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Original poster

Would you let your child do this?

39 replies

Peach897 · 06/09/2024 17:52

Go to play in a garden with 3 other children. My DC is age 5. They are 5, 7, and 8. Their mum is in the house but not really watching them? They know not to leave the garden though.

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Underlig · 07/09/2024 07:25

Yes.

GRex · 07/09/2024 07:21

If the other kids aren't problematic then this is fine, and no different than letting kids play upstairs. Eating random plants is more like 18 month old behaviour. My DS wouldn't do anything daft nor start hitting others though, some kids these ages do need watching.

BlueyTuesdays · 07/09/2024 07:20

Depends on the dynamics of the other kids given yours is one of the younger ones. One of my neighbours has 2
kids who play outside together, she’s inside with the door open. When I’m in my garden I can hear how the big one (7 or 8) treats the little one (4) and it’s not very nice but because it’s verbal or stuff like the big one blocking the little one from getting last or getting a toy she doesn’t pick up on it until the little one cracks and runs inside crying.

When the big one had his friends round it escalated further. Even the nicest of young children can be awful to younger ones whether teasing or picking on etc plus sometimes the egging on to do silly things so I’d want supervision for the 5 year olds that’s not just a 7 and 8 year old.

Florafleur · 07/09/2024 07:14

Yes, children need to learn to think for themselves, be independent and self reliant.

You will have already given opportunities for this at home in your own garden or with some ‘watching from a bench’ in the park. You will have supported them around dangers ( not eating berries, not wandering away), as will the parent of the other children).

Make the visit short initially and build from there to give everyone some confidence. Talk after each visit about how it was, reiterate the safety messages and spit any additional ones.

Please let them play.

Poppins21 · 07/09/2024 07:04

Yes I would if I trusted the Mum.

But it depends on the child, is the 5 year old sensible, well sensible as a 5 year old gets of course?

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/09/2024 21:06

Who on earth has an unsecured garden so assume no lock on gate /no gate when have small kids

It's just not worth the risk

So I would say no to this if mum isn't watching

If they could guarantee can't escape the garden then yes

IamGrout · 06/09/2024 20:33

Nope, not at 5. The other children are too young to be responsible, there should be an adult there.

lazzapazza · 06/09/2024 19:44

Depends on the children. Depends on the garden.

Everybody will sit somewhere on the sliding scale of when it becomes too risky to leave them unsupervised.

Flittingaboutagain · 06/09/2024 19:23

heldinadream · 06/09/2024 18:10

Garden not secure. Oldest DC 8. Mother not really watching them.
No.

If the garden was rock solid secure and/or mother vigilant, then yes.

Children are unpredictable and adventurous and egg each other on to do things that alone they wouldn't do.

Agree completely.

Also the older two could easily be distracted whilst your little one wanders off.

FlowersOfSulphur · 06/09/2024 19:02

Does your DC know not to eat berries, mushrooms etc without checking with an adult? That would be my concern re my DC playing in an unfamiliar garden at that age.

Firenzeflower · 06/09/2024 18:54

Yes. Unless there is a pond I’d be happy for them to do that.

Thepeopleversuswork · 06/09/2024 18:53

Yes I would and did.

ttcat37 · 06/09/2024 18:44

Depends on the family, kids, garden, whether they’ve got a dog, pond etc

K0OLA1D · 06/09/2024 18:19

Yes and have done, from younger.

Next doors little girl is only in year 4 and still comes round to ours.

BarbaraHoward · 06/09/2024 18:19

I mean it's just a drop off playdate, right? I don't expect the parents to be supervising every second on a playdate. Confused

If the garden isn't secure I'd expect the parents to be alert to that, but that's the only thing giving me pause.

Chasingthewilddeer · 06/09/2024 18:16

Generally, yes but it would depend on the exact situation. Is the 5 child able to play without adult support, can you trust them not to leave the garden, and can they get help from you or the other parent if needed, what is the area like, if they were to leave the garden, e.g quiet or busy road.

tolerable · 06/09/2024 18:14

yes.but i would knock and say to mum,this is 1st time get play out with friends and youre a bit anxious. give her your phone no so can contact you if wee one wants home/etc.agree pick up time?

SkankingWombat · 06/09/2024 18:13

I would be absolutely fine with this as long as there weren't open bodies of water or similar hazards in the garden.

SaffronsMadAboutMe · 06/09/2024 18:13

Needanewname42 · 06/09/2024 18:08

Yes, and I'd be fairly happy for the kids to bounce between the two gardens. Assuming you aren't on a main road.

Blimey, how big is the trampoline? 🤣🤣😉

SaffronsMadAboutMe · 06/09/2024 18:12

Peach897 · 06/09/2024 18:00

They can actually leave the garden as it’s not secured but the other DC are generally sensible I think and stay on there. My DC wouldn’t leave either

Yes I would.

What's made you ask, if they're all sensible kids?

heldinadream · 06/09/2024 18:10

Garden not secure. Oldest DC 8. Mother not really watching them.
No.

If the garden was rock solid secure and/or mother vigilant, then yes.

Children are unpredictable and adventurous and egg each other on to do things that alone they wouldn't do.

Babyworriesreal · 06/09/2024 18:09

Yes

Createausername1970 · 06/09/2024 18:09

Yes. They have to experience responsibility and freedom and this seems a good compromise.

My friend and I were inseparable when we were 4, always round each others houses or playing in each others gardens, I wasn't walked round to his and he wasn't walked round to mine. We walked round ourselves or on our bikes.

Appreciate the traffic was nonexistent, so far safer roads than today, but I do think kids are kept in bubble wrap a bit today.

Needanewname42 · 06/09/2024 18:08

Yes, and I'd be fairly happy for the kids to bounce between the two gardens. Assuming you aren't on a main road.

cjsxx · 06/09/2024 18:07

I wouldn't no, I have a 4 year old son and personally I'd want to be there

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