To be worried about 3yr olds new dad

Social Services won't care if the child is with a nanny, the Royal Family parented like that for years.

Again please read what I said- they may not be able to do anything NOW, Im pretty sure I wrote it a few times.. I never said SS will step in- please quote the bit where you thin I said so. But the school need to be aware as it's a case of neglect. Many neglect cases dont mees SS threshold, does not mean neglect is not happening.
Maybe a visual will help, but again educate yourself before you post stuff that is not factual. Pay attention to the bit that says "Emotional unavailanility" and "Inconsistenty of emotional support"- this is why we talk about emotional neglect, not physical.

Emotional needs of the child are clearly not met- I find it very weird you are contesting it unless you are the actual mum of this poor girl, writing from your holiday with your new man.

Thank you for the lecture. Social services have their hands full. The child is cared for and safe. School may well put it on file but the plan fact is that social services won’t act on it until something significant changes.

It’s still on the mother. She doesn’t have to move him in. She doesn’t have to flit off on holiday and leave her child. She doesn’t have to send OP the most utterly selfish texts describing the joys of being child free. She isn’t. She’s choosing to ignore the fact that she’s a mother and putting herself first. He might well have stated he has no interest in her child but the fact that she fails to see the ramifications of that because it gets in the way of what she wants still isn’t on him. It’s squarely on her. She is the parent.

But that is still the mother’s fault . She has taken up with someone who has upfront said that he wants no role in the child’s life , if you are a parent then you throw him back and pick again .

Getting a bit sick of all of the replies stating not to blame the bf- don't be so naive: I've seen very loving, caring, perfect single mothers change completely and start neglecting the kids once a new man comes into the picture. He then moves in and everything turns upside down.

He’s moving in but doesn’t want to play a fatherly role again? That’s not going to work is it

This has made me feel like crying. Poor little girl 💔
There is no way I couldnt say anything. Be careful with the way you word things though as she may cut you off.

@Rockstar1617 the Nanny is leaving because she is knackered and being exploited, not because she doesn’t like the child.

All I can say is that this thread is so so sad. The poor child. I think I would just see what happens over the next few months and see what you think. Sorry there's no helpful advice OP.

It sounds as though your friend had had her head turned and is neglecting her child. I’m sorry but what mum would miss her child’s pre-school first week or any other firsts if they didn’t have to. I think she seriously needs to review her priorities. I knew someone like this once and the other man drove her kids back to their father. Disgusting and have zero respect for her or this mum. I would have to be honest and voice my concerns.

I was reading the other day about something called - affluent neglect.

Yes - there is more focus on this - it was covered in the latest safeguarding update and working in an independent school it’s something we’re particularly told to be aware of. This kind of neglect and physical abuse are what we hear the most disclosures for.

I was reading the other day about something called - affluent neglect.

When I Googled it - I found realms of information from legal firms, to social services, to schools and councils. So it's a genuinely a thing.

Have a look into it OP. It might help you put into words the feeling you have that something isn't right, and that might help you be able to decide the best approach with your friend.

The poor child. I'd start lightly and see how she reacts e.g what changed new partners mind of being involved with her child now he's moving in? Is he going to be a dad role etc? If she's prickly it'll tell you how to proceed. If it doesn't seem like it'll go down well I would it out a month or two and see how things are panning out. But if it looks like the child is being ignored still then id have to point out the obvious neglect to her

Have to say I'm also confused what a school will do about this? She is being cared for, it's not like she's being left home on her own.

But they are not being met, are they?
I suggest maybe doing a course on child protection, lots of information online that you dont have t opay for, because only financially meeting child's need does not need child's needs are being met and there are different forms of neglect you seem totally unaware of.

SS may not be interested at this point, but school will put this information on file, and they absolutely DO NEED to know even if they can't act on it straight away.

Please do upgrade your knowledge, it's a really interesting topic btw.

And I reiterate, if the child's needs are being met, there won’t be anything the school can do. Social Services won’t be interested.

Report to school, they will know unlike OP and you what to do with this information.
A nanny (who may live at any time and is overworked) does not equal meeting emotional needs. Please read my post carefully again if you need more examples.

Report to who ? Social Services won’t be interested because the mother clearly has enough money to meet the childs’ needs - just not herself.

I would speak to friend and it she falls out with you it's up to her.

How was friend's own upbringing? Maybe she thinks it's normal

The nanny didn't say she doesn't like the child, she is just overworked.

School and nursery won't be able to do anything about this though. As long as the child is physically cared for and not abused, that's as good as they could expect if they went into care . Plus it's pretty normal for certain sectors of society to outsource the care of young children to paid staff.

So single mum "has" her only child for 3 nights a week and a few hours on sundays. AIBU to wonder why she went through the IVF?

Crikey, this is shocking

Leaving a 3 y/o with paid help?

No bloody way