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AIBU?

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Original poster

Might be being petty AF

69 replies

TheOddSocks · 06/09/2024 09:32

Happy to be told I'm being petty AF here but it's actually driving me mad.

I've recently started reacting to dairy so I'm trying to cut it out completely.

I've been buying DF alternatives and it seems to have been disappearing quite quickly and twice this week I have gone to make a coffee to find there is none left. Similarly I went to open DF cheese I had bought to find half of it gone.

I know I haven't finished the milk as I only use it for coffee and I know I didn't open the cheese. Everyone has denied opening it (could have been a simple mistake so was just highlighting that's it's DF). This morning I've just seen DH using the DF milk in his coffee. Why when there is normal milk he can and always has happily used is he now choosing the only one I can have.

He's obviously been the person using it and prob used the cheese and I asked him this morning to stop and he just said "ah sorry" and walked away.

I wouldn't even mind if it was for a coffee and he noticed we'd ran out of normal milk but that isn't the case. We have a shop 2 mins down the road but it doesn't sell DF so I need to either order it or jump in the car and go to the shop further away.

I know this is stupid but it's just another in a long line of unnecessary shitty behaviour that I seem to be the one impacted by.

OP posts:
AutumnFroglets · 07/09/2024 10:29

but it's just another in a long line of unnecessary shitty behaviour that I seem to be the one impacted by.

It's deliberate OP. Once you realise that, other things start to fall into place. Open your eyes and you will see what a manipulative, awkward, unsupportive, dismissive, belittling arsewipe you are living with.

Arewethebadguys · 07/09/2024 10:27

I would spit in it. Or a small bit of pee. Or bin juice. But I'm petty and if I've asked and he's lied, then keeps doing it then that's on him.

Full disclosure - I have brothers and growing up nothing was my own so the delight in watching them eating/using my things then rubbing in my face, was priceless

Marchingonagain · 07/09/2024 10:22

Twattty behaviour but an obvious solution is to buy extra DF milk

WhoStoleMySpoons · 07/09/2024 10:04

Do you have room in a cupboard for a large stock of long life dairy free milk? It would lessen the impact of him stealing what's in the fridge. I buy the 8 packs of long life almond milk from Amazon. They have soya, oat and a few others available too.

I've given up on DF cheese but the one I used to buy had long enough until the best before date that I'd buy 2 if it was on offer. Start buying it on the assumption 2 people are going to eat it and if he suddenly stops it shouldn't go to waste.

I know you shouldn't have to do these things and I'm sorry you're having to tolerate such behaviour.

AlisonDonut · 07/09/2024 09:59

I'd be fucking furious. I had a horrific allergy to dairy for a good 10 years and the bastard stuff was so bloody expensive on that alone I'd have gone up the wall.

This isn't inconsiderate, it is deliberate.

jenn88 · 07/09/2024 09:49

I'm currently DF as breastfeeding my son with possible CMPA.
Why on earth anyone would choose to eat cheese alternatives is beyond me! I mean they are not terrible and I can eat happily as an alternative but will be pleased to go back!!
DP would go without milk over drink my oat milk!
Maybe it is genuine on his part but unlikely!

OhMyGodAChicken · 07/09/2024 09:46

You’re not being petty, my brother used to do this to me. It’s calculated and sly and deliberately cruel, and you need to bin him off.

BusyMum47 · 07/09/2024 09:45

GlowWurm · 06/09/2024 09:37

Definitely just buy dairy-free from now on, but the bigger problem is:

it's just another in a long line of unnecessary shitty behaviour that I seem to be the one impacted by.

This! ⬆️

He clearly doesn't give a shit. That's the issue.

Cherrysoup · 07/09/2024 09:38

Extremely inconsiderate as opposed to thoughtless. Pretty shit of him.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 07/09/2024 09:38

Spenditlikebeckham · 06/09/2024 09:53

If he is a drinker consider getting him alcohol free next time he wants a drink... Tell him you thought he was being healthier...

This.

That is my kind of pettiness.

angstypant · 07/09/2024 09:32

TheOddSocks · 06/09/2024 11:29

Can't buy all DF as kids wouldn't use it. I can buy spare and put it in the cupboard I guess and always have one in there.

The other shitty things are just ongoing thoughtless behaviour. Nothing major in isolation but all together it's really grating on me.

Edited

Buy more DF?
He's a dick

Werweisswohin · 07/09/2024 09:31

Has he no sense of taste?
Why would anyone choose to eat something that definitely tastes inferior?

Original poster
TheOddSocks · 07/09/2024 09:28

It's dairy free rather than lactose free

OP posts:
NeedBiggerWindChimes · 06/09/2024 23:35

SpringleDingle · 06/09/2024 10:00

You can buy LACTOSE FREE normal cheese (cheddar and soft). It's not dairy free but it taste perfectly normal and delicious. I assumed that was what OP meant. Same with milk - you can buy normal milk just LF due to addition of lactase enzyme.

Show quote history

That depends whether the reaction is to the lactose or the dairy protein. My DD reacts to the A1 protein so can only have 100% A2.

Floatlikeafeather2 · 06/09/2024 23:27

SpringleDingle · 06/09/2024 10:00

You can buy LACTOSE FREE normal cheese (cheddar and soft). It's not dairy free but it taste perfectly normal and delicious. I assumed that was what OP meant. Same with milk - you can buy normal milk just LF due to addition of lactase enzyme.

Show quote history

It was my way of asking if she meant dairy free or lactose free, without sounding rude. My granddaughter is lactose intolerant and I have never been able to taste the difference with LF products.

BMW6 · 06/09/2024 11:41

I think he's doing this deliberately, so you don't have something exclusive to you (wanker).

I agree with pp - don't buy ANY dairy products (he obviously likes ND) and if he complains tell him to buy his own!

Benvolio · 06/09/2024 11:35

It's a power play. The feigned nonchalance when being challenged gives it away.

I put up with this sort of shit for years, thinking I must be BU. I now live with a man who actually likes me.

Original poster
TheOddSocks · 06/09/2024 11:31

And there is no way you can accidently mix up the milk, cardboard container vs plastic.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheOddSocks · 06/09/2024 11:29

Can't buy all DF as kids wouldn't use it. I can buy spare and put it in the cupboard I guess and always have one in there.

The other shitty things are just ongoing thoughtless behaviour. Nothing major in isolation but all together it's really grating on me.

OP posts:
ChampagneLassie · 06/09/2024 10:12

Sort of the reverse. My children are both intolerant and I had to cut dairy too as passes through breast milk. I kept forgetting to buy dairy things so my DP just eat the dairy free stuff and now prefers it. If you’re the one doing shopping just buy DF for all. BUT I’d be pissed off at his lack of care and thought.

CautiousLurker · 06/09/2024 10:08

Just stop buying the dairy version and when he asks why there isn’t any say that as he’s happy to eat yours, you assumed he was happy to switch. He can then go and buy his own. Btw, the long life DF alternatives are pretty much identically flavoured and textured, so I’d pop a couple of those in the back of the cupboard for when you run out. (We’re a dairy/lactose free household as kids and I are lactose intollerant. DH could care less what he puts in his coffee, so it’s easier for us all to use the same stuff).

gardenmusic · 06/09/2024 10:02

bubblesandlight · Today 09:36
It would piss me off and I would stop buying dairy and just buy df now so you don’t keep running out

That's it, Just buy dairy free. When he has to use it, he may decide he does not want to. Just don't buy dairy anymore.

SpringleDingle · 06/09/2024 10:00

Floatlikeafeather2 · 06/09/2024 09:54

Can I just ask which dairy free cheese you're buying that's so nice someone would willingly eat half a pack? Without exception, all vegan cheese I've tried is horrible.

You can buy LACTOSE FREE normal cheese (cheddar and soft). It's not dairy free but it taste perfectly normal and delicious. I assumed that was what OP meant. Same with milk - you can buy normal milk just LF due to addition of lactase enzyme.

RogueRascal · 06/09/2024 09:59

Floatlikeafeather2 · 06/09/2024 09:54

Can I just ask which dairy free cheese you're buying that's so nice someone would willingly eat half a pack? Without exception, all vegan cheese I've tried is horrible.

We got asda free from grated mozzarella alternative recently, makes a good toastie!

Op - wouldn't mind the OH using my milk, finishing it is out of order though...

On a side note we buy 3 different types of butter for me, DP and DS so understand the challenge

SpringleDingle · 06/09/2024 09:57

My DP is DF so I buy only DF milk (otherwise I was mixing it up and putting the wrong stuff in his or my tea absent mindedly).

I'd suggest putting the cheese in a plastic tuperware in a drawer which makes it harder for him to use.

Also tell him not to be an arse otherwise just buy only DF cheese.