AIBU to wonder if it’s the done thing when people share their kids ‘big’ achievements online?

This. I keep my social media small to friends and family. I like to see other children succeed. I don't share their whole report but I will mention it and say we're out for dinner to celebrate a good report.

I don't know why in this country people (particularly in state schools) are so against the sharing of academic achievement. My youngest son recently won an award in maths only one other person three years above had managed to win and the school didn't celebrate it at all. He got his certificate in a brown envelope in his book bag.

My friends kids are at private school. There are prizes for academic achievement from Year 3. Success is celebrated. Even in reception they have a chart to show who is moving up in reading or whatever.

At our state school, awards are given to the slightly better than average kids. But the really high flying kids. They don't need it apparently (even though they struggle in PE, never get picked and are last every sports day but sports is different so yeah, let's celebrate success there).

Drives me Insane.

Strongly dislike it for all achievements and dislike it for ‘milestones’ like first day of school and holiday snaps. Unless you have a tiny number of ‘followers’ on SM eg family and close friends it’s just broadcasting ‘news’ to acquaintances.

Disagree with the poster who suggests that doing this is ‘celebrating’ and ‘making a fuss’ of DC.

I've never done this at all. We celebrate my daughters' achievements within the family, not with the wider community.

A family WhatsApp group for the wider family I would consider, but we don't have one as the only remaining grandparent (my mother) doesn't do mobile phones, computers, internet.

I have absolutely zero interest in social media witterings about the children of others and I expect them to have zero interest in mine.

Absolutely agree, as I said in my own post that’s what social media is for and I’d much rather celebrate special occasions with people that the terrible news we often see constantly.

I celebrate my children's achievement online - they’ve worked hard, not had privilege of private education or tutors so why not celebrate top grades. I don’t see why it’s anymore boastful than celebrating them winning a swimming gold medal. If people don’t like that then so be it, that’s what social media is for, discussing achievements in life. If people don’t like that I’d assume they wouldn’t be on places like Facebook where that’s how it rolls. I post the good and bad, not only when I go on holiday. Though I don’t tend to post as much these days.

Yes, I agree with this 😁

I’ve seen people post about all sorts of things. I usually think aww that’s nice. Sometimes if I know the backstory (awful domestic abuse, childhood cancer, additional needs) then it’s particularly heartwarming. But it never bothers me. It’s just a nice moment they are sharing.

I love reading about my friends' children's achievements on social media. And the achievements of the parents. There's so much doomscrolling and genuinely bad news that if someone wins a competition or gets into a great university or sings a lovely solo or bakes a delicious cake or grows an enormous pumpkin or teaches their dog a new trick or learns to roller skate or gets their dream job or redecorates their hallway, I want to know all about it!

🤣

I think it’s fine and I do it, I’m not sharing to the “whole of the internet” as my social media is limited to people who I want to share aspects of my (family) life with and equally keep up-to-date with theirs. I love hearing about other people’s successes in this way, it’s a great way of keeping in the loop with people you may not speak with on a regular basis (ie cousins, friends who’ve moved away etc). I actually hate this cultural thing of having to downplay or hide things that have been hard earned and where a bit of praise is deserved.

There’s been a very obvious shift away from over sharing which is so much healthier. My FB feed is mainly my groups. My children haven’t been mentioned on Facebook for about ten years. In fact I never see posts like these!

Something very out of the ordinary fair enough, eg getting a pilots license or something. What I really loathe is parents posting excerpts of their child's school reports (some even do this for nursery reports!) It's normal for teachers to give praise and it's as if parents don't know that.

What I find ridiculous is the use of “smashed” e.g Lily smashed her first day at school”.

I think your second para sums it up for me

I have 2 people who constantly boast about their children's achievements & FB & always have. The "children" are now adults & I'm amazed they go along with it. It's completely cringe-worthy.
I used to put occasional things like driving test & University places (without any grades etc) & my FB is very private with only a few close friends & family on it, but I have to say I don't think I would do it now, & I feel a bit embarrassed that I used to, even though it was very low key.

I don't think it's appropriate to post stuff about other people. If they want their information on sm they can post it themselves.

A school mum used to post everything about her child - school reports, achievements, days out - and it has caused a rift between them. Child (adult now) says they might as well have been on the Truman Show.

I don't mind hearing about achievements, some are better than others at hitting the right tone and coming across as proud rather than boastful! I also have one that posts her DD's report which is incredibly cringe and I'll never look away.

I do think posting about GCSE or A Level results is a little different. One thing to say you're proud but quite another to boast and state the straight As. Everyone has to go to school whether they struggle or not, and results day isn't happy for everyone. Different to posting about a gymnastics competition - the ones who are shit at gymnastics just don't do gymnastics! Whereas the ones who struggle with school still have to go five days a week.

I don't really post anything like this, although I'm not anti pictures of kids on social media generally. I just can't bring myself to post achievement stuff as it feels so showy, cringy, inappropriate if it may trigger negstive feelings in others etc. Having said that, it's weird because I actually don't judge others for doing it. If no one did this there would be no Fbook for me to mindlessly scroll through! And I do like to see kids achieve in general.

Why does anyone “deserve” to have their achievements broadcast to the world at large, most of whom really couldn’t care less?
Keep it to those close enough to actually give a toss.

I like seeing family and friends' childrens achievements - passing GCSEs, A levels, driving tests. All those milestones towards growing up 😊(and parents thinking, 'Phew we've got thru that one').

I'm with you on this. I tell my children how proud I am, I don't need anyone else to chip in and add to this. I think telling close family is very different to posting to Facebook.

I think it's part of a bigger picture with social media where we're teaching children to seek validation externally over internally. Whilst this may not sound fair, for the couple of friends I have who post anything and everything about their kids on social media it comes across as an invitation to comment on how great a parent they are or how great their life is (when in real life they often talk about how they lack confidence in themselves as parents or are going through a particularly rough time). The whole thing feels performative, personally.

I will say my views come from a place of a) barely having a social media presence myself having come off it all years ago and b) working in children's mental health services I see the negative impact of social media short and long term as opposed to positives. At the end of the day people have the right to post whatever they like and I have the right to ignore it when it pops up on my feed 😅

Exactly. We have a family WhatsApp group with grandparents for sharing the kids’ achievements. Not the whole of the internet.

When the time comes, on social media or not I will publicly celebrate my children's achievements. Every child deserves to have their achievements celebrated and made a fuss of.

i agree it’s good to celebrate success. But i don’t think social media is the right way. The child doesn’t have access so how is this a positive way to praise them?

I am really pleased and proud of my friends children when they achieve something. It's nice to hear about it. I don't care if I hear about it on fb first.
I like to leave to leave a positve comment for them to read.

The thing I don't get is posts along the lines of "Congratulations to Emily on your first day of pre-school!", when Emily is 4 and has no social media presence at all and will be completely oblivious to the post and gushing responses addressed to her... For some reason it gets my back up much more than posting the same picture but with a message along the lines of "Emily's first day!". It seems a bit sort of... false.