DH and best friends wedding

This. Make sure you have alternative childcare plans that aren’t him and don’t need a single thing from him beforehand so he can’t sabotage it for you. And then you can sound excited about going without him. That will really piss him off. At the wedding put your phone on do not disturb and put the babysitter number on vip or whatever setting it is that means that will ring/message even while on do not disturb, but anything from him won’t.

OP, PLEASE don't stay in a controlling relationship because of finances. I totally get that it's really tough and tight with a child but believe me it is SO much better for your child to grow up in a happy home around emotionally stable adults, but without so much materially for a couple of years while you sort yourself out, rather than in the current set-up where they are literally learning by watching you that a controlling relationship is what relationships are "meant" to be like. They will grow up and repeat the same patterns.

I know it will be tough but you will manage and you will come out so much better and stronger the other side. Do this FOR your child, rather than using them as the reason not to! Can your parents help out at all? Do they have space for you to stay? Can they lend you a deposit for the next rental? Best of luck to you OP, sounds like you have a lovely best friend and mum x

Think he just wants to sabotage your good time OP.
Sounds like an absolute tosser. How fucking rude is he?

I've heard of not reading the thread but can't you even read the title? He is her husband already!

He's doing this to upset you, so he's going to be really confused/annoyed when you don't mention it so will try and provoke a conversation. Just grey rock him and say that you're still thinking about it, or something else vague and non-committal.

What actually is your childcare solution for this? Please don't say it's him!

I think it’s his sign of saying he doesn’t want to marry you. Relationships can drift, but when friends all start getting married, it’s like a sense check of whether you’d get married to current partner, in this case, judging by behaviour it’s most likely a no. Cut your losses and move on. Hope you have a lovely day without him, at least you can concentrate on the bride and not have to pander to grumpy boyfriend.

Definitely this. Don't tell him. I wonder how long it will be before he asks you about it.

You are right.
Not my situation, but with age I think you get fed up of give and take, though.

Sure he’s not secretly in love with your friend?

@Strawberrysaucee

Promise us that you won't get caught up in unpleasant phone calls, messages while you are away. Give your mother your phone to answer.

Yes, but in marriage it's normal to exercise a bit of give and take in these matters.

This is lovely. Hope you have a really great day with your mum and best friend :)

He doesn’t like it because there will be attention on you. Vile man-baby behaviour.

"My friend will loose money on his meal as they were 115 pound per person."

Give your friend the money to cover his meal and tell her he's not coming. Or let her invite someone else.

edited: sorry I see you have invited your mum!

I totally agree, you tell him you have advised friend he isn’t coming and she has given his place to someone else. Obviously this isn’t a lie.

Don’t say it’s your mum, and absolutely do not rely on him for childcare. He WILL fuck it all up for you last minute.

Have a fab time with your Mum.

I'd be planning my escape going forward.

can you ask if someone else can go with you instead of him?

Absolutely tell your friend he isn't coming. Don't cover for him though, be honest. Say he doesn't want to come, he can't give you any decent reason why not, and if she wants to offer his invite to someone else feel free. Tell her you're sorry for the fact he's put her in this position.

😂

Misses the point but £115 per person?! - is Gordon Ramsey coming in and carving the steak in front of everyone?

That's what I was thinking, just say your told X he's not coming so she has invited someone else, don't say who he may well ruin it for both you and your Mum.
Also have your Ds overnight with someone or he'll be calling, texting and moaning ruining it again like the hen do.

Glad your mum is going with you op. You'll have more fun with her than your dh by the sounds of it! I do think it's very selfish of him. Firstly it's so last minute and secondly, putting your partner's wants and needs ahead of your own sometimes is part of being in a loving relationship. This is your best friend's wedding and was important to you, for that reason alone he should suck it up and be coming, especially since he generally enjoys being social and he doesn't have a better excuse than he just doesn't fancy it.

Or, conversely, he’s a self-obsessed twat.

He’s bound to sulk now he knows you’ve replaced him. You’re supposed to beg him and please with him to come along, and have a terrible time because he’s made you feel bad about going.

Now that you have your mum as a plus one, you aren’t following his script; expect him to kick off about that.

So, he doesn't want to come.
He is an adult, not a child to be dragged around.
We all have been through that to some point, haven't we?
I hate attending other people's events too,
and in fairness always say no.
Fortunately I'm free to do so.