done to him though.

I would generally say - non-academic stuff e.g. sport - yes, academic stuff - no.

My DD recently did amazingly in her A levels. A friend asked how the A levels had gone in a WhatsApp group (4 of us had children doing them). I replied “Good thank you” as I didn’t want the others to feel bad if their kids hadn’t done so well. The second to reply said “Really good”. It seriously pissed me off! Implication being that her kid had done better than mine. And I felt I couldn’t say “well actually my DD…”.

I’m just as bad though bragging on here!

I used to post more but as I got older I came to realise it can be damaging to others mental health if they perceive everyone to be smashing it while they're struggling, plus the kids want to control their own online narrative so now I ask their permission and keep it low key, ie posted that we are proud that DD's hard work paid off for GCSE's but not her actual grades.

Personally I love to see my friends and families achievements and I enjoy the posts but appreciate not everyone does.

That's not what she said at all is it?

DD worked bloody hard for her GCSE and A level results. She had to. Her results weren't as visibly good as her brothers, which they achieved with very little work at all. Too bloody right I celebrated the achievement on Facebook. I never mentioned what results any of them got though.

I do only have actual friends and family on Facebook though.

My son expressly asked me not to share his exam results. He got straight As (Scotland) but didn’t want me to share that publicly, which I respected. Stuff like him passing his driving test and that he got his uni place he was ok with

But I think this is exactly why some don't.

You use the term "brag" because that's how you see it.

Others see it as celebrating. Some as informing a large group of specific people at once (time saving!).

It's not bragging to say your child came first in a dance competition, or won man of the match at team sport. It's celebrating imo with a wide range of people who actually care that your child has.

If your friends and family see it as bragging imo they are the ones with the issue. Why shouldn't achievements be celebrated?

It makes me uncomfortable- this kids life splashed all over social media.

The kid doesn’t get the congratulations, the parent does so I assume it’s a very insecure parent seeking validation. I rarely see it from parents who are successful in their own right.

I'm a single parent and I don't post on social media (my social media contacts are only people who know me) but it does mean I don't really have anyone to share that positive moment and proudness with and that can be isolating. So I do understand why some people do it and it may well be attention seeking but attention seeking isn't always negative, social connection in times of celebration are important. My work team celebrates my work colleagues success so not sure how this is different really.

Academic success is tricky as all children get results together and some will be very disappointed or not high achievers but you can celebrate their hard work etc

Sporting success or other areas that are a specialist activity are not an issue because not everyone was up for the award in the first place so it's different

I also like to hear of other people's success and how their children are getting on, whether that eight 9s at GCSE, accepted onto an apprenticeship or swam 10m in the pool, it's nice and positive and there are far too many negatives in the world.

I don't post myself about them myself but happy for others to so, and no I don't feel they are bragging nor do I get anxiety or it doesn't makes me jealous as it's not about me but them

I don’t have FB but when DS has had success I have always got a feeling of wanting to “shout it from the rooftops” so to speak. I think FB is the modern equivalent of walking through the streets and telling your community.

Context is everything. I would always start by asking after the other person’s DC and then if the question is reciprocated, answer appropriately. That’s just normal conversation.

For some of us we have family and friends all over. It's the easiest way to share.

Why is SM inappropriate.

Tbf though I may be slightly confused about why SM isn't the place because ds sports club and NGB post all about it - it reaches a far wider audience than my posts for family and friends!

Same with schools posting about students.

It's nice to be proud, especially if they've studied/trained/worked hard toward a goal. I don't personally post much in that vein, but have no issue with those who do. It's not exactly hard for folk to scroll on by if need be. 😁

I'll post about my DS sporting achievements.

I'm very happy for others who have children who achieve stuff and post - whether that's tests, exams or sports. Engagements, babies etc as they enter adulthood.

I think it's very odd that people don't celebrate others achievements and turn it into a competition - or rather competitiveness about who can post the least 😉

Doesn't matter if it's your 9yo saying their first word due to send or your 16yo getting 10 9's at GCSE.

Let's celebrate. Because if we don't what's the point of aiming to achieve?

the older I get, the less I share on facebook. Want to protect my children's privacy. But when my daughter graduated from a top university with a first and I didn't post on facebook she asked me to! She asked why I hadn't told facebook about her graduation and told me to put up a post. So I did 🤣

I think first day of school, graduation etc are fine actually and enjoy those- they are nice milestone markers.
Sharing exam results and school reports - no.

I love seeing friends’ posts about their children’s achievements, whether it’s sports, academics or anything else. It genuinely makes me happy to see how proud the kids are of themselves and the parents have a right to be proud of their children too. If we don’t brag about our kids, who will?

I subscribe to 'each to their own' for SM, tbh.

Do you think that talking about your child's achievements at all, to anyone, is boasting? I hate this 'tall poppy' syndrome in the UK.

I don't think that's what the poster was saying tbh. Obviously not everyone can get top GCSE results, however hard they work. Parents are proud of their child's hard work in achieving their potential, whatever that is.

Most people who boast on FB wouldn’t dream of doing it face to face.

I don't share these things. It's just not me. However, I don't mind parents that do and I'll always says "Well done"

Depends who has access to your online posts, mine are very limited in who can see them and in frequency.

So do you think that kids who did less well in their GCSEs simply didn’t work as hard as your DD?

I sometimes wonder what people think the point of social media is. I use Facebook to keep in touch a bit with people I know but rarely or never see irl. I'm interested to see what they and their families are up to. Why else would I be on FB?

When my school friend who I haven't seen for 35 years posts a video of her amazingly talented son's ski jumps (possible future Olympic competitor), I love watching them and it wouldn't remotely occur to me to regard it as boasting.

I didn't post about my son's GCSE results this year, because imo it's a bit different when a whole cohort of kids are taking exams and you know that some people reading your post might have just had really disappointing results. I don't think there's anything wrong with a general and not too OTT post about it though.