Is private at primary actually worth it ?

@And100 "My friend's child (at 4yo) was allocated to a primary in an area nationally notorious for rioting, racism and crime"

The area where he lives.....🤔

It depends on your area. Are secondary schools decent? If the secondary schools are underperforming and the only secondary schools that aren't are selective, then yes it may be worth investing in a private primary education. Sorry if that offends but it is the reality in some areas of England.

I would never endorse private education (primary or otherwise), not even with poor state options available.

I think your money is better spent elsewhere, especially when you are describing it as 'bloody expensive' – the expense should mean absolutely nothing to you if it's even a consideration. Other downsides may include stress and anxiety from the high emphasis on academic performance, less robust systems for beyond academic support services, ease of school commute, bullying and drinking at an early age has been found to be more widespread and begin earlier, lack of exposure to a diverse socioeconomic environment making it harder for children to develop a broader worldview and appreciate difference, longer school holidays requiring more childcare.

No many different variables OP, it’s impossible to answer really.

You asked about disadvantages - well, apart from the money, I would say the main ones are local friends, and pressure from school.

Some private schools can be quite pushy, which doesn’t suit all kids.

The main issue for me would be having local friends. I live in a village, and pretty much all the kids go to the local village primary. At primary my kids had loads of friends in the village. They’d often go to the park after school, and they’d always have friends nearby to play with in the holidays. One family I know sent their kids to the private school, which was a half hour drive away. The parents had to spend all holidays ferrying the kids around to visit friends. So that’s something to bear in mind.

Money is the biggest issue though. I would say that unless you’re minted and you know with absolute certainty that you’re going to remain minted, you are better saving your money for private secondary school. I’d say there is little doubt that private secondary school will offer a better chance at getting good grades.

It’s obviously worth it to some people or they wouldn’t do it.

Sometimes it’s worth getting them in at 3/4 as it’s harder to get in at 8/11.

boring answer but depends entirely on the school, particularly how they manage behaviour and other needs

i am an ex primary school teacher a big reason why I left was struggling to manage extreme behaviour problems with no support and having to differentiate heavily and plan and run a million interventions alongside the normal school day.

i have chosen a state primary school based on the fact that they have an amazing SEN department, a re-regulation room and a pastoral team. I am confident that there will be less pressure on the classroom teachers, a plan when it comes to extreme behaviour and good support available should DC have any additional needs.

had my DC gone to my last school, I’d have had her in the local girl’s prep after the first incident of a classroom evacuation. But that’s not an option for everyone.

I actually went to a private secondary from a state primary. It’s not a great transition. Your old primary school friends (and their parents) think you’re snobs and don’t want to be friends with you. The private secondary kids have been in a private primary together and you are some outsider who has dared to join their ranks. It sucks. If you can afford it go private from the start.

For what it’s worth I don’t believe that private schools should need to exist. Education should be up to standard for everyone. But it isn’t so here we are.

We live in a nice little town, where there is a public elementary and a private one.

Out kids go to the public one. It's fine. All the kids in the neighborhood go there, from what I can see the private one attracts out of towners (so if you live in our town, all your friends live elsewhere).

The private one is nice (but objectively not that much different to the public - I don't include the actual teaching in this observation).

I think it's a waste of money for elementary.

We are definitely thinking of private for high school though.

For me, yes. We live in the city centre and the catchment school is a) poor, b) a very awkward and not particularly safe walk away and c) didn't have the wraparound care we initially needed. It also wasn't actually in the community where we live. Added to that DD started off very shy and I think she'd have been lost in a much bigger class. At her school she's been able to flourish and discover a talent for music. However, had we lived outside the city in areas where some of my friends live, we'd have opted for the local primary instead of paying.

In some areas getting into private at 11 involves 2y of tutoring and a lot of stress, private from primary at a through school avoids this

State til 8 deffo. Esp if you have a good Primary near you. It all changes from Year 3. Up until that point not worth it in my opinion.

It depends on the quality of the SLT and the quality of teaching.
It depends how much value you place on smaller classes.
It depends how much value you place on social status.
It depends whether it is a school, private or state that caters well for children with additional needs, either behavioural, academic, or exceptionally able or talented.
It depends on what extra curricular activities are possible in either private or state.

Ultimately, it depends on the best fit for your child, if you can afford private. Dont assume it’s always better and don’t assume state is always worse.

Depends on the child depends on the schools.
my eldest went to private prep and with ND and SLD it was the right decision for him. My youngest will be fine in state, provided our local state keeps up its current amazing provision.

Despite my kids going to a really brilliant primary where they are thriving. If money were no object I'd send my kids private. I think generally behaviour is better so there is more focus, I think there are more extra curricular things. I don't think the teachers are any better and may be worse in places but I think they have a much easier job with smaller classes and more focused families.

If you can't afford alll through I think prep is worth it if you are trying to get into grammar, but if there are a lack of good secondaries then I'd say the old state unitl eight rings true.

My DCs did Reception at the local Outstanding infants school in a leafy suburbia. It was as good as a state education could be I think. In 1 academic year the teacher changed 5 times!! When I asked for a higher level biff/chip reading book, I was told not to worry and that they were planning to get every pupil to the same level by the end of year 2. No desire to support improvement. They were very busy though. 2 of the class (NT) were not toilet trained by age 5 and more than a handful of kids didn’t have enough food or adequate clothing. The teachers were battling against some inadequate parenting before they could think of teaching. I felt huge sympathy for the poor TA who stayed the course and was very lovely.

We switched to prep school from year 1. The difference is considerable. The facilities and pastoral care is outstanding. The ratio of teachers to pupils is excellent and maths and English are taught in sets from year 1. There is additional support for children who are struggling and extra stretch lessons for more capable pupils.

My 8 year old plays the violin, speaks passable French, plays hockey to a high standard, has just finished reading The Hobbit and has beautiful penmanship (better than DH in fact 😂). They’re both settled and happy.

I’m pleased with the school’s support to enable each child to thrive based on their abilities and interests. That’s what we pay for essentially. It’s a mixed group socially (from the local butcher, lots of builders and plumbers to a millionaire entrepreneur and big mix in between). Not sure where the idea of elite social circles comes from.

As said above though, every school is different. You need to make the decision based on your child and feel from each school you visit. It’s a value judgement that only you can make.

It depends entirely on the school in question. DD1 went to a private primary until we moved somewhere with good schools.

Academically it was brilliant- but when she got to the state primary she was indeed about two years ahead. So she spent the next few years pretty bored.

Reporting-wise it was good. They did the (Durham-?) test each year so you got an accurate picture of where your child was as against other children across the country who took the test. State has always been less informative IME.

Socially it wasn’t great, as the small class size combined with the presence of an evil little madam in her class who revelled in playing off kids against each other and excluding those who didn’t toe the line.

Extracurricular were decent, but there were limited spaces and many cost extra. State was actually much, much better in that regard.

Additional costs were better at state. Uniform for one thing costs a fortune at private and I still don’t consider there to be any need for a 6 year old to have a blazer.

SEN was seemingly good (about half the class struggled with dyslexia, dsypraxia or had issues stemming from trauma).

Ethnic diversity (though not class based diversity) was good, completely unlike the local state schools in that area at the time. But when we moved both ethnic and class diversity was better at the new state school.

Music lesson provision was far better at private (as compared to both the local state schools and the new state we moved to). Private allows for longer lessons, the teachers don’t chop and change, and there was much more musical emphasis overall.

TLDR - depends on where you are, the child’s interests, and what the local competitors are like.

Depends on the school and the child I think.
ours were state till 11+ and tutored in final year for exam prep etc and it worked well

It depends on what the state provision is like in your area and your financial state. Personally, I do not think private primary is worth it. You can take the extra money and provide extra curricular activities for your child or put the money away for secondary fees, uni, buying a car or a house deposit.

Private secondary on the other hand is a different ball game.

OP nobody is going to be able to answer that because nobody knows what the state and private options are like near you, or what your child is like.

Would DS have benefited from an academic hothouse prep? Nope, he’s already an anxious child and although he’s an academic high flyer he would find the pressure hugely stressful. Weekly spelling tests already send him into a panic the night before in case he doesn’t get 10/10. It would have suited me perfectly though.

Would he have benefited from a failing state primary with lots of disruptive kids and no one to one attention? No to that as well.

Has he done well in a primary with smallish class sizes, a very nurturing ethos, and lots of opportunities for enrichment (music, MFL, dance, drama)? Yes. It happens to be a state primary, but if the same school had been private he would still have done well there.

Unless this is some kind of hypothetical discussion presumably you have your child and a small number of school options. You know what they are and you can't change them so consider the specifics not random anecdata from posters who happen to reply to this thread

I'd say that the main one is that not all private schools get better academic outcomes for your DC than a state school would. If you have good state options and your DC doesn't appear to have additional support needs (difficult to judge at age 4), and the local private school is nurturing but not really offering much apart from smaller classes, then you may well decide that the cost isn't worth it.

You're asking the wrong question, OP.

I'd suggest you need to ask
"What are the benefits of my child going to the specific private school that is available to them versus going to the specific state school that is available to them"

and

"Do I think this is worth the money it will cost versus other potential uses for the money?"

For what it's worth, when I asked myself these questions (my DC are now out of school) I decided the private school provided marginal benefits but there were pros and cons both ways, but overwhelmingly it would be better for my children that they went to state school and I saved the money for university/early adulthood/house deposit.

The schools landscape has now changed and your specific schools and priorities may be different to mine .

My ds is very academic, however personality wise he is quite introverted and reserved. His selective school has been brilliant in tailoring a plan just for him to really come through in his own way.
I could just see him swallowed up in a state school without that individual attention and the academic side slipping. MN would have you believe that an academic child will shine wherever, and i disagree with that. A child's personality also contributes to their achievements.
So private was the best choice for us.

I tend to find the people that 'get to the top' are generally always privately educated. Guess is depends if you have aspirations for your kids to be Prime Minister/Consultant Surgeon/Vet to the King etc or just like the rest of us mere mortals?