Feeling daunted by my child starting reception - how much should I help after school ?

DC2 is off to Uni next year so I'll be an empty nester. In my experience there will be plenty of stressier times so pace yourself. 😁

The fact that you care means your DD already has a good start. Read bedtime stories to her and encourage any practice reading/writing she wants to do. Make reading fun.

Encourage a love of learning. Good primary schools will lay the foundations for a life long love of.learning (before puberty knocks it out of them) so just encourage that at home too.

They probably aren't. And anyway, nobody's told you not to help at all, we've said listen to her read and read to her. Just don't stress trying to learn the phonics yourself and make her practice those specific sounds.

It's also unlikely that all of the children are reading already - parents like to exaggerate.

@lighg my DS knew a few phonics as he had an older sister but couldn't write his name or anything when starting school (summer baby) and he scored top in SATS in the whole - fairly large - school.

Just be around for her, snack, play time. Read at bed time.

The best thing you can do is something they like to call cultural capital in educational terms. That means things like museums, National trust places, being in nature and learning about bugs or baking, or planting seeds, or making your own art works or doing little science experiments - general background knowledge about the world and how it works and I really don't mean sit down lessons, just experiencing things together.

Well I never did more than the minimum reading and homework and both my children achieved top grades at GCSE. Once they started secondary I didn’t help with anything. You don’t necessarily need to do loads, as others have said reading is great if you do that and helping with homework. They also knew no phonics when they started, unlike the kids who attended the nursery at the school. DS was just 4 as he was an August baby.

I don't need to be dismissive and it's just another person's perspective but this is absolutely nothing to worry about

DS couldn't reliably blend until half way through year 1.

He's now 12, top set for everything and reading age of 15+

Don't stress they get there in their own time!

They don't have to know 15 sounds, many won't! They will never tell you the results of these assessments, they are there for the government to track progress, which of course is going to be massive between reception and year 6. She's 4-5 years old, don't worry about assessments, book bands, SAT's results....none of it matters. They are all changing and developing constantly, and that shy, quiet boy in the corner who seems like he's 'behind' the rest might yet be the one to get the best GCSE results!

Yes but the school will teach them the 15 sounds and how to blend. It's not your job to do that apart from if the school specifically ask you to do anything at home. They have their methods which work amazingly well.

In my daughter's class of 17 I don't think any of them could write their name legibly in September. They stuck their initial efforts to the wall in the classroom which I how I know . By July they all, without exception, met the objectives of the phonics scheme they're on. Including writing a few sentences independently, reading books independently. This is a primary school in a predominantly working class area although not deprived as such but just an ordinary primary school nothing fancy.

If you want to help, hot housing academics isn't how to do.it. Provide craft materials, music , play outside etc that schools don't do so much of.

Don't stress about the phonics screening, it's for the government not the kids. I'm a teacher.

Not sure you can be behind before starting school. Reception is to get them all on a fairly equal level before the real stuff starts in year 1.

Millions of parents have gone through this before you. All will be fine. The teachers will tell you what they want or need you to do at home to support them, and like others say this will initially be doing a few pages of reading in the school-supplied reading books every day. Anything you can do to support a love of reading or curiosity will help, as will keeping your anxiety levels down.

Don’t ask lots of questions straight after school about her day, mine was tired and all I got was I don’t know or I can’t remember, he needed like an hour after school to chill

You don’t really need to do a lot, just read stories as normal and she’ll pick it up. Ours had to read at home 3x a week. The school did sessions for parents on supporting phonics and do quite a lot of stay and play sessions all the way through to year 6 for maths, crafts, reading. Any child that wasn’t really there had early interventions with sessions in groups and were taken out of class for an hour on a morning

Read to her, talk about the pictures in the book, ask what she thinks will happen next/how the character might be feeling. Once she's bringing home reading books from school, make time to listen to her read (the ones at my son's infant school had phonics activities or questions you could ask them at the end). Give her opportunities to practise her maths skills, e.g. at the supermarket, how many apples are in the bag? Keep it fun, stop if she's tired or not in the mood.

my daughter has also started reception this week.

get some alpha blocks for the fridge. When she takes an interest, play with them. We spell daft words like “poo” with an emphasis on the “oo” sound. Little things like that. Or spell your pet’s name. Or animal names like cat and dog.

i wouldn’t teach much outside of school in case you teach it differently or wrong!

if she’s going to have telly on after school while you cook dinner, make it alphablocks or number blocks. I’m astounded by how much my daughter has learned from those shows! Also, Maddies’s “do you know” is good.

you could buy or print some basic KS1 exercises/activities, and just do one an evening?

Read books before bed

talk about stuff when you’re out and about, eg point out numbers on buses, how tall and small things are, seasons, the days of the week etc! Whatever comes to mind.

all easy stuff .

She isn't behind. If other parents have really been hothousing their 4 year olds over the summer then more fool them.

This really isn't something to worry about. Talk to her about school, have conversations about what she's been learning and what you can see in the world around you. Listen to her reading and read to her. And chill!

Reading. Talking about her day. Taking a big interest in her school life as she grows up. And yes, promoting reading before bed as a good habit. That makes a huge difference.

But just let her relax after school and don’t over schedule her.

Really, please don't stress about it. School will teach her, at her own pace. There's such a wide range of what is normal in Reception. You don't need to do anything other than read any books she gets sent home once or twice. She's not going to be behind anyone at all and she'll have other strengths compared to her peers.

You can support school everywhere you go - stop and sound out letters on road signs, notice numbers on doors and in shops, talk about propagation when looking for conkers together, research any sudden interests together (eg how can birds fly, when feeding the ducks etc).

Reading for pleasure, talking, listening and giving a consistent safe space to unwind IS helping with school.

No need to do anything apart from reading in my opinion.

These children are 4/5 years old, they absolutely do not need to be doing more work at home after a full day of school.

The best thing you can do is read to her.

I certainly did not do phonics at home with DS in reception, nor in year 1 or year 2 in fact. There is far too much pressure on these little children.

DS is now 16 just started college doing 4 A levels in maths, chemistry, biology and computer science so it's done him zero harm!

And remember after school she will be very tired!! Give her a snack, let her play and chill. No need to do any extra learning letters, numbers etc. It's all about learning through having fun in reception, and settling in and enjoying school is the most important thing at this point (and arguably throughout one's school days!)

The only time we've done phonics at home was during covid and we had full time home learning. Listening to her read and reading to her is all you need to do right now. Don't stress about it.

My DD has now gone into Y1 but last year, her teacher recommended phonics practice at home. Little and often they said so she doesn't get too overwhelmed. Also reading. She may bring a book home each week from the school library to read with you. She will be fine and will hopefully settle into the routine. My DD came on so much during reception!