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AIBU?

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Original poster

Did women used to enjoy being catcalled?

669 replies

Gofastboatsmojito · 07/09/2024 08:18

Hi,

Filtering a recent discussion with my stepmum I just wanted to survey the 55+ year olds of mumsnet to check whether I'm way off.

She is absolutely insistent that in her youth women (most? all?) enjoyed being whistled or shouted appreciatively at when waking past a building site.

She thinks women's perception of this has changed in the last 20 years. All her friends enjoyed it in the 70s and 80s apparently.

For context she has been the subject of male violence including sexual violence and does not equate the two.

I find it hard to believe everyone enjoyed it and assume that women felt a lot less able to say they didn't like it due to fear of being called frigid, uptight etc.

I'm sure the answer might lie somewhere between the two extremes but just wondering what an AIBU poll might say.

V grateful if women of age 55+ only vote

YABU = in my youth the majority of women I knew considered a wolf whistle as a cheeky but welcome compliment

YANBU = I didn't enjoy this even in the 70s

OP posts:
XChrome · 08/09/2024 23:15

GreenPoppy · 08/09/2024 21:35

@LondonFox the poll wasn't for if women find catcalling ok. It was for if in the PAST they found it ok.

So yes, a lot of women as daft teenagers found it a compliment, then the vast majority grew up and had a different view.

Exactly, and now he is saying he is a woman going around meowing at other women, then claiming it proves women like catcalls from men. WTAF?
Absolutely batshit.

GreenPoppy · 08/09/2024 21:35

@LondonFox the poll wasn't for if women find catcalling ok. It was for if in the PAST they found it ok.

So yes, a lot of women as daft teenagers found it a compliment, then the vast majority grew up and had a different view.

poppyzbrite4 · 08/09/2024 21:19

LondonFox · 08/09/2024 20:58

Tbh a lot of you got pretty upset about a fact that some women (around half of them on MN) think catcalling is ok and they don't mind it.

You can make a hell of a drama over few posts I made but you cannot deny that some portion of female population is getting male attention and enjoying it.

Just for the record, I am a woman, happily married and never had issues with any of it as long as people stop if you do not engage back in flirting.
It is quite simple and works for both genders.

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When did you stop doing animal impressions in public? I'm intrigued.

LondonFox · 08/09/2024 20:58

HeySummerWhereAreYou · 08/09/2024 13:47

Yes, I agree about that story by @LondonFox . I am not responding to any of his posts any more.

His posts are erratic, and weird, and totally incel-like. He is utterly not backing down on that batshit 'I meowed and all the ladies got excited' yarn - or admitting he was wrong about what a cat-call is.

His posts have descended into being pretty weird, very offensive, and rather disturbing. 😐

Show quote history

Tbh a lot of you got pretty upset about a fact that some women (around half of them on MN) think catcalling is ok and they don't mind it.

You can make a hell of a drama over few posts I made but you cannot deny that some portion of female population is getting male attention and enjoying it.

Just for the record, I am a woman, happily married and never had issues with any of it as long as people stop if you do not engage back in flirting.
It is quite simple and works for both genders.

Disturbia81 · 08/09/2024 20:51

Thank god times have changed.

poppyzbrite4 · 08/09/2024 20:36

Happyher · 08/09/2024 20:32

Yes I agree about the age difference not being a thing. When I was 18 I went out with a 25 year old for about 5 years. I was always more attracted to older men as they seemed more mature. My friend is happily married for 34 yrs to someone who is 7 year older than her who she met at 18. 14 year olds wanted to go out with over 17s as they might have a car. Now people frown on it. Times change!

Show quote history

I remember much bigger age gaps. A 16 year old I knew was in a relationship with a 32 year old and no one thought it strange.

Happyher · 08/09/2024 20:32

poppyzbrite4 · 08/09/2024 16:36

It seems not. I'm assuming it's just something they accepted as flattering without acknowledging that it was often much older men. When I was a teenager, it wasn't unusual for teenagers to have much older boyfriends.

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Yes I agree about the age difference not being a thing. When I was 18 I went out with a 25 year old for about 5 years. I was always more attracted to older men as they seemed more mature. My friend is happily married for 34 yrs to someone who is 7 year older than her who she met at 18. 14 year olds wanted to go out with over 17s as they might have a car. Now people frown on it. Times change!

Copperkryten · 08/09/2024 16:50

Absolutely hated it. Had men commenting on me when I was 14. Always some turd trying to chat me up. Didnt go out to certain pubs cos it felt constant. Reported a group of builders to their boss. Used to go for runs dressed as a bloke late at night, threatened to punch a group of 19-20 years olds once, who were shouting at me running. I was happy when I reached 40 and could live a free life.

poppyzbrite4 · 08/09/2024 16:36

Disturbia81 · 08/09/2024 15:44

@poppyzbrite4 That's the weird thing, these posters who say they enjoyed it.. aren't they at least disgusted that grown men did it to young girls but not them as older women?

It seems not. I'm assuming it's just something they accepted as flattering without acknowledging that it was often much older men. When I was a teenager, it wasn't unusual for teenagers to have much older boyfriends.

Disturbia81 · 08/09/2024 15:44

@poppyzbrite4 That's the weird thing, these posters who say they enjoyed it.. aren't they at least disgusted that grown men did it to young girls but not them as older women?

MasterShardlake · 08/09/2024 15:24

HeySummerWhereAreYou · 08/09/2024 15:11

Yep @poppyzbrite4 A desperately worrying and disturbing comment there from @Lallyhead87 Shock

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I assumed the poster meant she took it as a compliment when she was 13 or 14. Not that she still thinks it was a complement!

HeySummerWhereAreYou · 08/09/2024 15:11

poppyzbrite4 · 08/09/2024 14:35

Even now? Looking back as an adult, grown men leering over a child is a compliment?

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Yep @poppyzbrite4 A desperately worrying and disturbing comment there from @Lallyhead87 Shock

poppyzbrite4 · 08/09/2024 14:35

Lallyhead87 · 08/09/2024 14:13

I'm in my 40s now but I quite liked it.
I remember my mum really having a go at men who looked at me and informing them that I was only 13 or 14.
I thought she was embarrassing but I never felt threatened or anything I took it as a compliment.

Even now? Looking back as an adult, grown men leering over a child is a compliment?

Lallyhead87 · 08/09/2024 14:13

I'm in my 40s now but I quite liked it.
I remember my mum really having a go at men who looked at me and informing them that I was only 13 or 14.
I thought she was embarrassing but I never felt threatened or anything I took it as a compliment.

BeatrizBoniface · 08/09/2024 13:51

Same here, @HeySummerWhereAreYou . The last post just makes it all very clear.

Frogmarch89 · 08/09/2024 13:50

It's honestly never bothered me and never made me feel unsafe. Yes maybe sometimes flattered. I'm 38

HeySummerWhereAreYou · 08/09/2024 13:49

poppyzbrite4 · 08/09/2024 12:41

Women who don't enjoy sexual harassment are 'frigid cows'. You're a real charmer, I'm very surprised that your animal impressions and odd behaviour didn't work.

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Finally @LondonFox 's mask slipped off completely. As I said, I am not engaging with him any longer on this thread, and will not respond to any of his posts!

HeySummerWhereAreYou · 08/09/2024 13:47

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 08/09/2024 12:25

And you sound like an incel. I didn't believe a word of your 'meow' story.

I'm glad that you don't get to define what pestering is and isn't because you really don't have the slightest clue.

Show quote history

Yes, I agree about that story by @LondonFox . I am not responding to any of his posts any more.

His posts are erratic, and weird, and totally incel-like. He is utterly not backing down on that batshit 'I meowed and all the ladies got excited' yarn - or admitting he was wrong about what a cat-call is.

His posts have descended into being pretty weird, very offensive, and rather disturbing. 😐

Bulletnips · 08/09/2024 13:41

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Getitwright · 08/09/2024 13:38

65 here. It never bothered me one way or the other to be honest, it happened, you smiled and walked on. I never equated it with anything other than appreciation of a persons efforts to look nice, smart, etc… But I have lots of confidence, always have had, despite being overweight and ageing as gracefully as I can. Never encountered anything violent or sexist about it, particularly as my generation wasn’t backward to show verbal appreciation of the male sex either. Anyone recall the Diet Coke advert😁
I find the pouting, weird posing on the internet, “influencer culture” a lot more sinister to be honest, desperately seeking the attention of strangers.

BeatrizBoniface · 08/09/2024 13:23

I think that just clarifies things, doesn't it?

poppyzbrite4 · 08/09/2024 12:41

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Women who don't enjoy sexual harassment are 'frigid cows'. You're a real charmer, I'm very surprised that your animal impressions and odd behaviour didn't work.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 08/09/2024 12:25

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And you sound like an incel. I didn't believe a word of your 'meow' story.

I'm glad that you don't get to define what pestering is and isn't because you really don't have the slightest clue.

LondonFox · 08/09/2024 12:22

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LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 08/09/2024 11:47

Namechangejustforthis2024 · 07/09/2024 21:22

NC for this because it’s very outing. I’m not in your age range requested op, but not far off and I’ve always hated it. Added to that, I work in construction and have done for decades. Many years ago when I was around 25 I was walking past one of our sites to meet a client. There began a chorus of “get your tits out for the lads”. I put down my brief case, climbed the scaffold in my trouser suit and stiletto boots and sacked the lot of them. Their faces were a bloody picture. They never worked for us again and it never did my career or self esteem any harm at all.
Thankfully the industry has changed a lot since then!

If only you'd said that you changed into your safety boots to climb the scaffolding I would have applauded you.

If you'd have done this in the industry I work in, you'd be fired yourself. I'm surprised that you work in construction.

They did deserve sacking though.

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