Did women used to enjoy being catcalled?

I left school at 18 and went to work in an office in London. I was harassed on the train and at work - sexual comments and touching, followed by men in the street. Building sites were the worst - dozens of men would turn and shout obscenities at you, van drivers would slow down to call out (this was mid 1980s onwards).

Once, two men walked behind me loudly making comments and one of them said “you’re going to get raped in a minute if you keep ignoring us”. This was in broad daylight and I was a teenager.

I hated every minute of it and it’s very nice when you walk past a building site and everyone just gets on with their work.

No. I just said, she's not equating it.
I'm not either.
I never would.
It's about an acceptable culture.

Exactly! No tolerance gives a clear my message

@BeatrizBoniface I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. As someone who's experienced sexual assault, I find it offensive to equate a brief passing flirty wolf whistle or "hello darling" with sexual harassment or assault. I don't believe it's related either. Like I said, my friends and I used to do the same to men (with no complaints from the men as, like when men did it to us, it was a brief passing whistle or throwaway flirty comment).

FFS, believe it or not there are indeed clubs and bars outside town centres and cities. Yes really. Guess what? I also ventured outside my area too weirdly.

My experience is mine and you were neither there with me or your mother for that matter. The OP asked for people’s experiences, I gave mine and it’s not your place to question it because your mums experience was different.

@Disturbia81 there's a difference between a brief passing harmless flirty comment or whistle - from women (like my friends and I used to do to men) or from men, versus harassment.

Equating the first with the second is imo harmful to victims of genuine sexual harassment and assault.

@Snackingandacupoftea - no, the author didn't equate cat calling and wolf whistling with rape. She was saying that it's part of a continuum. By allowing and condoning it, in emboldens men to push further.

I'm 61 and had unwanted attention from men from about the age of 13....hated it so much

Just don't do it at all and then it leaves no margin for error. Women will give an inch and men will take a mile.

I probably shouldn't reply as you asked for only women 55+ to reply and I'm younger. I used to find it flattering when I was in my 20s (doesn't happen to me anymore, now I'm older and look a bit more 'mumsy'). My friends were fine with it too. Maybe my friends and I have 'wrong' attitudes, I don't know.

If it makes any difference to how you see my reply to you, maybe I should mention that we did similar to good-looking men. "Hello handsome" and similar. So we didn't feel there was any sexism because both sexes did it, at least with people I knew.

One woman said, "It starts with the 'Hello darling' and wolf whistles and it goes right through to rape. It's exactly the name kind of sexism." Perhaps that's true.

I was sexually assaulted when younger, and one of my friends has been raped. Again maybe her and me have 'wrong' attitudes and it definitely seems to be an unpopular or controversial view today? But we both feel that equating non harassing brief wolf whistling or a "hello darling" with sexual assault and rape is offensive. And actually sometimes harmful, as it seems to have caused some people, including sometimes support services, to take sexual assault victims in need of support less seriously and/or provide less help.

I should add though there's a difference between a brief imo harmless wolf whistle/hello darling/hello handsome as someone's walking past, versus an intimidating and harassing persistent won't take no for an answer.

I used to enjoy it in my 20s after years of poor self image. But only if it was good natured in tone, such as a whistle or cheer, hello beautiful that type of thing. Sexual remarks or aggressive not so much

Used to be common for people to say 'little girls should be seen and not heard'.

My dad, to his credit, changed this to “little girls should be obscene and not absurd.”

I try to live by this.

Yuck

You think cat-calling is meowing? Hilarious. Shows how fictional your little anecdote is.

Yes my mum and women in her generation (born in 50s) seem flattered, don't mind the idea of age gaps, say men are "just like that" if you mention cheating or being pervy. "Men will be men"
Different times, thank fuck it's changing albeit slowly

My mum told me stories of her time working as a 17 year old secretary in a male dominated environment. She said this was a daily occurrence when her and the other secretaries were just walking through the workplace and she would often get her arse slapped on the way past!

Imagine a man doing that to a 17 year old now:

Used to be common for people to say 'little girls should be seen and not heard'.
Girls started collecting a bottom draw for when they got married very early on.
My dad said he wouldn't leave daughters money in his will as we would get married (never did).

We were supposed to be grateful for male attention. Every generation of woman has their own set of problems. The mass consumption of porn is awful now.

That song was an late 70s number by ' the monks'. Not a nice song

@PocketSand

Do any of you remember the 'nice legs, shame about the face' - I seem to remember it was a 'song'. Builders loved the 'compliment' followed by put down.

Urgh I remember that. Late 70s/early 80s? Was that an actual song by a recording artist? Or just playground “bantz”? I remember some of the boys at my primary school used to sing it. I sang it casually at home and my mum gave me proper bollocking. As she should have done.

Do any of you remember the 'nice legs, shame about the face' - I seem to remember it was a 'song'. Builders loved the 'compliment' followed by put down.

Never felt safe walking down the street from age 12. Male property to judge.

But high judgement made me feel good even when an adult male declared he wanted a torrid affair with a schoolgirl. I was miserable and attention (of the wrong sort) made me feel better. Maybe that's why I ended up in an abusive relationship.

As an adult female I can see it was wrong. So wrong.

If you don't judge your worth externally I guess you might see catcalling as insignificant but predatory men never are just harmless.

@Cattery

Loved it. I remember in the office where I worked (Central Government 1980s) being told to “just sit and look nice”

Fuck me. What has gone wrong with your life that you enjoyed being told to erase your personality?

It was horrible. How to react? What to do?
Two other posters have mentioned the reclaim the night demonstrations. I wasn't there, too far away and the mother of a young baby. Certainly supported them though.

A quote from an article by Poly Toynbee in Nov. 1977. (I took the Guardian then so probably read it when it was first published.)

The group of women who came to talk about Saturday's demonstration said that rape was only the extreme edge of a spectrum. One woman said, "It starts with the 'Hello darling' and wolf whistles and it goes right through to rape. It's exactly the name kind of sexism." Perhaps that's true.

I've never had any doubt that wolf whistles and provocative taunts in the street are intensely aggressive. I never know how to deal with it. Usually I just try to maintain an absurd sort of dignity and pretend I haven't heard. If I smile back, I feel angry, with myself inside and even more vulnerable, Perhaps it's silly to mind about it but now I come to think about it I find I do feel indignant that women walking along the street minding their own business should be teased and forced to respond."

https://www.theguardian.com/world/1977/nov/14/gender.uk

Erm. The day after Mardi Gras is Ash Wednesday, not one of the most joyous dates in the church calendar. You could have legit reasons for looking solemn!

I hated it. That sinking feeling of walking down the road and you see workmen ahead and you can’t cross the road. You know exactly what they’re going to say and if you ignore them more often than not you get called a stuck up bitch. You could be 20 or 30 but equally you could be 14. Horrible.

About 2 years ago I was waiting at a bus stop. Traffic was queing at the lights. A very expensive car stopped ,driven by a smartly dressed middle aged women and a boy aged around 14. Possibly mother and son. He was wearing the uniform of a local private school . He said the usual " cheer up, it might never happen" I was quite distracted at the time . I said " are you talking to me "? The woman began to snigger as if he had made the most witty comment in the world. He said " yes you.Smile ,you look miserable What's the matter with your face ?" She laughed even more. I said that I was sorry I wasn't happy enough for them but my husband had just died . Who do these people think they are.?