DH and best friends wedding

All of this is textbook OP. He will have worse
tactics up his sleep when he realises that you won't dance to his tune.
Be strong and envision life without these twisted games every day

Everything that is happening right now and that he is doing is exactly what everyone on the this thread has been telling you would happen and what he would do.

So you KNOW how awful, abusive and manipulative his behaviour is. The proof is right there.

Keep reminding yourself of that and continue with making plans to get him out of your life.

As many others have also said, it's not just you he's abusing but your child as well.

It'll be feeling suicidal next.

Your dc needs protecting.

What an absolute twat. Why would he do that to YOUR CHILD. Emotional abuse, to his own child. Why on earth would you ever want to stay with a twat like this anymore - why would you put your child through this? Can you imagine him doing this to you and your child, year after year? The emotional blackmail? Why would you ever think to pout your child through that? If you are not thinking of you, at least think of your child. Dont enable him to abuse you and your child like this.

I’ve no idea, he’s such a dickhead!

I am confused, has the wedding actually taken place and did you go?

It is definitely time he fucked off.

Find your anger about the way he is treating your CHILD if not about the way he is treating you. You have to stay strong for your child's wellbeing.

@Strawberrysaucee

So it kicked off again on the night of the wedding

So exactly like everyone on here predicted then. Honestly, they really do follow a script.

why do i feel so guilty and sorry for him?

Because you're a nice, decent person who doesn't get off on hurting or trying to control other people. But when you're upset about the latest way he's found to be emotionally abusive, I guarantee he's not sat there feeling guilty and sorry for you. I'm sorry you're going through this. He'll backtrack now and lovebomb you and act all sad. It really fucks with your head, it's why I stayed far longer than I should have.

His goal was to upset you so you never try and go out without hus sayso again. Now he has used you child to try and control you too.

Don't feel sorry for him, find your anger.

I hope the response to this was "It was done when you told me you weren't coming. You don't get to blame this one on me".

Ah OP, he is a terrible abuser.
How can you not be furious at him abusing your child by deliberately trying to upset her?
Can you honestly not see that he is abusing your child?
Really?.
He ruined the wedding as we told you he would.

I now feel very sorry for your child.
One parent an abuser, the other enabling the abuse by staying.
Where is your anger for your little child.
Is this all that you want for them?
A selfish narcissistic father who causes nothing but stress.

Your child is depending on you to ensure they have a better life.

Of course he is back peddling.
He's a complete loser.

Because that is what he wants. I had an ex like that. He created situations where he could be a martyr and upset with me. He seemed to like the drama. It was really exhausting. It was only when I started a new relationship that I realised how toxic this life was. Please don't weaken. You've got this. Move on and be happy.

Because you love him and you are emotionally attached to him. You feel those things because you are emotionally normal and emotionally intelligent. There is nothing wrong with you feeling those things - it is natural that it causes you distress to see someone you care about being (or acting) upset. The problem is that he either doesn't feel those things, or they are secondary to what he really wants, which is to be in control of you. If you are in his control it doesn't matter to him what you feel, other than as a tool. If you are happy, then great because you will stay exactly where you are. That is why he is love bombing you. But he isn't doing it because he cares about your happiness, he is doing it to get you back in line. If you being emotionally dependent on him is what will keep you where you are, then that is what he will go for. If you being afraid is what will keep you where you are, that is what he will go for. And so on, including using your child.

Big girls pants on. Put your happiness first and hand him a spade....

He's realised he's losing his 'grip' on you OP and this is just the latest 'trick up the sleeve' to get you to stay. Next it'll be a hospital visit for chest pains.

As for telling your child that he was leaving and then didn't...what a horrible, vile manipulator he is. Easy for us to say on here but please don't fall for it. Try and get away from him.

I wonder if he realises how predictable he is.

Because his manipulative words are getting through.

Keep front of mind his abusive actions to you and your DC.

Because you're not the pig he is?

Don't fall for it

Oh dear heavens.

Is he going for an Oscar?

Deeds not words.

Stay strong or you'll have to go through this all over again

What does your mum think?

He is abusing your DC directly and indirectly. You have to consider yourself complicit and enabling the abuse of your DC if you stay.

Because he knows how to play on your feelings and emotions (although he doesn't sound like he has any himself). Please don't allow him to stay OP - as PP have said, if he realises that upsetting your child has worked, he will do it more and more. You need to protect your child (and yourself) from this.

He is now not only mentally abusing you, he is mentally abusing your child. Are you going to allow him back into your home to abuse you both. If you can't end the relationship for your own sanity do it for your poor child. You are strong enough to protect your child. You need to become mumma bear.

Probably because you love him, caring about him doesn’t just switch off. Even if you don’t want to be with him.

Also predict a fake health crisis (cancer scare, A&E for cardiac prob) - know its a trap. Or another fake crisis - health of a parent etc.

Dont fall fo any of it.

Less words.

Rinse and repeat only - "Its over you need to leave" only a couple of times.

Dont get derailed and drawn into discussion and debates with will just drain you and weaken you.

All about actions.

Walk out of the room.
Dont look at or respond to his texts.
Tell him you are finishing the call now and hang up.

Be aware what harrasment laws are - if someone contacts you two more times after you have asked them to stop - its harassment.

Keep his bad / unhinged behaviour in the public domain - text is DF, tell your DM.

Keep a record.

See a solicitor to understand what are the list of steps you need to take to end this relationship.

Take the first one.
Take the second one.

Seek lots of different types of support for yourself. Those that know and activities where you can escape and have fun/distraction.

Keep your eyes on the prize - raising an emotionally healthy child by ensuring they have at least one unconditionally focused parent.